Amelia and Tess were married in 2016, before Tess’ transition. Since their wedding, Tess has come out as bi-gender, sometimes having days when they identify as male, but others when they’re female. The couple wanted to celebrate Tess joining their family, so with the help of daughter Ivy they had a gothic styled, handfasting vow renewal in the same place they were originally married, Whistlewood Common in Derbyshire.
“Tess falls under the trans umbrella and is bi-gender – switching between two different genders, can be binary and/or non-binary genders”, they explained. “They switch between the two binary genders of male and female. Tess found the term to explain how they feel and has since been ‘out’ for a year and a half.”
The day had a gothic, pagan vibe and the woodland location set the tone for a lot of their stylistic choices. The day felt very ‘them’ but also complimented the surroundings perfectly. “We wanted to update our vows and wedding photos to include Tess”, they continued, “to have a visual representation of how our family is now. Amelia is Pagan and wanted to keep some of our original woodsy themes but with a darker, older feel. Amelia performed the ceremony herself, incorporating parts of our original wedding. Ivy played a bigger role with her being old enough to want to join in with the handfasting this time around.”
Sarah and Ben met on MySpace in 2007 when they were just 15 and 16 years old. They had a long distance relationship, seeing each other every weekend, until they went to the same university and moved in together. “Since then we have adopted three cats, moved house four times, and spent over 11 years together”, they said.
With a £4000 budget and a desire to get married without anything too fancy, expensive or posh, they planned a perfectly ‘them’ cerebration for January this year. “We wanted the day to be very us”, said Sarah. “Nothing too posh or over the top – we just wanted everyone to be happy, eat good food, get drunk and have fun partying with us.”
“A lot of our friends commented on how before our wedding day they hadn’t enjoyed attending friend’s weddings because they were so structured and formal. I believe we managed to have a relaxed although organised wedding day which allowed everyone to be themselves and have fun.”