Category Archives: Wedding Planning Advice

Runaway Bride: Why All Roads Lead to Scotland

If the idea of skipping the hassle and fuss of planning a wedding and marrying your true love in secret is starting to appeal, then you’re not alone. Christina Golian from Scottish elopement blog We Fell In Love is here to give you the low down on what to think about if your heart is setting on eloping.

Wedding planning can be stressful even for the most laidback of brides. One study found that, on average, each couple spends 42 full days arranging their nuptials. No wonder then it can feel like having an extra job at times.

And while there are undoubtedly lots of fun parts along the way, there can also be potholes to navigate on the road to the aisle – family politics, people’s expectations and the pressure to hold a kickass party that will be remembered for all the right reasons, to name just a few.

There’s also the cost. What can start as a simple, fuss-free celebration can soon escalate until, before you know it, you’re booking a stately home for 150 guests and debating the merits of adding those sparkly charger plates to your budget (and to think we were going to get married on the family farm then have a relaxed BBQ!) At a time when so many people are struggling to buy their first home, it’s understandable that increasing numbers are choosing to put any savings they have towards a deposit instead.

But it’s not just the money, other factors come into play too. Perhaps you hate the thought of being the centre of attention or are worried that a panic attack will strike as you go up the aisle (this was one of my biggest fears in the run up to my own wedding). Or maybe you just love the idea and intimacy of tying the knot in private, and on your own terms.

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Navigating Social Media When Planning Your Wedding

Social media, what a wonderful way to keep up to date with your pals, have infinite knowledge at the click of a button and lift your spirits via hilarious cat memes. And nowadays, it’s also one of the go-to places for gathering inspiration for your big day. But while Pinterest and Instagram are a magical wonderland of pastel colourways, confetti, rainbow cakes and pom poms galore, there is also the real danger of falling to the dark side: Overwhelm, comparison, despair and a desperate need for validation from strangers.

Let’s take a look at how to stay sane around social media during wedding planning, so that your time online lights you up (like those neon signs you’ve been eyeing up) instead of weighing you down (like your partner’s mate who offered to DJ but has gone rogue on your playlist selection).

The average person in the UK spends 24 hours a week online (twice as long as ten years ago) and on average, checks their phone every 12 minutes! Humans are social animals so it’s no surprise that we’re attracted to social media and the feelings of being connected. So, what happens when we scroll? When we’re checking our social media feeds, we’re triggering the yummy reward centres of our brains. All those comments, likes and follows give us a big dose of dopamine, which makes us feel good. The problem is, we’re all getting way too attached to this pleasure system and it’s leaving us wanting more and more.

And it’s all too easy to think that everyone else is living a life that’s much more fun, colourful and put together than yours.

There are parts of our brains which are super ancient. These parts are all the time thinking about how we’re measuring up in our tribe and cannot differentiate between a photo of your Auntie Beverly (i.e. someone in your tribe) and Beyonce at the Superbowl. Think about that for a moment. This is why we have to get tech savvy around the amount of time and what type of images we’re feeding ourselves.

What can begin as a fun way to collect ideas for your wedding, can easily tail spin into the ‘compare and despair’ trap leaving you feeling like you’re not measuring up against everyone else.

Nothing is more important than your mental health, so do not fear brides-to-be, here are some handy tips to turn your online life from woe to wow.

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How to be Camera Confident

Whatever your dress size, most brides-to-be have some pre-wedding wobbles about the photographs. You want to look your best because these photographs are going to be looked at for a very long time! Plus-sized brides particularly seem to lack a lot of confidence when it comes to being in front of the camera. Which is why we are totally thrilled that plus size mega babe and model Georgina Horne is here to share her tips and advice.

As a plus sized model, there are several questions that I get asked on the regular, one of the most common being “I am fat/ plus- size/ large and I am having a photo shoot/ getting married/ want to look good in photos, how do I pose?!”

There is no quick answer or magic formula to suddenly turn you into a posing wizard I’m afraid, and everyone wants something different. Some people want to appear slimmer, others want to be confident but everyone just wants to know how they can look and feel their very best.

I think over the years I have become more chilled about having my photo taken. For some people, it can be a shock to see a candid photo with a dozen chins and squinting eyes, but I now have made peace with the fact that I have many different looks. Sometimes I do look a bit rough and bad-angled – but that’s OK.

Ask to see past examples of your photographer’s work

Being a bigger girl means I do sometimes get paranoid. What of the photographer I’m working with is disgusted by my body? What if they can’t make me look good? What if I don’t look good?! And, you know what, maybe they don’t like my body – but tough shit, that’s their job to make you look and feel your very best, whatever your size.

