Do I Need Bridesmaids?

Erin & Ray Photography

March 31, 2015

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Hey Kat! I’m getting married in September and have been stressing over The Bridesmaid Situation for a while now. So my question is, what’s the Rock n Roll version of a bridesmaid and what does she do?

As much as I love channelling Blair Waldorf it just seems a bit minion-y, like an on-display clique, since I don’t have an obvious set of BFFs and hate to “draw the line”. Help!

I’m going to let you in on a secret: There isn’t really any reason, other than tradition, for bridesmaids (or groomsmen for that matter). Allegedly, bridesmaids came about because in Roman times the law required female witnesses at the wedding, dressed similarly to the bride, in order to confuse the evil spirits who wanted to cast bad luck over the marriage. So there you go. Evil spirits and tradition maketh the maid.

Although lots of people make a very big deal out of choosing their wedding party, for the modern, non evil spirit fearing bride, the actual duties of a bridesmaid are pretty limited. They can still be a very useful commodity though as their main function is to assist you with the wedding planning.

They have a few main tasks, and depending on what kind of alternative wedding you’re having these things may or may not even be relevant to you.

1. To be there for the big events like dress shopping, centrepiece choosing and DIY crafternoons.

2. To be emotional supportive in times of pre-wedding crisis because let’s face it, this shit can be stressful.

3. To plan you a kick ass hen do/ bridal shower/ bachelorette party.

4. To wear something pretty, walk down the aisle with you, carry a bouquet and be in the pictures.

So there you have it. Whether you opt to have bridesmaids, bridesdudes, bridesunicorns or to go it alone, the choice really is yours. However you can probably be rest assured that most of your close friends and family will offer to help you with point 1, 2 and 3 anyway, whether they’re given an official title or not. That’s what makes a Rock n Roll wedding after all – just doing the things that feel right for you.

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58 comments

  1. Jen

    Our wedding budget is £1000 and so far we are under budget at £946! Having a registry office during the week in the morning and hiring a village hall for 3 days for just £180! The budget includes decor, cupcakes, dresses for bridal party (no bridesmaids, just page boy, flower girl and ring bearer -mine was £17 from eBay), groom’s suit, flowers (from the local market the day before wedding). Reception will be mobile cash bar who give your deposit back once your guests have met the minimum spend (easy with our lot!) and a self-serve bbq with all our meat/sides/salads etc purchased from local supermarket.
    It certainly helps knowing a photographer friend as every other photographer would take our (small) budget over by 50%!
    Registry office fees are no longer as cheap as they used to be – it seems to very much depend where you are in the country as well as WHEN you want to get married!

  2. Looby

    I am currently planning our wedding hence being on here. However I have got some bargains and wanted to pass them on:-
    My dress is a Phase Eight of the shelf (which surprised me as I’m very tall) from Boundary Mills it was originally £600+ I got it for £110, and they had about 10 different styles to try on.

    My other time-limited bargain is BHS. The trouble they are having financially has allowed me to pick up 2 flowergirl dresses for £11 each (was £38 each) and a teenager bridesmaid dress for £16

    I’m also considering fake flowers as I can sell them on afterwards but I want to check how realistic they are first

  3. I think when it comes to saving a paste at the wedding, this depends a lot, we know that women like perfection and if you do not have everything that you are entitled to at your wedding, surely she will speak everything for her husband.
    But the ideas for both wanting to save a paste is very good.

  4. Lindsey

    Have to say we did all this on my birthday on August . Pics to follow. It was the best day ever! Registry office then back to our house/gazebo for some fizz and m & a food. We paid for a singer who we knew who was perfect and just bought cake from asda which was perfect! Friend drove us and niece took photos whole thing under £2k inc 50 guests

  5. Jo

    I wanted a cheap wedding off the back of our motorbike with witnesses! We had missed the Hastings May Day run so arranged it for a register office in Chippenham. We stayed in Avebury and went to Calne bike meet after the deed! I had new biker jeans for the event and my best friend who was also my witness had a bouquet of felt flowers made for me, they will last forever, I love them. My friend took the photos, I was happy with everything, don’t let anyone make you feel bad about what you want and your choices! It’s your day!

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