Sophie and Gareth were married last September in Wales (you can see their wedding in full in the current issue of Rock n Roll Bride magazine!) Their day was everything they ever wanted it to be, but they almost made one decision that they would have regretted forever.
Gareth and I have been married nearly five months now, and since the glitter has faded, the post-wedding admin complete and thank you cards long sent, there’s been a niggling sense of regret in the back of the mind. Nothing to do with the day itself, against all odds that was absolutely perfect (you can read all about it in the latest issue of the magazine!) Nor to do with who I married, thank goodness; he’s still my absolute number one and despite being together nine years before we got wed, it’s been like a brand new start to our relationship, in only the best way. You hear stories of people who regret not spending enough time with their other half on the day, or how much they smashed the pre-ceremony champs, or how they got carried away in all the wedding stuff and somehow landed themselves £25k in debt.
Thankfully none of those apply to me. My regret is to do with something we very nearly didn’t include. Something that was brushed aside in our initial planning as ‘something people like us just don’t have’. When I think about it too much, the thought of not having it now actually starts giving me anxious butterflies in the pit of my belly. At how much we would’ve missed, how it would’ve tainted the day and the remorse we would’ve felt. I guess I’m just going to have to take a deep breath and come out with it – my big dirty wedding secret is that we very nearly didn’t have a wedding video.
When we first started planning, we started looking at our budget, and what were our non-negotiables and what we were willing to let slip by. Photography was #1 in the absolutely gotta have it section, (well….apart from marrying each other, of course!), followed closely by good food and plenty of alcohol. And despite working in the wedding industry, knowing many talented filmmakers and highly admiring what they do, having a wedding video for ourselves was probably as far down the list of our priorities as having pristine white chair covers at our reception, or releasing doves as a symbol of our love.
We chalked it up almost straight away as something we just couldn’t afford, and I’m ashamed to admit, tried to justify our decision with a bunch of negativity; ‘everyone who needs a photographer AND a videographer traipsing after them all day must be pretty self-involved, right?’… ‘what would we do with it, force all our family and friends to come round to have an unveiling?! vom!’ I was honestly probably just jealous of the people who seemed to be able to afford everything for their wedding without so much as skipping their bi-annual holiday. Apparently weddings can turn anyone a shade of bridezilla for a small amount of time.
James and Karol were married in London in September. They wanted to keep things simple, inexpensive and meaningful to their relationship.
When they first started dating Karol was working nights while James worked during the day. During the week they had only about a two hour overlap when they were both in Central London to spend time together. So they’d meet up every day to drink coffee (Karol, because he was going to work) and wine (James, because he’d just finished work) next to Cleopatra’s Needle, watching the lights on the river and talking. When they came to plan their wedding they wanted to bring this time back into their day so they had a register office ceremony at the City of Westminster registrars and then went to Cleopatra’s Needle for photos and their first dance.
“Cleopatra’s Needle was the first place I told him I loved him”, James began, “and it’s also where we went to celebrate our engagement. So we knew that it had to be part of the wedding day. The rest followed on from there.”