Although we share all kinds of details about our day to day lives, from what we’re planning for dinner to holiday snaps, Gareth and I make a conscious effort to keep the really personal stuff offline. At a glance, it can seem as though our whole lives are documented for all to see, but it’s really only the trivial stuff that gets put out there. A few pictures of our cats walking on their leads doesn’t actually reveal a great deal about us as a couple. The real story is in the detail like how we agreed, together, to get two maine coons, for example.
I feel somewhat exposed doing this but I’m diving right in to a ten part series covering some of the most important love lessons Gareth and I have learnt since becoming husband and wife. We’ll be sharing some of the mistakes we made as well as some of the break-through moments that we’ve had. But most importantly I really want to give you the opportunity to think about these things and hopefully discuss them with your partner afterwards.
I know that if I was where you are right now this is the kind of content I would have really loved to see from a wedding blogger. After all, your wedding is just one day, it’s all the days after you say “I do” which really matter.
1. On Selfishness
As human beings we are intrinsically selfish. We naturally think about ourselves first but when you’re married you need to consider the other person’s feelings just as much as, if not more than, your own. It’s no longer about looking out for number one or having your own goals and life path, it’s about the two of you thinking and acting as a team.
Although in many ways Gareth and I are really similar – our outlook on life and our plans for the future – in others our tastes couldn’t be more different. I love sushi and Thai food, he prefers burgers and chips. I like nothing better than sitting down to a True Blood or 24 marathon, he detests any kind of American drama. My idea of a perfect Saturday is raiding the aisles of Topshop and H&M, he hasn’t bought himself any new clothes in years… You get the picture.
It might sound obvious but when you promise yourselves to each other for life you need to consider the other person’s feelings in everything you do, much more so than you would have while dating. Let’s be honest, you’re going to be with this person forever – you need to make sure you’re both happy!
Danny and Victoria didn’t have a grand plan or theme in mind for their wedding. They started with the colours red and purple and then simply picked things they liked – luckily it all came together brilliantly. The bride even dyed her hair purple to match!
“I had always said that I would have a purple wedding dress and right up until I walked down the aisle Danny still thought it was going to be purple”, Victoria began. “However I couldn’t find a purple dress that wasn’t tacky so I ended up with a white one. Although I loved my dress I wanted to add a non-traditional spin so I wore a skull tiara, bracelet, earrings and necklace from Mikey.”
“I also bought studded shoes for me and the bridesmaids too. Danny thought I was mad but I wanted to show something of my personality and I was really pleased with how it all looked together. I knew what I wanted as the bridesmaids dresses but couldn’t find anything suitably unusual anywhere. In the end I bought a 1950s Vogue pattern from eBay and had the dresses handmade. Everybody thought I was mad choosing red and purple as a colour theme too but it really worked. We also had a casino at the evening reception which was really fun.”
Photography: Jenny Van Sommers
If I’m being honest I don’t have much to report this week. It’s been one of those kind of nothingy weeks. The crappy weather hasn’t helped really either has it? When it’s chucking it down outside all I want to do is put my slippers on and slurp endless cups of tea. Oh yes I really am the epitome of ROCK N ROLL!
Luckily I have had the time to keep up to date with my favourite blogs though. Enjoy!
Weddings & Weddingy Things
♥ Rainforest waterfall elopement
♥ Colourful Foresthill wedding
♥ A wedding cake in disguise
♥ 1950s seaside wedding
♥ Drag king burlesque wedding
Photography: Nate Gowdy Photography
Lauren and Red’s Pennsylvania wedding was a real team effort. It planned by the bride, her mother and their neighbour Patience. The wedding was held on the couple’s own farm. ”Patience taught us how to make homemade limoncello and smoked salmon and helped so much during the wedding making sure things ran smoothly”, Lauren explained. “My mother is a crazy collector of beautiful dishes, as well as ideas. She is also a food connoisseur so she helped add tons of vision and plan the menu. Patience’s daughter got married the weekend before so we were able to share a lot of supplies and ideas which worked out very well as well as work trade. My mother in-law Eva planned the rehearsal dinner which also happened to be my birthday. She created a picnic outdoor super with barbecue chicken for 45 two days before the wedding. She also helped decorate!”
This wedding was full on DIY with the bride and her helpers making everything from the decor items to the clothes. Lauren made her own wedding dress from vintage and upcycled materials and the bridesmaid’s dresses were made using hand dyed vintage handkerchiefs which matched the invitations.
Although times they are a-changing, gay and lesbian couples have been long overlooked in the wedding industry. While there are many amazing wedding suppliers that cater for and love to work with same-sex couples, there has yet to be a really cool, all inclusive wedding event that all engaged couples – no matter their preferences – can go to and feel comfortable and accepted. Sure, there have been a few magazines and events dedicated to gay weddings, but (and I hate to say it) but most of the ones I’ve seen have been slightly cheesy and erring on the side of tacky.
So as you can imagine I whooped with glee when my friend Becky of the Most Curious Wedding Fair told me she was organising a cool, stylish and edgy wedding fair for gay and lesbian couples alongside Sara Smyth of Ruby+Diva bridal boutique. Both of these babes know what’s up when it comes to fashion-forward, edgy and achingly cool wedding stuff and I couldn’t think of anyone better qualified to tackle this uncharted territory.
I’m pretty sure there is no couple in the world that could possibly come close to being as awesome as Ainsley and Sebastien. This is one of those engagement shoots that as soon as I saw it I was dying to see the wedding already, wondering what they could possibly do to top these photos.
Shot by the incredible Janneke Storm (she’s shooting The Blogcademy: Brisbane in November! I can’t wait to meet her!) who takes her inspiration from fashion photography, this is an engagement shoot to end all engagement shoots. Why? Because Sebastien actually proposed during the session!