How to Stay Resilient when Everything Keeps Changing

Regardless of how well or not well you think you did at adapting to change in the last year, the fact that you’re here reading this shows me that you made it. Congratulations!

We’re still not quite be out of the woods yet, and making plans (especially big wedding ones, particularly if you’ve had them dashed hard before) can feel really scary. What if you book something, get really excited about it and then find that everything has to be cancelled or postponed again?

I hear you honey, those thoughts are real and valid. It’s a tough time to try and get a big mixed generation group together (“Auntie Doris is 98, we can’t have her in the same room as little Jimmy’s 5-year-old-potential-germ-carrying-sticky-fingers!”) But here’s the thing, change is happening to us all the time.

We may wish the hands of time to stop turning but unless you happen to have Bernard’s watch*, we all have to deal with those calendar pages whipping away. (*For those of you who were not a small child in Britain in the 90s, this is an obscure reference to a BBC programme where a boy could stop time with his watch so as to get up to adventures and mischief and still be home in time for tea.)

Life is change. We must deal with changes in our relationships, mental health, communities, finances, physical health, job… there’s not a single place in our lives that isn’t subject to change. The problem is we need a balance of familiar and new, otherwise things feel incredibly stressful (it’s called Future Shock). 2020 was too much change, too quickly and that’s when many of us struggle to cope.

This is where resilience comes in. Researchers used to think that resilience was genetic. We all know someone who manages to cope with anything, right? We all used to believe that some people were just more able to cope with change than others. However, what the research has discovered is that resilience can be taught. If you haven’t heard, it turns out that our brains are malleable and we’re able to develop new neural pathways all the time. Look up neuroplasticity, it’s very cool. This scientific breakthrough means the saying is wrong, you can teach an old dog new tricks. Hurrah!

The question is, what does best practice in coping with change look like? (No, there’s no wine involved!) If you’re wobbly about change, here are a few healthy practices for increasing your level of resilience.

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Moody, California Coast Elopement

High-school sweethearts Erika and Garrett couldn’t let 2020 (and their 10-year anniversary) pass without at least one good thing happening, so when it got to December they decided to plan their elopement in just one week.

With a budget of $1,000, they just wanted to present their authentic selves on the day. They were originally due to get married at Seymour Marine Discovery Center in Santa Cruz, so as they loved their venue so much, decided to hold their elopement ceremony as close to it as they could.

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Unique Wedding Stationery Ideas You Probably Won’t Have Thought Of

Invitation suite by Papier

Your wedding stationery should get you excited. As creators of a print magazine, we think there’s something so extra special about seeing something beautifully designed and printed rather than just in a digital format, and your wedding stationery is no different. Sure, you could just sent a group WhatsApp, or invite people to a Facebook group, but where’s the magic in that?!

If you’re looking for something to truly knock your guests’ socks off (after all it will be the first thing they see to give them an indication of what your wedding day will be like) then look no further than these companies, who are all offering something really unique with their super cool creations.

Paper made from wildflower seeds with The Seed Card Company

Visit The Seed Card Company website // Follow The Seed Card Company on Instagram

Imagine wedding and social stationery and that do not harm trees and actually help the environment! The Seed Card Company offer an inspirational range of six beautifully designed eco-friendly wedding collections, which have multiple design options in each, that include Save the Date cards, Invitations, Information cards, RSVP’s, Menus, Table numbers/Name cards, Orders of Service, Place Settings, and Thank You cards.

They are recyclable, biodegradable, and embedded with a mixture of six wildflower seed types including Bird’s Eye, Clarkia, Black Eyed Susan,
Catchfly, Snapdragon and Sweet Alyssum.

All made from post-consumer waste or recycled pre and post-consumer eco-friendly board and printed with vegan–friendly inks. Partnering with global reforestation effort, Ecologi, means each time a card or stationery suite is purchased, The Seed Card Company and Ecologi will plant a tree.

What better way to have your wedding remembered and live on?

Bold hand drawn designs from Two Tabbies

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Confessions of a Second Time Bride

The wedding industry will have you believe that by achieving wedding day perfection you will ensure your happily ever after. But let’s be realistic for a second, we all know that for some couples, that simply isn’t the case. Being a second (third or fourth!) time bride is nothing to be ashamed of. The good news is that in most cases partners are often wiser and know themselves even better having gone through the wedding – and marriage – process before. Alicia Porter is here to share her experiences of wedding planning second time around.

When I got married the first time in 1996 it was, for lack of a better phrase, ‘planning chaos’. We had location battles, I had a ‘friend’ wanted me to pay her to be a bridesmaid, my mother told me I was too fat for my wedding dress and people constantly wanted to ‘help’ by faxing me pictures of suitable dresses. So, I went on strike. We flew from Alaska to New Zealand and eloped. It was pretty, there were fun cousins nearby, and the florist was a star. The wedding dinner was a random restaurant, and there was chocolate log for a wedding cake. It was wonderful.

My family then threw an elegant garden party reception on our return. However, my parents attitude was it was their party, therefore their choices prevailed. My mother chose the invitations, the cake, the venue and what everyone wore – including me. This is how I found myself in a borrowed dress with a gardenia on my shoulder in a receiving line with outright strangers.

In hindsight, I now realise that although an elopement was easier, the result was we were two very independent people who didn’t know how to work together on big projects. Obviously, this wasn’t the only issue in the relationship, but a lack of being able to work together as a team compounded the fact that the marriage simply didn’t work. Planning for a future together requires work and communication. Child rearing is nothing if not a joint effort. Wedding planning in some respects is a safe practice run to make sure that you know how to work with each other for the bigger picture.

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