If you’re reading Rock n Roll Bride, its highly likely that you had an emo phase… but that actually it wasn’t a phase at all. You’re probably still loving all things checkerboard, wearing too much black eyeliner and internally debating whether you’re team Vans or team Converse.

If you love the idea of an emo themed wedding then read on because here’s how you can pull it off without it just becoming a mid-2000s costume party.

Decide What Emo Means to You

The term covers everything from early post-hardcore and Midwest emo to pop-punk crossovers, MCR theatrics and the “scene” style of the late 2000s.

Start by gathering references from the bands, albums, venues and fashion that you both love. Definitely look beyond just wedding content. Old gig posters, music videos, album artwork, tour merchandise and photographs from club nights will give you a really clear direction and make it feel more authentic, too.

Then choose a few recurring ideas rather than trying to include every possible reference.

Build Your Colour Palette

Black remains the obvious foundation, but it does not have to end there. You could add oxblood, deep purple, silver, dirty pink, neon green or bright red. Pick two or three main colours and repeat them across your stationery, flowers, outfits and table settings to keep the styling cohesive.

Choose the Right a Venue

An emo themed wedding just isn’t going to hit the same in a stately home or golf club as it will in a music venue, an old theatre or a warehouse. A blank canvas like a photography studio or village hall can work too, especially if you bring in a stage, lighting and lots of DIY décor ideas. Ask potential venues about live music, sound limits, finish times and decoration restrictions before booking.

Design Invitations Like Gig Ephemera

Your invitations offer the first opportunity to establish the theme to your guests so why not design them to look like gig tickets, photocopied zines, album sleeves or posters from a fictional tour? There are even companies who make music inspired lanyards and wristbands for weddings.

Wear Something That Feels Like You

A black wedding dress or suit with accents of skulls, spikes, chains and ted tartan is a great place to start. Add platform boots, a coloured veil and leather jackets to compete the look. Black isn’t the only option though. A white dress styled with heavy eyeliner, scuffed Converse and a long coloured veil can just look as alternative. And your tattoos are the best accessory!

Start with clothes you already enjoy wearing and push the idea further. A wedding outfit should feel connected to your usual style rather than assembled from somebody else’s checklist of alternative fashion.

Treat the Music Like a Headline Act

Choose songs connected to different points in your history together. Include the tracks you screamed in nightclubs, played during long car journeys and sent each other when saying the actual words felt impossible.

Your ceremony entrance could use an acoustic or orchestral version of a favourite song. The reception can move from emotional singalongs into a full pop-punk club night. A live band will add the atmosphere of a gig, particularly if they can build a set around the music you love.

Ask guests to submit requests with their RSVPs or create a playlist spanning several eras of emo, pop-punk and post-hardcore.

Decorate With Records, Lyrics and Gig Posters

Pull inspiration from teenage bedrooms and record shops rather than conventional wedding styling. Stack old amps beside the ceremony backdrop. Display vinyl records, framed lyrics, battered gig tickets and photographs from your younger years. Disco balls always have a place, too.

You could create centrepieces from black taper candles, metallic tableware, dark foliage or red flowers. Use guitar picks as place cards and old band posters can become table numbers.

Utilising vinyl, CDs or cassette tapes is another good way to establish the theme. You can use them as table markers, on the table plan or even as a guest book for everyone to sign.

Avoid buying piles of generic wedding decorations simply because they’re black. Personal memorabilia will give the day much more character.

Choose Flowers With Some Drama

Flowers can lean dark and unruly, with anthuriums, calla lilies, roses, amaranthus and twisted branches. Add dried foliage, berries, feathers or metallic elements for more texture.

A bouquet made from dried flowers, fabric, chains, paper lyrics or brooches can work too. Your flowers do not need to communicate “emo” on their own. The colours, containers and styling around them will make the connection.

Give the Cake a Subtle Emo Twist

A black wedding cake, blood-red piping or a heart-shaped vintage cake will fit the mood. Ask your cake designer about silver details, dark cherries, handwritten lyrics or decoration inspired by a favourite album cover.

Add Details From Your Own Lives

The strongest ideas will come from your own relationship with the music and emo culture. Why not frame a setlist from the first gig you attended together, name a cocktail after the song playing when you met or wear the band T-shirt you bought on your first date during the reception?

You could also display photographs from your teenage years, give guests custom guitar picks as favours or create a wedding newspaper styled like a music zine.

And just remember, it was never a phase. It was always part of you, and your wedding should be too.