Been Done? Who Cares?

You know this about me already but I’m a huge activist for being yourself on your wedding day, however crazy, out there or even mundane (oh yes) that may be. As all the veteran readers will know, I ran a contest for free wedding photography a while back, and have now gotten to know our winners pretty well. I was chatting to the Bride to be, Vana, on the phone the other day for no joke, literally an hour about all things wedding (jeez that gal can talk he he!) and I’m sure she won’t mind me telling you this. She was running a few of her newest wedding ideas by me to ask my opinion as to whether I thought they had ‘been done’ (for some reason she thinks I must be some kind of expert on such things…)

I said this to her, and on her recommendation I am now going to say this to all of you…do not worry about tack, about being over the top or if something you really want seems to be springing up everywhere in blog-land and has therefore, in your eyes, ‘been done’. Just remember this teeny tiny pearl of wisdom…Your wedding guests won’t have been scoring the internet looking for wedding ideas for the last year so will have no idea if something has ‘been done’ or not!

To me, our wedding was not completely nuts. We kept it quite simple with a black and white theme and a few personal touches, but we had so many people saying to us it was the most stylish and cool wedding they had ever been too…they hadn’t spent the last year looking at other people’s weddings and comparing themselves after all!

So don’t doubt yourself… Are you lusting after that cute Stephanie James Couture dress but are worried that in 10 years time the adorability will look as dated as the poofy sleeved meringues of the 80’s? Pah, if I got married in the 80’s I would have wanted to remember the 80’s…2008 was the greatest year of my life and I want to remember that year through my wedding pictures.
Have you have been dying to have cupcakes as your wedding cake ever since you started planning your wedding, but are worried because now everybody seems to be doing it? Well a lot of people that are getting married may be yes, but everybody in the entire world?…erm no.
Are you worried that your wedding isn’t cool enough because you spend all day looking at weddings that seen so much crazier/chicer than yours? (You are not alone by the way, I felt the exact same thing) Let me tell you this – you are more likely to regret planning a wedding in a style that wasn’t really ‘you’ than one that perfectly matches you and your fiancé’s tastes.

So quit stressing about what other people will think and just do it already…and then send me the photographs afterwards!

Now for a couple of trends I love and therefore don’t care if they’ve ‘been done’. Let me know if I’ve missed any of your favourites!

1. Moustaches – Daley Hake 2. Bicycles – Fuller Edge Photography
3. Slideshows – Jonas Peterson 4. Photo Booths – Josh Goleman
5. Short Dresses – Melissa Brown 6. Vintage – Katherine O’Brien
7. Converse Trainers – The Nichols 8. Balloons – Kate Headley
9. Cupcakes – Tec Pejata 10. Mis-matched Bridesmaids – Flint Photography
11. Silly Sunglasses – Cameron Ingalls 12. Martha Stewart Pom Poms – Lillian & Leonard 13. Red Dresses – Rosie Parsons 14. Umbrellas – One Love Photo
15. Coloured Paper Lanterns – Tiffany Aicklen 16. Non Floral Bouquets – Crissy Farah  17. Felt Bouquets – Austin & Cassandra Photography 18. Bird Cage Veils – Victor Sizemore


  1. OMG, Kat – your post hits home for me! I was just stressing about this very topic, thinking that my friends have seen it or done it themselves and that I’d be following trend. Deep down, I know we’d make our wedding 100% ours but my confidence was shaken a bit, especially since I’ve been searching for so many cool things. Thank you so much for the pep talk!!

  2. Tegan Haak

    I totally agree,,,
    my husband and i got married in January this year and i had the perfect wedding…..
    simple understated but we actually had a pirate themed wedding not fully but my husband and his grooms men were dressed in pirate costumes my bridesmaids were in black and white and were holding red fans…. we were married on the beach and our reception was just a party with no formal sit down dinner just lots of yummy finger food having the wedding in the morning meant that we could spend the rest of our special day together it was absolutely awesome and had people talking for weeks…

  3. sing it sister, amen! This is advice that I sing to my brides as well! It’s great wedding advice and really GREAT life advice too!

  4. This is a fantastic post Kat! I think many of your readers/brides-to-be/avid wedding blog stalkers are having many of those same feelings about ‘to have or not to have’ the things that are currently being “over done”… I know I did. And the things you’ve hit on are really important to remember. ALSO, I would like to add, because I’ve had multiple conversations recently that no matter how long you take to plan your wedding, and how much research you think you’ve done on the details, you will ALWAYS continue to see ideas for things that you like and probably think to yourself, “I wish I had thought about that sooner, or I wish I had done that at MY wedding”… it will never stop if you keep looking! Just enjoy the nice things you see in other peoples amazing weddings and know that yours was amazing too, and that other people are probably having the same thoughts about your details!

  5. That was well said and you are spot on! Your wedding day is about YOU and what YOU want. Who cares about what everyone else is doing. The point is to marry your true love and celebrate with all of your loves ones at the end of the day 🙂

  6. Great post, Kat! I completely agree. I believe that the best weddings are ones that reflect the personality of the couple. James and I had a movie-themed wedding because we are both film nuts. We did the Dirty Dancing dance for fun and because we wanted to entertain our guests. And from that little act of being ourselves and having a laugh, we started an international trend in fun first dances. And I got to dance with Patrick Swayze on Oprah :0)

  7. Post author

    I’m so glad you all agree with me…I also did that thing after our wedding (and in fact i *still* do) of going ‘aww i wish we’d done this or had this but at the end of the day is realy doesnt matter!

  8. Vana

    See I told ya this was one blog subject you had to cover – and props for the pictures lol !

  9. Post author

    it took be ages to go back through my archives and find all the pictures i’ll have you know! it was kinda fun tho, i reminded myself of some truly goregous weddings ive previously featured

  10. Wonderful words of wisdom! I was actually thinking about this last night as we start planning our wedding more and more and at first I was worried that it’s going to be too random with no real theme or anything, but that really suits us… we’re incredibly random. Why reign that in on such a special day? The wedding should reflect who we are and if that means random with no real theme or direction… well, that’s the way it should be. I think as it all comes together, the randomness will sort of all fit together and to heck with whether or not it’s been done before! :p

  11. Thank you for this post! My wedding is still more than a year away and already I’m worried about doing something that everyone else is doing….but you’re right, no one else has been looking at wedding websites all year! From now on, everytime we’re planning the wedding, I will keep this post in mind. Cheers!

  12. aimee

    I got married recently and whilst I used the internet for some inspiration, ultimately the wedding was about me and my husband sharing the day the way we wanted it, with personal touches that meant something to us! I think inspiration is fine but being a copycat, especially if you copy someone you know, is totally NOT on! A wedding is meant to be the best and most personally beautiful day of your life so as long as you and your husband are true to yourselves it will be AMAZING! I wouldn’t change my day for the world!

    Also, remember it’s the marriage that matters in the end…..


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