Weddings and juggling family politics seems to go hand in hand. So much so that may be feeling like wedding planning is more of an exercise in negotiating family dynamics than a celebration of love. But don’t worry, Rock n Roll Bride is here to help!

You’ve set the date of your wedding and you’ve already decided that it’s not going to be a traditional affair. Your wedding is going to be special, out of the ordinary, something that you’re both going to be proud of. You’ve decided on the theme and it’s all going so well: you and your fiancé agree on all the things you want and you’re kind of wondering what all those brides before you were making such a fuss about. This is fun and easy!

But then something unpleasant happens. It’s like when your smoke alarm goes off when you thought nothing untoward was happening on the stove. Suddenly, everyone has an opinion on your choices and obstacles like anxious bridesmaids and meddling mothers get in the way. In expressing their ideas, they seem determined to destroy yours. Sometimes it’s just the sighs and silent shakes of the head which can crush you even further.

I remember the strained words we had over our wedding song. You would not believe that a three-minute bunch of crotchets and semibreves could cause such a rift. Mum laid the back of her hand across her forehead, much like a Renaissance figurine, “You can’t have THAT song!” she cried, “for heaven’s sake, it’s a wedding!”

You might think I was planning to play a funeral march, or the Hokey Cokey. Dear Lord, no. I wanted Queen, I Want to Break Free‘ I don’t think my mum got the irony.

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While body confidence isn’t something you’ll just magically be able to come across just in time for your wedding (it’s a life-long struggle for a lot of us), marriage counsellor and founder of Mindful Bride to Be, Collin Christine, is here today to talk us through some ways you can have a positive body image, for your wedding day and beyond.

Congrats! You’re engaged. Now you’re probably experiencing what most women experience when they get this happy news: “I am SO happy but now I am going to be on display for my friends, family, photographers, and future husband… I better look hot.” At this point a lot of women start to feel overly conscious of their body and start to do crash diets, exercise like crazy, and restrict themselves in mind and body. During this time even of the sweetest of brides might be a tad bitchy because they’re trying to hard to be perfect.

If you want to feel confident in your body on your wedding day it’s time to look a little deeper and make some healthy adjustments. Want to break up with bad body image before your wedding? Try these four tips to have you truly shining on the inside and out.

1. Comparison is the thief of joy

Everyone at some point has something that they wish they could change about their body. When you notice yourself wishing that you had someone else’s body, you’re taking for granted what is uniquely you.

You’re very rare and special and so is your body! Perfect is an illusion so try and ditch that mentality before your big day, and while we all have areas we can improve on, that has nothing to do with your value as a person or how much love and gratitude you deserve.

2. If the only prayer you said in your life was “Thank You”, that would suffice

Rather than spending your energy on wishing you were thinner, redirect your focus to something you already have at this very moment – whether it’s something like your beautiful eyes that allow you to take in the world around you, your ears so you can hear the sound of the ocean or the magic of a great song, or just your arms so you can embrace loved ones and cuddle with your pet.

It really doesn’t matter; the act of expressing gratitude actually has a chemical effect in your brain and makes you happier! Just thank the universe for what you have and you will feel its gratitude in return.

3. You can have anything you want in life if you dress for it

When you’re physically uncomfortable in your body, it’s important to wear clothes that you feel good in. This doesn’t mean you have a license to go out into the world wearing your PJs every day (not that there’s anything wrong with that once in a while), but you should consider clothes that make you feel physically comfortable so you aren’t tugging on them all day.

There is also value in dressing to how you want to feel. If you want to lose weight so you can wear the latest fashions, then wear them already as you are. You will look hot if you feel hot!

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Remember that movie The Princess Bride? Well The Pinterest Bride is not quite a fairytale but it is a phenomenon that I’m hearing about more and more often.

First up, please, please don’t get me wrong. I adore Pinterest. I use it in my own business to seek inspiration and promote myself as a wedding photographer. I also actively encourage my couples to send me links to their wedding boards so I can get a sense of their style. I can hardly remember a time when it wasn’t part of the wedding industry and I believe that it can be an amazing tool in both planning a wedding and communicating with your suppliers.

HOWEVER… there is a new breed of bride who maybe takes it a little teeny, tiny, too much to heart. It’s IF I PIN IT, IT WILL HAPPEN, like that is actually enough to make any of this wedding stuff happen!

A prime example is a lovely friend of mine. She is getting married next year and like many people only discovered Pinterest when she started planning her wedding. For months, she has been merrily pinning away and now has a pretty sizable board with plenty of ideas on décor, food, dresses and flowers. She popped the other day to see me and was telling me all about how she’d been having trouble finding ‘the’ dress. She’d decided that it simply didn’t exist so instead she was going to go to a dressmaker to get something especially made to her exact requirements. She told me she wanted a dress that might be backless but corseted, full skirted but sleek, boho but princessy.

She had pinned several beautiful frocks and was excited for her first appointment with the dressmaker, fully expecting her to be some some kind of fashion diviner who could make all of her wedding dress dreams come true. I guess she thought she could take all these ideas and like some modern day Molly Ringwald from Pretty in Pink, be able to mush them all together into one killer dress. Well, it turns out she couldn’t. The dressmaker told her to first go and try on some other dresses to narrow down her options considerably. It was impossible to create a dress that fit into all her requirements. She had Pinterest Bride Syndrome for sure.

Talk to any supplier involved in weddings right now and I’ll bet that they could tell you plenty of stories about times that they were asked to recreate something that came from a Pin. Most of the time, it’s totally fine but every now and again it just makes no sense.

I have been stood in a cornfield in lashing rain with a wedding couple trying to recreate a shot they loved on Pinterest that included a vintage bicycle with a basket full of flowers on the front. All the while the perfectly rustic, hand drawn ‘just married’ sign was slowly being washed away at the back. The bride was so concerned with getting the one shot ‘just right’ that she failed to notice there was a great big amazing rainbow in the other direction. Luckily I did notice it and we were able to get the most incredible shots of them standing under it.

I’ve attempted to pull off bridal party shots on a seafront so blustery that their giant round balloons almost garrotted a small child.

I’ve been asked to do couple shoots like those beautiful sunset ones you see taken in a desert… except that wedding was in Central London and when I checked the sunset times it would be the middle of speeches and there was no room to manoeuvre in the schedule. My bride looked at me expectantly as if I could actually bend time…

I’m not one to burst anyone’s bubble, and please do keep using Pinterest to help you define your wedding style and come up with ideas. It’s all part of the fun of planning a wedding. However, here are a few suggestions to make sure you don’t get carried away:

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