The Treadmill

November 27, 2012

Photography Credit: Olivia Locher

Sometimes I sit here and feel like a failure.

I have a job I love, a husband that makes me so incredibly happy, and a life I never thought I would… but still… sometimes, just sometimes, I feel like I’m a fraud. Like it’s all a front. Like it probably won’t last. Like it’s not real life or something.

I don’t know… do you ever just feel a little bit lost? That the constant pressure for perfection and to ‘be the best’ makes your head spin?

Sometimes I just want to throw my computer out the window and actually BREATHE. The constant need to reinvent, reinvigorate and revolutionise can be exhausting. But it’s vital for any long standing success and sometimes that pressure can be really intense. It feels a bit like running on a treadmill that’s constantly speeding up. I just hope that it doesn’t spin so fast that one day I fall off.

I don’t want this post to be a negative one and I don’t want you to think that I’m complaining… But I guess I just really want to tell myself – and you – that sometimes it’s actually OK to sit back and to have that time to breathe.

So that’s what I’m going to do this week.

My best friend in the entire world is coming to stay. We haven’t seen each other in a YEAR. I know! We suck! But we’re both so ridiculously busy and life has seriously been getting in the way of our play times.

So basically, this week, I plan to spend a lot of time giggling, shopping, eating – you know, doing the things we used to enjoy before work got so crazy and twitter became our playground and our contact with the outside world. I also plan to spend a disproportionate amount of time dressed as a cat but that’s a story for another day. Then on Thursday I’m off to Birmingham to see my girls Lucy & Abbey at their Paper Girls workshop… and on Friday Emma is taking us to Cadbury World! I don’t even like chocolate but I’m so excited I could scream.

So this is my pledge to you. I’m getting off my computer, I’m limiting my twitter use and I’m actually going to go outside and live my life a little bit.

Who’s with me?