It’s not a very sexy topic (the important things rarely are!) but working out how the two of you will run your home together is crucial. Of course the likelihood is that most of you probably already live together before you get married but that doesn’t mean that this isn’t something you should still discuss before walking down the aisle.
8. Housework, DIY & Everything in Between
I hate housework… and cleaning… and tidying… and DIY. In fact I’m always joking that I’m a “terrible wife”. The roles are very much reversed in our house, with me earning the money and him, for the most part, looking after the home. Even before I started my own business I was always the main breadwinner in our house so this set up isn’t weird for us. However it could have caused problems if we didn’t sit down and discuss it before we got married.
Having set jobs for each partner works really well for us. It means we never have the “Will you empty this dishwasher?”, “No why should I? I did it last time” argument because it’s always Gareth’s job. Of course I do some of the domestic chores (he’s not a saint!) but because we already know who’s are who’s, the arguments about them are few and far between.
Obviously we don’t always get it right. I’ve been wanting Gareth to decorate or living room forever but it’s just not happening. Life gets in the way… we’re busy… there are always other things that need doing… you know the drill. However while it’s nice to keep on top of all these tasks, it is important to realise that at the end of the day it is just a house. It’s just a bit of ugly carpet or a few dirty dishes. In the grand scheme of things it’s really not that big a deal.
If the chores aren’t kept completely on top of it might be frustrating but it’s not the end of the world. There are options – you can hire a cleaner or decorator, you can just accept that you’ll have to do it all yourself, or you can simply let it go. I prefer to take the latter option. Life’s too short to be arguing about dust and crumbs.
Our house may not be a palace, but it keeps our little family safe and warm, and in the long run that’s really all that matters.
This is part eight of my ten part Marriage Mantras series. If you’ve missed them be sure to catch up on the previous articles too.
- Photography: Assassynation