Category Archives: Guest Posts

The “Fuck It!” Bucket

June 29, 2018 in Guest Posts, Wedding Planning Advice. Written by Kat Photos by Epic Love Stoty

Stressed out with wedding planning? Aleisha McCormack of The Bridechilla Podcast is here to show you how to throw all that wed-stress into the Fuck It Bucket!

There’s something pretty freaking empowering about saying no to things that you thought you needed but you don’t.

To get married, you really only need three things: you, your partner, and someone to marry you. That’s it. All of the other stuff is fun (and sometimes unnecessary) icing on the cake and those extras are often the things that stress us out the most.

The concept of being a Bridechilla, well my interpretation, is all about simplifying the wedding planning process and removing all of the extra tasks, stress, and stuff that we’ve been told over and over again that we need when in reality, they are entirely optional. It’s about enjoying the process and focusing on what matters the most… that you’ve found your fellow weirdo and you and that weirdo are planning an awesome party together.

The concept of the fuck it bucket isn’t new (people have been putting stuff in it for years!), however in this instance I was inspired by a Reddit/Weddit thread, where couples listed all of the details and worries that they were going to ditch. My interpretation of the Bridechilla fuck it bucket is that it is a magical vessel where all of your wedding expectations, tasks, and unfinished DIY projects go.

The fuck it bucket (FIB for short) comes in handy when disposing of the things that you initially thought were important, but six months (or six minutes) in you realise aren’t worth it. It can include traditions, expectations, trends, gifts and well-intentioned DIY projects can all find a new home in the FIB. Everyone’s FIB contains different things, and that is A-OK.

Recently a wedding planner I had as a guest on the Bridechilla Podcast suggested that we should reverse the process by putting everything in the FIB to start with and by doing this only retrieving things that are really important. Start simple and add-on. Here are but a few suggestions of things that you can place in the FIB and watch burn.

EXTRA WEDDING EVENTS

The day after party/brunch/lunch can be an excellent way to share some more time with your guests, but like many wedding-related events, they can also feel like an extra production. What used to be just “Let’s meet for a brunch or a BBQ,” has turned into “Let’s plan a third wedding.” Some people create fully catered events with staff and fancy china – who has the time? (or the budget?) If you are keen to host a day-after event but lack time and money to organise it, consider asking your in-laws or extended family to host the event (which is a great job to pass on, especially if they are keen to help). If you just want to call it a day at the end of your wedding and go home or off to a honeymoon somewhere delicious, then chuck the day-after events straight into the FIB and move on with your life.

GIFTS, GIFTS AND MORE GIFTS

One of my favourite things to chuck straight in the FIB is gifts.

Gifts for the bridal, gifts for the parents, gifts for the driver that drove you to the venue. I mean, we seem a little bit obsessed with giving people gifts. Don’t get me wrong; I love gifts – I love receiving gifts, I love giving gifts. But at the moment, we are going through a gift-giving renaissance. And the renaissance needs to end because The Bridechilla community is swamped with messages from Chillas saying:

I don’t know what to give this person as a gift.
I feel stressed about having to find a gift.
I haven’t got time to think about a gift.
Do I need to give them a gift?
How much should I spend on the gift?
When should I give them the gift?
Do I need to give them a gift to say, “Would you be in my bridal party?”
Do I need to give them a gift to say, “Thanks for organising”?

No! Stop it! Stop with the gifts. It stresses me out, man. And again, it’s like the gift bag. The thought is lovely, but no one’s going to judge you, or think any less of you, if you don’t give them a special wine bottle with a personalised label that says “Will you be my bridesmaid?” And another special box of perfume to say “Thank you for being my bridesmaid.” A card, or something handwritten and delightful, is perfect and much more personalised and thoughtful, especially if you’re on a budget. Excess gifts are in the FIB now.

The “Fuck It!” Bucket

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There’s something pretty freaking empowering about saying no to things that you thought you needed but you don’t.

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June 29, 2018

Ten Questions to Ask Your Wedding Videographer

October 6, 2017 in Guest Posts, Wedding Planning Advice. Written by Kat Photos by Costa Sister Productions

Following on from our ten questions to ask your wedding photographer article, I thought carrying on the series with other suppliers would be helpful. So here’s some things you should to run by a potential videographer before you book. They might do similar a job on the day to a stills photographer, but there are lots of other things to consider. I’m handing over to the Costa Sister Productions for this one.

It’s so important that you pick a videographer that not only captures the vibes of your day the way you envision it, but also feels like you have a friend capturing it. The results will blow you away if your styles match and you are comfortable together.

