We all have fears. It’s human nature to want to protect yourself from something you perceive to be a threat. Which is why putting yourself out there as a creative is so scary. No matter what we might say, no matter how much bravado we might have, deep down we all want to be accepted and appreciated for what we do.
But being afraid is not something to worry about. It’s how you react to your fears that is the most important thing.
Most entrepreneurs are truly afraid of one thing – failure. But I want to let you in on a little secret: failure is an important part of success.
If you never make any mistakes, you’ll never learn anything. Looking back at your mistakes, or failings, is like looking back at that old boyfriend and wondering what the hell you were thinking. Sure, you might internally cringe at your terrible judgement, but I bet you learnt something valuable when they broke your heart. Although it might be painful, remembering what happened will also remind you just how far you’ve come.
The misconception many entrepreneurs have around failure, is that they think it will forever define them. I promise it won’t. I have made terrible errors in judgement and some incredible (and very public) faux pas in my time. Do I regret them? Sure. Do I wish they’d never happened? For the most part, actually no. Each misstep has taught me a very important lesson.
Most of the time our fears come down to being scared of what other people will think. But don’t let other people’s judgements stop you from doing what you really want to do. You can’t control what people think of you, you can only control your own actions.
(I couldn’t resist…)
Devan and Keith were married in New York’s Lower Eastside. Their incredible venue was The Angel Orensanz, the oldest Reformed Synagogue in the US. The bride wore a black Vera Wang gown but with it she rocked her T.U.K. Creepers – don’t you just love that?!
“I’m not sure if I can accurately ascribe a particular theme to our wedding because we weren’t necessarily going for one”, Devan explained. “We received various comments about its unconventionality, though that really wasn’t the aim either. We simply approached our wedding planning by choosing things that felt meaningful and personal to us, and based a lot of our decisions (like food and music) on what we liked, really sort of oblivious to tradition or trend.”
“It made the task of planning a bit daunting at times (not being restricted to a theme left us with an overwhelming range of choices), but it really all paid off in the end. In different ways, we’re both the type of person who really needs something to have meaning for it to feel like a worthwhile choice. I can honestly say that every tiny detail was intentionally and purposefully selected. The end result was a wedding that felt very honest, personal, and ‘us’ (cliché, I know), in every single way.”
“Although we didn’t have a theme per se, we are definitely drawn to vintage, gothic, macabre, and Victorian aesthetics, so that’s reflected quite a bit in our wedding. We’re also very literary obsessed and admittedly rather on the nerdy side, both of which came out in some subtle, and perhaps some not so subtle, details (our wedding favors, which were a special edition of Pride & Prejudice designed by Keith, the inscriptions on our rings, our officiant’s book, which yes, sort of served as our something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and of course Keith’s suit).”
I’ve been dreading it for months, but today I woke up a thirty year old. I almost can’t believe it! It’s true what they say though, time sure does fly when you’re having fun!
It feels like just yesterday that I met Gareth (aged 17), we started dating (aged 18), we got married (24), I started this blog (24), I produced a print magazine (27), we launched The Blogcademy (28) and I designed my first headpiece collection (29) ..! Needless to say I’m pretty damn proud of how much I’ve achieved so far.
Talking of achievements, a lot of you have been asking how I got on with my 30 before 30 list. Well I actually nearly did them all (OK so I didn’t read a book or manage to launch my digital product just yet… it’s coming soon!) But today Gareth and I are going on a spa day AND he just surprised me with a birthday trip to Barcelona TOMORROW so I will have achieved my “go on a random adventure” wish too!!
Now, I certainly couldn’t let this momentous occasion go by without a little gift for you guys as well. So, for 24 hours only, you can get any headpiece from my collection with Crown and Glory at a whopping 30% discount! Simply enter discount code ‘happybirthdaykat’ at the checkout. Valid until 7.59 am GMT tomorrow, (Wednesday 8th April).
Jane and Andrew were married in Lissanoure Castle in Loughguile, Northern Ireland. Their day was eclectic from the start which began with the most unusual, but weirdly perfect, inspiration! “Jane found a couple of starting points for the visual style of the wedding early on”, Andrew explained.
“Firstly this photo of Gram Parsons wearing his amazing white cowboy suit with bold coloured leaves and flowers, and an Alice Temperley dress called the Long Eliah Flower Show Dress. Things evolved a long way from there. We used Pinterest to develop ideas with Jane’s sisters and our lovely designer friend Kat Flint. In the end we had a lovely jumble of different bold colours, with some white and neutral tones from brown paper and hessian.”
“The main thing we wanted was for the whole thing to feel relaxed, friendly and personal”, they continued. “We tried to keep it all quite informal with lots of friends and family helping with different parts of the wedding. Music is really important to us too. Andrew spent a lot of time planning all the different musical elements of the wedding (and sang a song at our afternoon open mic).”
An usual wedding theme perhaps, but Antanas and Kristina knew exactly what they wanted for their Lithuanian wedding. ”The first part of our theme was cherries”, explained the bride. “Two red ripe cherries joined together, what better symbol of partnership? Red also means strong and passionate love. The sweetness symbolises happiness and the joined top symbolised commitment and togetherness. It became our logo for all of our stationery and guest favors. It was the background detail for the whole event.”
“Secondly, we had jazz. The feel that we wanted to create for our wedding was informal, relaxed, improvised and spontaneous! We asked guests not to wear black, for the guys not to wear suits, and instead for the whole thing to be less formal! Antanas wore a black and white chequered suit with an oversized hand made bow tie and I wore a tea-length dress with fascinator, but no veil. We had no bridesmaids, only five kids that were our companions in the church ceremony. The boys had bow ties made in the shape of our signature cherries and the girls wore them as belt pins on their dresses. So cute.”
Mike and Ashley spent just $1200 on their amazing wedding. To do this, they forgot about anything traditional, instead opting to say ‘I do’ at their favourite place in their hometown of Portland - Voodoo Doughnut! Cat Daddy, the owner, even officiated the ceremony!
Of course they had doughnuts instead of a wedding cake. They had a large one with ‘forever’ on it, and even ones shaped like a bride and groom. “Our wedding was a celebration of us”, wrote Ashley. “We added as much personal detail as possible. I wore jewellery from both my grandmothers, our dog Lola was there and Mike wore a special slap bracelet I had bought him the year before that said WINNER. Our flowers were also so much more special because they were a handmade gift to us from a close family friend, and we were lucky to get married in a special place in our favorite city.”
“We chose Voodoo Doughnuts as our wedding location because when we first met and fell in love, we would go there every Sunday night at midnight and have a date”, she continued. “The location was another part of our wedding telling our story, and if it seems quirky or alternative, it’s probably because we are!”
“We had originally planned a larger, more traditional ceremony, but that ended up not working out”, she continued. “Once we decided to shift gears to a small ceremony, we ended up planning our wedding in about a month, and we kept it secret from most people (the morning we got married, less than 20 people knew it was happening). An hour before the ceremony, we sent a message to our close friends letting them know what we were doing, and a few hours after we put on Facebook that we’d eloped. The outpouring of love and support we received from people was the perfect cherry on top to an amazing day.”