There’s nothing more exciting than planning your wedding, whether you go for a large lavish affair or a more understated, personal day, there is always plenty to think about and arrange! But with all the excitement and celebration going on around you, it’s very easy to get caught up in the moment and forget that your wedding is about more than just the day itself.
When you’re in a relationship, you obviously get to know each other pretty well. But sometimes it isn’t until you actually get married that you start to consider the more serious stuff. Some of these topics can be uncomfortable to talk about, but making sure you do so is vital if you want your marriage to last the distance.
Money is one of the main things that couples fight about. Getting on top of your joint finances before you walk down the aisle, and maybe even establishing a few ground rules, will help you nip some of the disputes that can arise in the bud.
It’s a good idea to sit down and access a free credit report like this one from Experian CreditExpert for each of you, this will allow you to identify any potential problems, and find ways to address them. Its is particularly important that you discuss your individual attitudes to money. Even if you plan to keep a lot of your finances separate, arguments about bills, past debts or one partner’s perceived overspending can cause problems very quickly.
Whether or not you want children is something I hope you will have already discussed, but if not, now is the time! Having (or not having!) kids is definitely a deal breaker for most people, so you need to be sure that your partner wants the same as you do. No question.
You should also consider how you think you’ll want to raise your children. It might all sound very grown up and a long way away right now, but again, disagreements about this can lead to friction in the marriage very quickly. It’s vital that you are are a team when it comes to parenting. Obviously you might not agree on everything, but you really need to be united when it comes to the big things such as if you’ll raise them religious or what kind of education you want to give them.
3. Life Goals
If you’re both going in different directions, a marriage is never going to work. If you’ve always dreamt of living on a desert island but they think wifi is a basic human right, if you’d love to be a pilot but they’re afraid of flying, or if you’d like to join WWF but they hate animals (it could happen!)… If they disagree with something that’s always been a massive life goal of yours, you just might not be the best match. Remember, your future isn’t just about what YOU want now, you have to consider their feelings as well.
So before you rush down the aisle, make sure you sit down and discuss all these things so there are no unexpected surprises. Every relationship is different but the most important thing is that you are both on the same page to begin with.
- Photography: Laura Goldenberger Photography