1. Will your video style compliment my wedding?
There are tons of wedding videography styles knockin’ about, you really gotta hunt the internet to discover what’s going to work for you. Every videographer will have their own niche: cinematic, alternative, vintage etc.. We suggest to dig in and have a good look at a few examples. Does the style of videography your enquiring with compliment you as a couple and suit the vibes of your day? Because ultimately you’ll get the best outcome if your wedding matches their style.

2. What is your approach to the day?
Find out if your videographer has a formal or informal approach. Some will capture your day naturally and candidly, where as others might go for a something more staged. Which do you guys feel more comfortable with?

You could also use this opportunity to find out what kind of equipment you should expect your videographer to be working with. We work handheld, but we know lots of videographers who use rigs, drones and tripods. There’s no wrong or right way, but it’s good to be informed as it could influence your day.

3. Can you recommend any photographers?
Photography is usually one of the first suppliers that gets sorted, but sometimes we get to recommend some badass photographers that we know compliment our style. This is a big one because choosing a good videographer/photographer combo will really help the day run smoothly. We think it’s important that the styles of both compliment each other so they can work together as a team on the day.

4. What package is best for me?
Have a little peek at what packages are available, see what works within your budget. Find out if your can upgrade at a later date to a bigger package. This is also your chance to get informed on what the packages include, are there extra fees for travel and accommodation etc.

5. How many hours will you be there?
This ties in with packages, if your videographer is going to be there for set hours, are you fitting everything you want captured into those hours? You may need to book them for extra hours if not. Also keep in mind things can easily run over time on your day.

Ten Questions to Ask Your Wedding Videographer

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Following on from our ten questions to ask your wedding photographer article, I thought carrying on the series with other suppliers would be helpful. So here’s some things you should to run by a potential videographer before you book. They might do similar a job on the day to a stills photographer, but there are lots of other things […]

Continue reading...

October 6, 2017

Alternative Wedding Songs For Loved-Up Weirdos

August 28, 2017 in Guest Posts, Wedding Planning Advice. Written by Kat Photos by Love & Adventures

Lame wedding music gives us the sads. It’s not easy to find love songs that stand out from typical lovey-dovey wedding crap. If it’s not teeth-rotting candy, it’s done-to-death repeats from internet wedding song lists. If you’ve got an allergy to clichéd wedding songs, you’ll find the antidote here. Startling as it may seem, there are plenty of interesting wedding songs if you know where to look. We’ve put together a list of quirky, alternative and authentic songs for daring lovers. It’s taken some intensive research and lot of late night wine and dancing, but it was worth it.

We hope you enjoy folks, and there’s a spotify playlist to make your life easier.

QUIRKY, CUTESY LOVE

Let’s start with the cutest indie movie in existence, Juno. On the soundtrack you’ll find a humble folk ditty called All I Want Is You, and we’re definitely not talking about U2. Barry Louis Polisar writes children’s music, and he almost didn’t release this song on his 1977 album. But we’re so glad he did, and so glad Juno’s director stumbled upon it and used it in the film’s opening credits. It makes a perfect upbeat recessional, and also happens to sound great played on a banjo.

If you’re a Lou Reed fan, Perfect Day would be a likely wedding choice. It’s a great song, but it’s been done to death. For something a little quirkier and lesser known, try The Velvet Underground’s I’m Sticking With You. First recorded in 1969, it’s a cutesy and childlike duet with a retro tinge.

And while we’re on the topic of all things innocent, husband and wife duo The White Stripes offer this perfect lullaby, We’re Going To Be Friends. Feel like you’ve heard it before? That’s because it featured in the opening credits of Napoleon Dynamite. It’s just over 2 minutes of childhood, sweetheart folk, perfect for a non-traditional first dance.

If you’re after something with a bit more country twang, Truckstop Honeymoon have the answer. All heart and no bull, their song Johnny & June spells out a forever plan. Not only the good times, but the hard times, and how we’re gonna sort ‘em out like Johnny Cash & June Carter. Cash was famously quoted on his six-word summary of paradise being “This morning, with her, having coffee.” And that’s a kind of love worth celebrating.

It’s girly, cutesy and quirky to the max. How is it even possible this song hasn’t been slathered all over an Apple ad yet? Thank goodness it hasn’t, because this number is wedding-perfecto, and there’s a good chance you won’t hear it at your besties wedding. Adorable weirdo Tessa Violet is a Youtube vlogger and songwriter, and this gorgeous admission of love entitled Just Right couldn’t be sweeter. I mean, for gawd’s sake, it’s even played on a ukulele!

