What Getting Divorced Taught Me About Marriage

What Getting Divorced Taught Me About Marriage_Katherine Killeffer for Rock n Roll Bride magazine (4)

It wasn’t until she separated from her husband that writer Gala Darling really started to learn about how to be happily married.

“Divorce is always good news. I know that sounds weird, but it’s true because no good marriage has ever ended in divorce. That would be sad. If two people were married and they just had a great thing and then they got divorced, that would be really sad. But that has happened zero times.” — Louis CK

I got divorced in 2015, and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done. That’s not to say that I regret getting married — simply that getting divorced was a very positive experience. In the past two years I have completely flourished, grown, and changed beyond my wildest dreams, and I’m also in a relationship with a man who fills my heart in a way I’ve never experienced before.

When my husband moved out, everything transformed. I had what I called “the summer of (radical self) love.” I travelled to Italy and Morocco with two of my best friends, I went out dancing all the time, I filled my house with flowers, and dressed up every day. I started dating and met a bunch of really great guys who made me feel like all was not lost. I began to reclaim and rediscover myself, my sexuality, and my identity.

It’s been a while now, and I’ve had time to unravel what caused my divorce. While it would be easy to point fingers and be accusatory, I think what it simply comes down to is the fact that we both married the wrong person. There were warning signs, of course, but when you’re young and your boyfriend proposes to you, it’s easy to ignore the signals. After all, getting married is exciting! Right?!

It’s a crazy thing, really. I never wanted to get married or have children. My desire was always to be independent: I wanted to travel the world, write books, maybe live in Europe, take lovers. Having someone else in the picture never really mattered much to me. And I had never fantasised about a wedding or a Cinderella-type dress. But somehow, when my then-boyfriend and I started talking about getting married, everything changed.

If I could go back in time, I would gently caution my younger self. I would pay attention to the fact that I was more excited about planning a wedding than I was about planning a life together. Instead of thinking about how “cool” our wedding photos would be, I wish I had thought about how our future would look. I would strip it back and take my time.

What Getting Divorced Taught Me About Marriage_Katherine Killeffer for Rock n Roll Bride magazine (7)

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Issue 14 in Shops Today!

issue 14 on sale

Photo: Enchanted Brides Photography

If you’re not a subscriber (if not, why not?! ha!) or you didn’t order your copy online last week, then be sure to hop skip and jump down to your nearest WHSmiths, Sainsburys or newsagent today because issue 14 is now available nationwide! You can see a little preview of what you’ll find inside over here.

If you can’t find a copy locally, don’t worry, you can still order one online and have it delivered straight to your door! We ship worldwide and UK delivery is completely and utterly free. Simply head over to our shop page to order a single copy or to subscribe so you never miss an issue. If you have missed any, you can order the available back issues over there too.

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Industrial & Botanical Vegan Wedding in New York

Brooklyn wedding at Greenpoint Loft_UNIQUE LAPIN Photorgraphy-48

Megan and Brad wanted their wedding to be a blend of natural, industrial and vintage, with a nod to the wabi-sabi aesthetic; the Japanese art of finding beauty in imperfection. They were inspired mostly by modern industrial and moody botanical styles. They also knew they wanted to get married in New York City, where they met and have lived for some time.

Brooklyn wedding at Greenpoint Loft_UNIQUE LAPIN Photorgraphy-24

“When we began researching venues we discovered the beautiful Greenpoint Loft only a few blocks from our apartment and knew that it was perfect for us,” said Megan. “We fell in love with the warm industrial aesthetic and the fact that we could totally create the wedding we’d envisioned in the open space. Plus, there was a perfect view of the NYC skyline from the windows and deck!”

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Wedding Budgeting Tips, Wedding Dresses Under £200 and Learn to Make Your Own Bridal Bouquet with Confetti Girls!

confetti girls

Have you subscribed to my YouTube channel yet!? If not, where have you BEEN!? Confetti Girls is a channel that I run with my friend Helen and it’s such a fun little passion project! We put out new videos every week and I’d love for you to join us.

If you haven’t subscribed yet you’ve been missing gems such as…

10 wedding budget saving tips!

Wedding cake chat with Choccywoccydoodah

Wedding dresses for under £200!

And yesterday’s video, where we learnt to make a bridal bouquet with Green Parlour.

There are now 13 videos on the channel (that’s over 100 hours of wedding goodness!) so why not grab a cuppa or a glass of wine and dive in?

Design the Alternative Wedding Ring You’ve Always Wanted with CustomMade

Design the Alternative Wedding Ring You've Always Wanted with CustomMade (7)

I don’t know about you, but looking for a truly unique engagement or wedding ring can be an almost impossible task. While there are plenty of awesome companies that do more alternative style rings and jewellery, getting something that loads of other alternative brides won’t have found too can be pretty tricky. Of course you can always go the vintage route, but what if you want something a bit more Rock n Roll than that?

Have you considered designing your own engagement or wedding ring? I bet you thought it was stupid expensive and difficult? Well it doesn’t have to be! Enter: CustomMade.

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Music and Art Inspired Brazilian Wedding with a Flash Mob!

Music and Art Inspired Brazilian Wedding with a Flash Mob! (17)

Mary and Caio lived next door to each other for twelve years before they had their first date! For their wedding they brought together everything they love; art, music, friends, family, décor and vintage. They had an art gallery of Mary’s paintings, an old Volkswagen in the fields, five bands (which had the groom playing in all of them!), friends leading their ceremony, craft beer, décor items from their house… and they partied for nine hours straight!

Music and Art Inspired Brazilian Wedding with a Flash Mob! (18)

“I’m a painter, just like my father and my grandfather,” began Mary, “so in the long corridor at the main entrance of our wedding venue, we hung up more than 40 paintings and turned it into an art gallery. We wanted the first impression people had of our wedding to be related to art and for them to get to know more about my family heritage. We also had 14 paintings inside the main dancing hall.”

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