PEW PEW PEW! You’re engaged to the best person ever and now it’s time to plan that wedding! I want to help you release your inner Riot Grrrrl, enjoy the wedding planning process and feel like the boss rock ‘n’ roll bride that you are.

This is a big deal and an exciting time in your life. So, let’s power right past (or in fact, swipe left) on the wedstress and overwhelm like it’s just another fuck boi on Tinder. Let’s do this, pew pew!

Here’s your three-step guide to power planning:

Vibe check + set those priorities, gurl

Every boss feminist and general ass-kicker-at-life knows that priorities are where it’s at. Knowing what you want is such a power move and equally as important; it’s the key to giving overwhelm and unwanted stress a super wide berth. Even if you’re a bit of an indecisive dilly dally Nelly, you can use priority setting to make this so much easier. How?

Sit down with your partner on a chair or a couch or a rowboat, and talk about how you both want to feel at your wedding, and how you want your guests to feel. That way your boss-ass planning starts off on a terrific footing – you’re giving your wedding a vibe check first up instead of naming things (you know, a Pinterest driven laundry list of material elements) you want to have (Festoons! Florals! Balloons! Cake!) that don’t necessarily gel with how you want this celebration to feel for you and your loved ones. Feels before festoons. 

Make a list of those feels. Then and only THEN, make that list of stuff you might like to have at your wedding. Nail those feels and vibe and the rest shall come easily. For example, if you decide together that you want your wedding to feel intimate, wildly romantic and uncompromising, then perhaps eloping or a micro wedding are the right fit for you two sexy love birds. 

Should your feels list centre around fun, frivolity and having the best time ever, you’ll quickly know to hire a warehouse, line up a killer DJ, and dress like you showered in super glue then army rolled through glitter, sequins and tinsel.

There’s no shortage of married people who’ll tell you how bloody stressful it is to plan a wedding. These same people shall be quite forthcoming with things they’d do differently if they had their time over, and really, really, REALLY often, it’s changing *something* so they didn’t carry that stress into the big day.

All humans and many animals know that you cannot simply turn off stress like it was a light or your computer or your sex drive after watching Gillian Anderson as Margaret Thatcher in the latest season of The Crown. If it were so easy, stress would really not be a thing, now would it? We’d just turn ourselves off, do a restart and voila! Stress Free Sally is back in da house, never to think of Gillan/Thatcher ever, ever again *shivers uncontrollably*.

So, let’s talk about how to have less stress and way, way more fun. Afterall, regrets are the pits and honestly, a waste of future-you’s precious energy. It really is a wonderful, beautiful, special time for you and your fab partner, your sweetie, your love! Let’s make your memories glow rosy and marvellous, and not be tinged with an overwhelming sense of the Never Agains.

Why are we doing this again?

You’re getting mazzed to the person you love dearly, who brings you cups of tea in bed, is happy to watch Parks and Rec for the twelfth time, and makes you feel all kinds of happy inside and out. That’s the key part, if you break it all down. But it’s so darn easy to get super caught up in small details, things and people that do not matter and straight-up dumb shit that you wouldn’t normally give two hoots about. You are not alone.

If you’re starting to get your panties in a bunch about the below, or any variations forthwith:

● What your Aunty said about wedding flowers

● Whether turmeric or terracotta is the right earthy shade for the organic linen napkins

● Who you should invite from work, or

● If the dress you love will necessitate you getting a Brazilian Butt Lift

Then it’s time to go back to the question, ‘Why are we doing this again?’ Because you love a person whom you want to spend your life with. Focusing on this will mean that other things matter way less.

Mega important side note: bugger your Aunty’s views on artificial flowers vs real; either colour napkin will look grand; only invite colleagues whom you have a relationship with outside of work; and your butt is great JUST THE WAY IT IS.

Delegate + Dial Back the DIY

This is going to be controversial because I know many, many Rock ‘n’ Roller brides are super mega into DIY. I get it, so am I! But it’s about knowing your limits and not taking on too much.

Stress Free Sally is def not folding the remaining 453 paper cranes at 11pm the night before the wedding. In fact, our mate Sally probably decided that 1000 cranes were way too many yonks ago and ditched that idea, toot suite! She is not hanging 200m of festoons lights using a ladder that’s about a foot too short for the job, the day before the wedding. She is definitely not folding napkins into swans while also getting her hair and makeup done 90 mins before the ceremony is due to start.

Perhaps choose a few projects that you’d love to do that’ll both personalise your wedding day AND help with the budget. If you want to do the flowers, your wedding day might not be the right day to try out floristry for the first time. Instead, why not consider a project to create decorations for the ceremony, or a beautiful display for your family photos?