But if you’re more dark quirky than cutesy pop, you might want to check out indie folk band The Mountain Goats. Their song Love Love Love walks through a dark, confronting case history of love’s mysterious manifestations. Lead singer John Darnielle explained in an interview “love can eat a path through everything… it will destroy a lot of things on the way to its own objective”. This song is a message “in the hopes of undoing a lot of what I perceive as terrible damage in the way people talk about this–love is this benign, comfortable force. It’s not that. It’s wild, you know?”

YOU DON’T HAVE TO SAY YOU LOVE ME

I wuv woo schmoopy bear. Ew. Take your gross love fest elsewhere, right? Not all of us want to shout gushy sentiments from the rooftops. In fact, some of us are ‘anti-lovers’. Which makes it challenging to find a wedding song when you’re marrying the person you… ahem, “love”. Beck has the solution for you. Bring some playfulness to the unconventional wedding with Think I’m In Love; for couples who are down with ‘together forever’, but aren’t so sure they’re ready for the big L word. Ha!

Fellow mermaids, rejoice! For here is your siren love song. Laura Marling doesn’t sing with her heart on her sleeve. She has said in interviews, she doesn’t make her music to be known. The shy, introverted and private amongst us can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that the most romantic of wedding songs can be a simple sea shanty like Crawled Out Of The Sea. Lyrically, it’s nothing more than the glorious building repetition of the words “You crawled out of the sea, straight into my arms..” but oh, is it divine…

What if you want to tell your sweetheart you love the pants off them without using the L word? M Ward knows what you mean, and he’s found the perfect way of saying it (without saying it). Never Had Nobody Like You clearly expresses fondness, but holds back on the over-the-top sentiments. Nicely done and nostalgic vibed.

Do you even need to mention the topic of love? We say nay! Thanks to The Sures, an indie surf pop band from Sydney, Australia, your wedding song can be love-free. It can be a melodic explosion of sunshine, sea, waves of lulling reverb and fuzzy guitars. The Sun brings a 1950s style, Beach Boys vibe. And you might remember it from that glorious slow-mo moment on Broad City when Abbi meets Jeremy in the hall..

Sparse, echoing and feminine, Flatlands is a masterpiece of non-verbal romance. Chelsea Wolfe blends dark, doomy folk with delicate phrasing and enchanting vocals. A serious choice without overstepping the mark on lovey lyrics. And what’s even better, Mark Lanegan has covered it. Both are on the accompanying playlist. And there’s no reason you can’t have your wedding band serenade you with a harmony-rich duet version.

Speaking of great male/female vocals, we can’t go past the perfect blend of Josh Homme and PJ Harvey on Make It Wit Chu. This sexy number first appeared on The Desert Sessions, where Homme gathered his rockstar mates to make sweet, sweet recordings. It was later rerecorded as Queens Of The Stone Age. Both versions are pretty similar, so we’ve picked the original for your playlist, because PJ Harvey on backing vocals. ‘Nuff said.

Alternative Wedding Songs For Loved-Up Weirdos

💡

Lame wedding music gives us the sads. It's not easy to find love songs that stand out from typical lovey-dovey wedding crap. If it's not teeth-rotting candy, it's done-to-death repeats from internet wedding song lists. If you've got an allergy to clichéd wedding songs, you'll find the antidote here. Startling as it may seem, there are plenty of interesting wedding songs if you know where to look. We've put together a list of quirky, alternative and authentic songs for daring lovers. It’s taken some intensive research and lot of late night wine and dancing, but it was worth it. We hope you enjoy folks, and there’s a spotify playlist to make your life easier.

Continue reading...

August 28, 2017

The Last Five Years in LGBTQ Wedding Planning

June 14, 2017 in Guest Posts, Wedding Planning Advice. Written by Kat

Photo: Megan Melia

To celebrate Pride Month in the US, Kate Schaefer, founder and editor of the fantastic LGBTQ wedding planning resource, H&H Weddings, is here to discuss how she’s seen LGBTQ planning change over her past five years in the industry.

The year was 2012. I was a 20-something-year-old intern, sitting at my desk in Brooklyn, essentially rolling my eyes at the Huffington Post piece I was reading. This bride-to-be was venting about how she, as a lesbian, had no resources for planning her wedding. “This is nuts”, I thought. And then I started doing some research because, let’s be honest, I wasn’t actually doing anything else.

As it turns out, the only part about the situation that was nuts was the fact that the bride-to-be was 100% right. The only same-sex/LGBTQ+ wedding resources looked like they had been designed in 1992. I decided to change that.

