Stressed out with wedding planning? Aleisha McCormack of The Bridechilla Podcast is here to show you how to throw all that wed-stress into the Fuck It Bucket!

There’s something pretty freaking empowering about saying no to things that you thought you needed but you don’t.

To get married, you really only need three things: you, your partner, and someone to marry you. That’s it. All of the other stuff is fun (and sometimes unnecessary) icing on the cake and those extras are often the things that stress us out the most.

The concept of being a Bridechilla, well my interpretation, is all about simplifying the wedding planning process and removing all of the extra tasks, stress, and stuff that we’ve been told over and over again that we need when in reality, they are entirely optional. It’s about enjoying the process and focusing on what matters the most… that you’ve found your fellow weirdo and you and that weirdo are planning an awesome party together.

The concept of the fuck it bucket isn’t new (people have been putting stuff in it for years!), however in this instance I was inspired by a Reddit/Weddit thread, where couples listed all of the details and worries that they were going to ditch. My interpretation of the Bridechilla fuck it bucket is that it is a magical vessel where all of your wedding expectations, tasks, and unfinished DIY projects go.

The fuck it bucket (FIB for short) comes in handy when disposing of the things that you initially thought were important, but six months (or six minutes) in you realise aren’t worth it. It can include traditions, expectations, trends, gifts and well-intentioned DIY projects can all find a new home in the FIB. Everyone’s FIB contains different things, and that is A-OK.

Recently a wedding planner I had as a guest on the Bridechilla Podcast suggested that we should reverse the process by putting everything in the FIB to start with and by doing this only retrieving things that are really important. Start simple and add-on.  Here are but a few suggestions of things that you can place in the FIB and watch burn.

EXTRA WEDDING EVENTS

The day after party/brunch/lunch can be an excellent way to share some more time with your guests, but like many wedding-related events, they can also feel like an extra production. What used to be just “Let’s meet for a brunch or a BBQ,” has turned into “Let’s plan a third wedding.” Some people create fully catered events with staff and fancy china – who has the time? (or the budget?) If you are keen to host a day-after event but lack time and money to organise it, consider asking your in-laws or extended family to host the event (which is a great job to pass on, especially if they are keen to help). If you just want to call it a day at the end of your wedding and go home or off to a honeymoon somewhere delicious, then chuck the day-after events straight into the FIB and move on with your life.

GIFTS, GIFTS AND MORE GIFTS

One of my favourite things to chuck straight in the FIB is gifts.

Gifts for the bridal, gifts for the parents, gifts for the driver that drove you to the venue. I mean, we seem a little bit obsessed with giving people gifts. Don’t get me wrong; I love gifts – I love receiving gifts, I love giving gifts. But at the moment, we are going through a gift-giving renaissance. And the renaissance needs to end because The Bridechilla community is swamped with messages from Chillas saying:

I don’t know what to give this person as a gift.
I feel stressed about having to find a gift.
I haven’t got time to think about a gift.
Do I need to give them a gift?
How much should I spend on the gift?
When should I give them the gift?
Do I need to give them a gift to say, “Would you be in my bridal party?”
Do I need to give them a gift to say, “Thanks for organising”?

No! Stop it! Stop with the gifts. It stresses me out, man. And again, it’s like the gift bag. The thought is lovely, but no one’s going to judge you, or think any less of you, if you don’t give them a special wine bottle with a personalised label that says “Will you be my bridesmaid?” And another special box of perfume to say “Thank you for being my bridesmaid.” A card, or something handwritten and delightful, is perfect and much more personalised and thoughtful, especially if you’re on a budget. Excess gifts are in the FIB now.

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