Unhelpful Husbands-to-Be

Dear Kat, I’d love some advice on how to get my fiancé more involved in the wedding planning without being accused of harassing him or being a bridezilla!? Essentially, I want to know how we can make it fun for both of us and not appear to be a chore. I’m happy doing most of the organising, but when it comes to the stuff I can’t really do (such as his suit) or things I need his input on (the guest list, the music, the food) he just rolls his eyes, huffs and gets annoyed! Help!

Men are such interesting creatures aren’t they? I have to admit, at first I was completely stumped on how to reply to this because its something I struggle a bit with too! I am very action-oriented. I hate to sit on things that need doing, whereas Gareth will take forever to motivate himself to do something and it drives me fucking insane. Granted, when he does get to whatever the task is, he always does a brilliant job (whereas my penchant for rushing right in sometimes ends up with a bit of a haphazard result!) But sitting around waiting for him to do things is very frustrating. I guess what I’m saying is I totally feel your pain!

Instead of trying to answer this myself, I actually decided to chat to Gareth about this, as he’s much more likely to be able to see things from your fiancé’s point of view. Here’s what he had to say. I hope this helps.

“Well, it’s a tricky one with such little info, because there’s going to be an underlying issue which is causing him to get so easily annoyed. It could be as simple as he’s got something on his mind which is really bothering him (finances, health, work) or it could be more difficult to tackle problem like anxiety or depression.

The trouble is, once a subject like picking a suit is raised frequently enough at the wrong time to cause anger, it becomes a trigger point forever more. So even mentioning it at a good time can lead to a reactionary outburst.

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Rock Themed Wedding in Italy

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Mj and Fab’s wedding took place at the Residenza San Tommaso hotel in Polignano, southern Italy. “Our theme was ‘nerd rock’!” said the bride. “We Just followed our hearts with everything we picked. We had a live rock back and we didn’t care what anyone thought about our choices! Our ‘flower girl’ was our dog that we adopted from a kennel a year ago. She wore wings and carried our rings!”

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“It was a perfect day. It was sunny and everyone was smiling. The best moments were when we first saw each other (I started crying!) and getting our photos taken!”

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Rock n Sparkles: A New Zealand Wedding Full of Surprises

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Whitney and Craig were engaged on their nine year anniversary and married on their tenth. The wedding was held at one of New Zealand’s oldest hotels, The Cardrona, situated between Queenstown and Wanaka.

“Our theme was ‘Rock n Sparkles’,” began the bride. “Those two things pretty much sums us up. We have a deep love of rock music and I have a deep deep love of all things glitter. We also absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE skulls and had white skull confetti up the aisle and scattered on the tables. I randomly stumbled across it five days before our wedding in a Halloween sale and I had to have it! I bought them all up for $1.50 a bag.”

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“One of the more unique things about out wedding was that we had a surprise wedding party of fourteen. Seven surprise bridesmaids and seven surprise groomsmen. None of them knew they were going to be in the bridal party until about half an hour before the wedding! They all wore their own clothes and they looked great even though no-one matched.”

“Another surprise was our ceremony music. As I said we’re both really into rock music so my entrance song was Astronomy by Metallica, the signing of the register song was I am a River by Foo Fighters and our recessional song we left to was The Game by Motorhead.”

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Low Key Wedding at Oxford University

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They met whilst both studying at Oxford University, so when Xandra and Steve got married that’s where they wanted to do it. “We met at the Oxford University Mountaineering Club during our undergraduate studies,” said the bride. “We had just moved to Edinburgh, so our initial plan was to have the celebrations there. Because we were not too familiar with the city, we found ourselves looking at wedding-packaged things, which felt too traditional. We eventually decided on Exeter College as a venue because it is a special place for both of us.”

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“So many people told us that the wedding felt ‘very us’, and that was the biggest compliment”, she continued. “We wanted to have fun, and incorporate things we love, such as Harry Potter, and Disney. We also wanted to pay tribute to our love of rock climbing in some way. We ended up sending our cake makers a sketch of a climbing-inspired cake, with ‘ropes’ of marzipan lining each layer, and 2D mountains on top inspired by a Poosac mountain pillow that was our first purchase for our flat when we moved to Edinburgh.”

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A Tim Walker Inspired Wedding

Inspired by some of Tim Walker’s most famous photographs, this wedding shoot was put together by French photographer Floriane Caux, stylist Madame Coquelicot and florist Poppy Figue.

“As a huge fan of fashion photographer Tim Walker, I secretly dreamed about doing a wedding inspired by his incredible world”, explained Floriane. “We based the shoot on several pictures. We wanted to give a knowing wink to his great art and put it into a wedding day. It was a hard task, believe me!”

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Hello Kitty Wedding!

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Caroline might just be the world’s biggest Hello Kitty fan, so when she married Daniel in June, there was only one theme she wanted! They were married in Northern Ireland and the first thing they organised was her dress.

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“I never really thought I would get married, so I literally had no idea where to start”, she said. “I had a lot of personal battles to get through before the big day arrived, mostly about how I see myself. I have always been overweight and I’ve had my confidence knocked. I knew I would never be the typical beautiful bride, but honestly, planning the wedding helped me so much overcome my fears and I learned to embrace who I was.”

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