Whether it’s something big like stressing that your divorced parents will have an blazing mid-ceremony row, or as trivial as worrying that your flowers won’t match your perfectly planned colour scheme, having a mild pre-wedding freak out is completely normal.
Here’s the thing about worrying though: it’s completely pointless. All that negative energy only serves to emotionally drain you and distract you from more important things. Things like actually taking action and making choices. Worrying also sucks away your motivation to get things done because you’re constantly guessing and second guessing every possible outcome.
So just how do you kick that worry to the curb and tell it that it’s not invited to your wedding?
Realise that worrying is futile
However logical you might think your negative thoughts might be, they are completely unnecessary. It is also well within your power to change your attitude to them. You gain nothing by worrying, and in actual fact, by allowing those thought into your head you’re only adding to the problem because you’re giving them increasing weight. Don’t make decisions based on concern about something that may or may not even happen.
If your anguish is over something more serious, like maybe a family member has health issues, then the best thing you can do is change your mindset and focus on sending out positive vibes instead.
You can’t help anyone by dwelling in the negative. If you’re finding it impossible then take a moment to acknowledge your concern, realise that it is valid, but then focus on the potential positive outcome, not the negative one. As I said before, you’re only hurting your own peace of mind by always assuming the worst.
Let the professionals do their jobs
If you have wedding suppliers that you trust implicitly then you’ll have no need to worry that your dress will turn out awful, your photos will be pants or your venue will cancel on you. This all comes down to research. Ask married friends and family who had great experiences, scour wedding blogs and magazines for vendor credits and have meetings with the people you want to book to make sure you’re on the same page. If you have a team behind you that you know are awesome, they’ll be no need to stress about something going wrong on the day.
You can not do everything yourself. I guarantee that most of your friends and family will be thrilled to help you on your big day too. Instead of stressing yourself out that you’ll never stitch those 300 metres of bunting on time, delegate it! Ask people to help you. It will make the whole process a million times less worrisome.
No matter how dire a situation may seem, if you decide you are not going to dedicate any of your energy worrying about it, you can avoid a hell of a lot of time wasted on emotional torture. If you just decide to skip the worry part, you’ll realise that life – and weddings – can easily go on without it!
You may actually be shocked to realise that it is that simple. Deciding not to waste your precious energy on something that is out of your control is so amazingly freeing. Of course it doesn’t mean you can just ignore problems if they arise, it’s more about shifting your mindset and a realising that the solution is likely to be the same anyway, with or without the worry.
So the next time you feel that pre-wedding freak out creeping up; stop, laugh to yourself, stick on some loud tunes, dance like a loon and let it go immediately. Remind yourself that it’s nothing but a waste of energy and that you can’t do anything about it by over-thinking every possible scenario.
It may take you a little while to start doing this effectively. Just remember though, the earlier you stop focusing on the things that are out of your control, the sooner you’ll find yourself in a much happier, more empowered place, where you can actually enjoy the process of planning your wedding.