I’m autistic and finding wedding planning really overstimulating. Do you have any advice for making the process feel calmer and more manageable?

Snap! I’m AuDHD, and wedding planning felt like sensory overload disguised as decision-making. Too much noise, too much contradiction, too much choice. It genuinely felt like ten thousand beige-coloured high-speed trains arriving at the station all at once.

What helped me at times when it felt too much, was stripping everything right back. Stepping away when I needed to, recentring, and reaffirming what we wanted as a couple. Once you can see that clearly again, the rest gets calmer and more manageable.

Every supplier we see online seems amazing… but I’ve also heard horror stories. How do we figure out who’s actually right for us, who’s going to do what they say they will? We don’t have time for months and months of researching!

There’s a lot of pressure to become a part-time detective when you’re planning a wedding – to read every review, stalk every Instagram account and compare 127 versions of the same service. So yes, at some point, it really does start to feel like a full-time job.

My main piece of advice would just be to pay attention to how interacting with them makes you feel.

Do they reply when they say they will? Do they answer your actual questions rather than sending a generic copy-and-paste response? Do they seem excited by your ideas or do you feel like you’re inconveniencing them? Do you leave the conversation feeling understood, or more confused than when you started?

That is how you build trust and while nothing is ever guaranteed, if you are also reading the reviews, looking at lots of examples of their work and getting a good idea of who they are by following them on social media, you’re doing everything you can!

And remember, you’re not hiring a stranger. You’re choosing people to be part of one of the most important days of your life. It’s okay to be picky.

I’ve booked a lot of things online already and now I’m panicking that I made rushed decisions. Is it still worth going to wedding fairs and meeting suppliers in person? And if so, do you have any advice on how we can get the best out of the day? I don’t want to leave feeling even more overwhelmed!

For me, connecting in person and being able to look people in the eyes feels safe and reassuring. Like, ‘I see the person, I trust the person, they ‘get me’, or maybe they don’t – and that’s the true value.

Wedding fairs are about connection – the ideal place to get hands-on with suppliers, sense things out, and reaffirm decisions.

And if you are thinking of changing your mind, always remember that decisions are made at a point in time, with the information and feelings you had at that moment. You don’t need to panic just because your perspective has evolved since then – have an open and honest conversation with your suppliers about it, who undoubtedly want to help.

We’ve booked almost all our suppliers now, but we’re planning the day without a wedding planner. Do you have any advice for organising the logistics of the day and also creating a timeline that leaves room to enjoy ourselves?

My honest answer? Letting go of control = presence. You’ve done the hard part planning your wedding – this is the one day to be entirely there in body, mind, and soul. Hand over on-the-day coordination to someone you know and trust; the organisers of the family, the ‘project manager by profession’ friend, or a wedding coordinator you align with. You’ll thank me later.

About the Author

Hayley Khorasani is the founder of The Scottish Wedding Unconvention, an alternative wedding fair and community celebrating weddings, connection, and colour. After accidentally falling into the wedding industry eight years ago, she’s spent her career helping weird and wonderful people just like her create weddings that feel genuinely like them – no set templates, no polished aesthetics, simply true to you.

Their next events are taking place at Old Fruitmarket Glasgow on 25 October 2026 and Biscuit Factory Edinburgh on 25 April 2027. Get your tickets here. Rockstar ticket holders also get a copy of Rock n Roll Bride magazine in their goody bags!