At the time, my knowledge of weddings was based off of the three or so episodes of Say Yes To The Dress that I had seen. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I was determined to get something going. LGBTQ+ folks deserved a beautiful, useful blog where they could go to see themselves, not just a straight wedding blog that occasionally featured a Ken & Ken/Barbie & Barbie-like couple.

Since 2012, I’ve seen many changes in the LGBTQ+ wedding space. People (on all parts of the spectrum) are choosing to make their ceremonies more and more personal. Five years ago, it often felt like a couple was just taking the hetero wedding mold and plugging themselves into the equation, which meant that, frequently, one member of the couple ended up being labelled the ‘bride’ and the other the ‘groom’ despite the fact that that (obviously) wasn’t the case.

Photo: Cristal Veronica

The ceremony

We’ve featured hundreds of weddings on H&H Weddings and we’ve seen couples walk with each other down aisles, we’ve seen circular ceremony set ups, we’ve seen couples walk down aisles, simultaneously, towards each other. One of my favourite ever ceremonies we shared was Zoe & Lil’s outdoor ceremony. They set up a circle around them so that, while they said their vows, they were surrounded by friends and family!

We’ve seen people dance and cry and laugh while walking down the aisle. We’ve seen people write their own vows and even sing their vows. The long and the short of it? Do whatever the fuck you want. It’s your wedding. No one knows your love like you, why not express it how it feels best?

The wedding party

We have also seen big changes in wedding party set ups. We’ve shared weddings with huge wedding parties and no wedding parties. We have seen wedding parties made up of all gender identities (straight couples, take note on this one! Why would a bride’s brother stand on her husband’s side of the wedding party?!)

The outfits

One of my favourite ways that couples get creative these days is attire! I used to feel like I saw a lot of uncomfortable brides in dresses because that’s what they felt like they were supposed to do. It was as if you had to options as a bride: 1. Wear a dress or 2. Wear an ill-fitting Men’s Warehouse suit that was frumpy.

Now, there are a ton of suiting companies that cater to people of all gender identities and expressions such as Bindle & Keep, Kipper Clothiers, Duchess Clothiers and Sharpe Suiting (just to name a few!). Another favourite of ours is House of Ollichon. They do wedding attire without a single dress in sight! Such a breath of fresh air! As well, couples are wearing a plethora of colours, jumpsuits, rompers, suiting combinations, shorts, dresses, skirts, really, whatever makes them feel their best, which is exactly what we like to see.

Photo: Rachelle Derouin Photography

The Last Five Years in LGBTQ Wedding Planning

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Photo: Megan Melia To celebrate Pride Month in the US, Kate Schaefer, founder and editor of the fantastic LGBTQ wedding planning resource, H&H Weddings, is here to discuss how she’s seen LGBTQ planning change over her past five years in the industry. The year was 2012. I was a 20-something-year-old intern, sitting at my desk in Brooklyn, essentially rolling my eyes […]

Continue reading...

June 14, 2017

Planning a Wedding with Accessibility in Mind

April 17, 2017 in Guest Posts, Paid Partnership. Written by Kat Photos by Ella Sophie

Preparing for one of the biggest days of your life can be as testing as it can be exciting, what with the multitude of things to think about. If you’re not organising the venue, you’re dreaming up your wedding invitations. If you’re not debating a dress with your mother, you’re talking your groom-to-be’s best man down from any eccentric goings on.

Additional accessibility needs can then add to your list of things to consider. Whether it’s you, your partner, or even some of your guests that require additional accessibility or mobility aids, making sure your wedding is suited to the needs of those attending is a must, to really make the most of the special day.

While accessibility has become a hot topic of conversation recently, there are still a number of locations and venues associated with weddings, that fail to provide enough accessible options to make your day as comfortable for everyone as possible. As such, mobility aid providers, Ability Superstore, have provided a few words of wisdom to help you plan your wedding with accessibility in mind.

Save the dates will come in handy

You’re engaged! Congratulations! There aren’t many occasions that make you feel as giddy as you do when your other half pops the question. Now, while you might think that sending a few save the date cards are just to let your nearest and dearest know when you plan on getting wed, you could in fact use it to find out about any accessibility needs.

Even if you don’t require any additional accessibility yourself, you might find that some of your guests might. With this in mind, create your guest list filled with those closest to you, and start filling in those ‘save the date’ cards. If you’re having your cards designed, you could add in a section that asks your guests if they have any accessibility needs. That way, you’re prepared well in advance, before the official invitations go out and before you have decided on your venue.

