Hayleigh and Scott had several reasons for wanting to keep their September 13th 2020 wedding date; not only is 13 their lucky number, but earlier in the year Hayleigh had some finishing touches added to her sleeve and filled a small gap with the wedding date in roman numerals… a few weeks later the world shut down completely! “I had a bit of a mild panic at the thought of potentially having the wrong date tattooed for life but it would have been a funny story and the crisis was averted by managing to go ahead anyway.”
Once they decided they were going to go ahead with a small ceremony on their date, they wracked their brains for different locations, eventually deciding that as home is their favourite place to be, they knew it could be nowhere else! They were surrounded by their favourite things, they totally stripped everything back down to being who they are – a no frills, metal couple! “We didn’t feel the need for fancy outfits or drinking champagne when we don’t even like it,” the bride explained. “It ended up feeling so much more natural and relaxed.”
What’s that snarky and also 200% true saying about traditions? They’re just peer pressure from dead people. And if we stuck to all the things ‘we’ve always done’, there’d still be six-year-old coal miners who smoke pipes, chain smokers on airplanes and people tuning in to Two and a Half Men.
While we’re often more than happy, nay, gleeful to chuck out traditions that are way past their use by date, when it comes to weddings it’s a different story. Even the most modern human persons begin to fret over what calamity will happen if they see their betrothed prior to the wedding ceremony, whether their future children will be born with tails if they forget to include ‘something blue’ on their person, or if there’ll be a plague on their house if mum AND dad walk them down the aisle.
It’s time to piss off these weird, superstitious traditions that have no meaning for you and go to work on what does feel meaningful. Because hot tip: The best weddings are not the ones with the most expensive Champagne – though who doesn’t like a bit of fancy plonk? – they’re the ones that really feel like the couple in question. The best weddings are the ones created with considered decisions that reflect them, rather than stuffy traditions they’ve been peer pressured into by living and dead people mind you, often with quite awful backstories of misogyny and the patriarchy gone mad.
So, let’s chat about traditions that ought to get in the bin.
The world works in funny ways; a mutual friend showed Dóra a photo of his tattoo artist, Krisztián. A few days later, Dóra took a train to visit this friend, and Krisztián, who had never heard of Dóra before, spotted her at the ticket booth and decided to sit next to her on the train. “I immediately recognised him,” the bride told us, “as at the time he had a red beard, long hair and enough tattoos for a whole village.” A three-hour train journey later and they became firm friends. “What’s even more serendipitous about this story is that my mum and dad met on a train, too!”
When asked to describe their wedding theme, Krisztián called it “pure fucking rock ’n roll,” and we’re hastened to agree. “We both love rock ’n roll, and we wanted a day that reflected us. So we took an unusual path, and came up with a middle ground between a formal wedding and something more rockabilly. We kept the traditions we liked, and implemented some new concepts that we thought the guests would like too. In Hungary, wedding are almost 100% conservative, and based on the response from our guests, they seem to like the the not-so formal things we planned. Even our elderly relatives appreciated the tattoo corner!”
We don’t feature styled shoots that often here at Rock n Roll Bride any more, far preferring the real details involved from your gorgeous wedding days, but when something this dreamy lands in our inbox, we can’t resist! Husband and wife team The Chamberlins have longed to shoot a celestial-themed set-up for a long time; Celle is obsessed with all things starry and both her and Will feel a deep spiritual connection to the heavens due to their faith. They told us; “we wanted to celebrate the beauty, the freedom and the vastness of the skies by arranging a celestial-themed styled shoot.”
Their main priority was the dress – they knew they didn’t want any other gown other than the Aurora Borealis gown by Romanian designers and Rock n Roll Bride faves, Chotronette. “For us, the dress epitomised a glorious dusky sky with its soft pastel tones combined with the sparkles of the stars,” Celle told us. “We specifically wanted to steer away from darker tones that one can often associate with the night-sky and instead, play on the dusky colours that preempt the darkness and reflects a different type of otherworldly feeling.”
Heidi and Louis met while in the cast of Romeo and Juliet with the Shakespeare Institute Players. Heidi was Romeo, Louis was Paris – she killed him nightly for the love of Juliet. A standard romance, then! A lot of people asked the couple if their wedding would be Midsummer Night’s Dream themed, but they just wanted to have colour, whimsy and a sense of play. Shakespeare just happened to show up a lot!
They planned their July wedding in less than four months, while being on separate continents, after being long distance for over a year. “As a cross-continental couple, it would be more than another year before we were reunited permanently,” the bride told us. “It meant any decision that was too complicated, anything that was too expensive, anything that would have taken too long, we cut. Nothing was extraneous, so what we ended up with was simple, fun, perfect.”
Bridesmaids have been getting a bum rap recently. A modern bridesmaid wears many hats. Party planner, counsellor, keeper of secrets… Let’s be honest, they’re basically a one-woman version of the Queer Eye team, and for that, I fucking salute them!
But when did these close friends go from ladies who turn up to the church on the day in a nice dress (exactly what our mother’s bridesmaids would have done) to pre-wedding slave friends? Emotional punching bags that organise everything from strippers to destination getaways, people who by some people’s measures are expected to go into debt to pay for a dress and talk you off a ledge when the napkins that you ordered are delivered without the lacy imprint?
I am hoping you aren’t that kind of bride (of course you aren’t, you’re a Rock n Roll bride!), but the evolution of the bridesmaid has been swift, and I think rather brutal.
In ye olden times, a large group of bridesmaids provided an opportunity for showing off the bride’s families social status and wealth – the more you had, the higher up the ladder you were. The bridesmaid tradition originated from Roman law, which required ten witnesses at a wedding to outsmart evil spirits believed to attend marriage ceremonies (otherwise known as your future mother-in-law! Boom-tish! Sorry). The bridesmaids and ushers dressed in identical clothing to the bride and groom, so that the evil spirits wouldn’t know who was getting married. So, it has a bit of history.
Many of our modern wedding rituals are based on traditions, superstitions and social oddities. When you break them down, they are fairly naff. Unless you’re part of the Kardashian clan (and even that’s a stretch), you’re probably not focused on the symbolism and social hierarchy of the bridal party and the only evil spirit that may mar your day is tequila.