A good photographer knows how to work with ALL bodies, no matter how they look. Before you book someone, look at their portfolio and see if they’ve photographed plus sized babes before. Do they look happy, confident and ask you hope you’ll look in your photos? If you don’t see any – ask them!

Vocalise your concerns

Your photographer is not a mind-reader. If you are particularly conscious of something, then tell them! They might be able to suggest poses where you’ll look and feel your best or shoot from different angles to highlight your best assets.

You could also show them a few examples of photos of yourself that you do like and some inspiration of other plus sized brides that you’ve found online. It’s important that you’re on the same wavelength but also that you’re being realistic. If you are a voluptuous size 20, don’t expect them to make you look like a size 12 in the photos. Tell them if you need their guidance or input or posing help, and the more photos they take the better, never forget that! God bless the digital age.

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How to Stop Inspiration Overload

Wanting to have a ‘Instagrammable’ or magazine-worthy wedding isn’t a bad thing, but how do we stop ourselves from getting too swept up in making our wedding ‘cool’ and forgetting what the day is really about?

I have a confession for you. If I was to plan another wedding today there’s quite a lot of things I’d do differently. Don’t get me wrong, my wedding was an amazing day and one full of personal creative touches. I was beyond thrilled when it made it onto the Rock n Roll Bride blog (who knew that I’d be writing for Kat all these years later!) but looking back, I totally lost my head to wedding inspo. I stressed myself out unnecessarily because in my heart of hearts, I wanted it to be the coolest, most Instagrammable wedding any of my guests had ever been to and here’s another confession, I dreamed it would make it onto a blog.

If I think hard about that, that’s kinda wild, right? Why should we care whether or not our guests think our wedding is ‘cool’ or social media worthy? Why did bust my bridesmaid butts in a homemade pom pom sweatshop simply to create something as good as the professional one I saw on Pinterest?

The thing is, I hold my hands up and say I got entirely swept away in the (alternative) wedding circus. Yup, I really wanted to get married and not only that, I really, really wanted a fabulous wedding.

The biggest budget I’ve ever had for a party? Er, yes please! I wanted the perfect dress that suited my ‘quirky’ personality, the perfect venue, the perfect wedding favours, the perfect entertainment all topped off with fire dancers (for real, this happened).

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How Not to Be a Bridezilla (Hint: There’s No Such Thing!)

Worried that you’re becoming a bit of a Bridezilla? Well, fuck that! Kate Forsyth of Good Day Club explains how we’re not down with that kind of BS shaming here at Rock n Roll Bride. NOPE NOT ONE LITTLE BIT.

Event planning is rather well known as a terrifically stressful profession. It routinely pops up in the top 10 most stressful occupations alongside jobs like airline pilot, emergency services and military personnel and surgeons.

So, by all means, now that you’re engaged, just take on ONE OF THE MOST stressful jobs in the world. Alongside your regular job, relationship, family commitments, being a contributing member of society, getting regular exercise, eating healthy, drinking enough water, listening to the voicemails your mum keeps leaving, flossing your teeth, getting the right birthday gift for your nephew and watering your indoor plants. By. All. Frigging. Means.

Sure, you want to have a kick-arse wedding celebration that achieves the required amount of justice for your love story. Sure, you’re a BIT of a high achieving perfectionist and you want it to be beyond amazing. Sure, you’ve spent 257 hours on Pinterest in the past month and you’ve become a wee bit obsessed with the raddest wedding ever.

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Let’s Get Real About Wedding Night Sex

Your wedding night is for one thing (wink wink nudge nudge) right? Umm, actually…probably wrong. Dr. Caroline West, a lecturer in sexuality studies and host of the Glow West podcast, is here today to talk abut how your wedding night doesn’t have to be a night of passion.

Picture this: It’s been years in the planning. Your wedding day is finally over and it’s wedding night time. You slip out of your beautiful dress, allowing your new spouse to strip you of your silky, special wedding night lingerie, and you consummate your marriage. You slip into exhausted sleep, both happy at such a lovely end to the day.

Well, wake up babe because this is a fairy tale and, as we know, fairy tales don’t often match up to reality. According to a 2019 survey conducted by thevow.ie, more than half of 3030 people (52%) said they didn’t have sex on their wedding night.

Here’s the truth: you’ll most likely be drunk, exhausted, cranky, delirious or a combination of all four. You will most likely pass out the minute your head hits the pillow. Even if you do manage to have sex, it’ll probably be a quickie that isn’t exactly the fireworks you were envisioning. Those cute neck-to-floor buttons on your dress will be a nightmare for your drunken mess of a spouse to undo, and foreplay…? HAHAHA! Forget it.

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