Hey Kat! I’m getting married in September and have been stressing over The Bridesmaid Situation for a while now. So my question is, what’s the Rock n Roll version of a bridesmaid and what does she do?
As much as I love channelling Blair Waldorf it just seems a bit minion-y, like an on-display clique, since I don’t have an obvious set of BFFs and hate to “draw the line”. Help!
I’m going to let you in on a secret: There isn’t really any reason, other than tradition, for bridesmaids (or groomsmen for that matter). Allegedly, bridesmaids came about because in Roman times the law required female witnesses at the wedding, dressed similarly to the bride, in order to confuse the evil spirits who wanted to cast bad luck over the marriage. So there you go. Evil spirits and tradition maketh the maid.
Although lots of people make a very big deal out of choosing their wedding party, for the modern, non evil spirit fearing bride, the actual duties of a bridesmaid are pretty limited. They can still be a very useful commodity though as their main function is to assist you with the wedding planning.
They have a few main tasks, and depending on what kind of alternative wedding you’re having these things may or may not even be relevant to you.
1. To be there for the big events like dress shopping, centrepiece choosing and DIY crafternoons.
2. To be emotional supportive in times of pre-wedding crisis because let’s face it, this shit can be stressful.
3. To plan you a kick ass hen do/ bridal shower/ bachelorette party.
4. To wear something pretty, walk down the aisle with you, carry a bouquet and be in the pictures.
Karey and Ben flew over from London for a quickie Elvis wedding in Vegas and they brought their closest friends and family along for the ride! They planned the whole thing in just TWO WEEKS (yes, you read that right!) and kept the fact they were getting married secret from everybody back at home.
“We kept the actual event intimate and a secret so it was very important for us to share the photographs and video with everyone close to us after the wedding”, wrote the bride. “We didn’t want people to initially find out via social media, and since I work in tech, I put together a webpage curating all the documentation. We also sent out 200+ Vegas postcards with a custom web URL to friends and relatives all over the world! The response was so well received and really made those not there still feel like they were a part of the celebration.”
Mike and Emily were married at home. Their September wedding was Bavarian themed, inspired by their many trips to Germany! “We feel our wedding was pretty unique”, began the bride. “It was hard to find resources for a Bavarian wedding in America so we did so much ourselves and really enjoyed every minute of it. We had a biergarten, circus tents and live music from a variety of our talented friends all day and night. We called our theme a Bavarian street fair, and a fairytale meets Oktoberfest!”
“One of the best moments was the ceremony”, she explained. “As soon as we were pronounced husband and wife we partook in a German tradition of jointly cutting out the shape of a heart from a bed sheet, then jumping through it! Two of our friends played beautiful originals songs and the groom, who is a professional musician, also sang.”
There really is no other way to explain Lucy and Benjamin’s wedding. There are Alice in Wonderland weddings… and there are festival weddings… but mash them both together and imagine everyone in attendance has dropped acid and you’re maybe halfway there to how bonkers this wedding was! Their wedding photographer Lee Allen described it as the maddest wedding he’s ever been involved with… and you know what, I can totally see why!
“We met at a friend’s BBQ and the week after went to Reading Festival together so we wanted our wedding to have a festival feel”, explained the bride. “We wanted people to feel like they had been on a weird acid trip that couldn’t have been real when they left! It sort just took shape over time. We met Hamish Guerrini, the Druid Minister who officiated our ceremony, at his stage, The Rabbit Hole, at Glastonbury two months before the wedding. After we met him we completely changed the wedding theme to include him! We added the tunnels and different rooms for guests to be led into.”
Diamonds aren’t always a girl’s best friend. Whether it’s for ethical reasons, they’re just too damn expensive, or just because you really want something a bit more individual, there are so many alternative engagement rings to be found!
Here are some of my current favourites.
Moissanite engagement ring
Lapis Lazuli ring
Morganite and white sapphire engagement ring
Blue topaz, peridot, or red garnet rings
Pink tourmaline ring
Robert and Kerri wanted to marry on their own terms. That meant no big, flashy party or extra expense – just the two of them and a few witnesses. They chose to elope at Phoenix Municipal Court last April and spent just $1000 to do so.
“I wanted a 1960s style courthouse elopement”, wrote the bride. “I’ve always adored pictures of my grandparents courthouse wedding, particularly my grandmother’s mod above the knee dress. Both of us are atheist so a church wedding was out of the question, and I’ve never envisioned a large wedding with lots of family and friends. We wanted something quiet and private.”
“We each invited our closest friends to be our witnesses and didn’t tell any other friends or family until a few days later. We wanted it to be a day that celebrated our relationship and do away with all the big wedding plans that can add stress and anxiety. It was really wonderful having my best friend as our wedding photographer. She came over early in the day and took photographs of us in our house getting ready together, it was so special and intimate and we’re lucky that she could capture that for us.”