Hey Kat! I’m getting married in September and have been stressing over The Bridesmaid Situation for a while now. So my question is, what’s the Rock n Roll version of a bridesmaid and what does she do?
As much as I love channelling Blair Waldorf it just seems a bit minion-y, like an on-display clique, since I don’t have an obvious set of BFFs and hate to “draw the line”. Help!
I’m going to let you in on a secret: There isn’t really any reason, other than tradition, for bridesmaids (or groomsmen for that matter). Allegedly, bridesmaids came about because in Roman times the law required female witnesses at the wedding, dressed similarly to the bride, in order to confuse the evil spirits who wanted to cast bad luck over the marriage. So there you go. Evil spirits and tradition maketh the maid.
Although lots of people make a very big deal out of choosing their wedding party, for the modern, non evil spirit fearing bride, the actual duties of a bridesmaid are pretty limited. They can still be a very useful commodity though as their main function is to assist you with the wedding planning.
They have a few main tasks, and depending on what kind of alternative wedding you’re having these things may or may not even be relevant to you.
1. To be there for the big events like dress shopping, centrepiece choosing and DIY crafternoons.
2. To be emotional supportive in times of pre-wedding crisis because let’s face it, this shit can be stressful.
3. To plan you a kick ass hen do/ bridal shower/ bachelorette party.
4. To wear something pretty, walk down the aisle with you, carry a bouquet and be in the pictures.
So there you have it. Whether you opt to have bridesmaids, bridesdudes, bridesunicorns or to go it alone, the choice really is yours. However you can probably be rest assured that most of your close friends and family will offer to help you with point 1, 2 and 3 anyway, whether they’re given an official title or not. That’s what makes a Rock n Roll wedding after all – just doing the things that feel right for you.