Don’t forget the plus ones! You don’t want to plan your wedding knowing that your guests don’t require any accessibility needs, only to the discover that their plus ones might. All it takes is asking your guests to think about their plus ones, too, when responding to your ‘save the date’ card.

The various locations are key

Now that you know of any accessibility requirements both for the two of you and your guests, you can begin dreaming of your perfect wedding venue.

If you had any venues in mind beforehand, begin by doing a quick internet search to discover if they cater for accessibility. Bear in mind that if you’re looking to book an older venue, their accessibility might not be as obvious, so it’s always a good idea to get in touch with the venue to discuss your needs.

Reception venues and hotels

Think about reception locations, too. If you are planning on having a church wedding, for example, the chances are you will be throwing your reception in another venue nearby. As well as discussing the venue’s accessibility, you should also consider the distance between the wedding venue and the reception, as well as if there are any local taxis or car companies available to hire, should you or your guests need driving between the two.

Nearby hotels are well worth looking into, as well as their accessibility. Ideally, you would hope to find a hotel that meets your needs close by, but if not, transport may be required, especially after a night of dancing and celebrating!

Hen and stag dos

How about your hen and stag do? If you and/or your groom require extra accessibility when it comes to your ‘last night of freedom’, you don’t want to show up at the venue only to find they don’t cater to you or your guests’ needs. The same goes for your hen or stag do as it does the wedding venues; think about where you want to have it, and make the call to find out if they can provide the accessibility you need.

If you’re worried a night on the town isn’t going to be enjoyable, think about alternative ways to throw a party! From a weekend in a lodge to afternoon tea, a spa day to adrenaline fuelled activities, there’s plenty of ways to make the most of it without the worry of accessibility.

Top Tip: If you’ve spoken to managers of venues over the phone, don’t just take their word for it. Once they’ve said they can provide additional accessibility, book in a time to go and visit the venue, where they can show you what they can offer. You don’t want to be assured into thinking everything will be ok on the day, only to show up with little accessibility available.

Planning a Wedding with Accessibility in Mind

April 17, 2017

Spend the Day Together

April 10, 2017 in Guest Posts, Wedding Planning Advice. Written by Kat Photos by Lisa Devlin

Hey you, loved-up-engaged-planning-my-wedding you, can I have a word please? I hope all your planning is going well and that you are gearing up for the day of your dreams. Me? I’m a wedding photographer and I have been for many years now. And here’s a funny thing that after all this time, I’ve only just realised. Like, it’s hit me smack in the face like a wet kipper, realised.

NOBODY TELLS YOU TO SPEND THE DAY TOGETHER

And you know what? Unless you make a concerted effort to, then chances are you simply won’t. Think about weddings: Most couples spend the entire morning apart, they come together for the ceremony (you won’t actually remember much of this bit) then as soon as the confetti has been chucked, you will be talking to the people you know and your lover will be talking to all the people they know. Then apart from your portrait session, chances are you won’t come together again until it’s time to sit for dinner.

Take a good look at most of the weddings on Rock n Roll Bride over over and over again the images with the couple actually together are portraits and formal moments. Cake cutting, speeches, first dance.

Now why do I care? Well, because as a wedding photographer this is the conversation I’m probably going to have with you:

“We love your photography, it’s really natural looking. We hate being in photos, so don’t want to do lots of posing. It would be great if you could just capture us in little moments over the day.”

I love a challenge but natural and little moments is pretty tough when your couple are on opposite sides of the room or the only significant time they are together is the obvious ‘wedding moments’. I feel like I’m always doing my best to orchestrate ‘natural’. In your couple session, I’m actually hoping to catch those little seconds in between when you think you are being shot, when you are lost in a giggle or just finally looking your favourite person in the face without 100 guests trying to congratulate you. I’m thinking I will get natural when we are walking back from the couple session and you are relaxed as you think formal photos are done with. I’m stalking you all day, camera poised ready but more often than not, I won’t get another shot with you both in it until you are sat at the dinner table.

Once I really thought about it, I began to wonder, is there anything I can do to make a difference?

I shot a wedding last Saturday and I knew that the couple felt super awkward at their engagement shoot. So in the morning I explained to my very lovely bride that if she wanted lots of natural photos to consciously spend the day together with her husband. I told her to make sure they walked together from the ceremony venue to the reception, that they worked the drinks reception together talking to both of your friends and families, that they didn’t just do a first dance together, they did a few. I told them spend the day together to be present through it all.

Spend the Day Together

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April 10, 2017

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