I usually do an introduction type post at the start of every year, where I tell you who I am and show you around the blog… just like a digital tour guide. But this year, my TENTH as a wedding blogger, I thought it would be fun to try something new.
If you’re anything like I was when I first got engaged, right now you’re feeling a heady mixture of emotions – including but not limited to – excitement, nerves, ecstasy and nausea. You have the mammoth task of planning a wedding ahead of you and all the stresses that come with it. OH ISN’T THIS FUN!?
If you’ve stumbled across this site its probably because the idea of a traditional wedding fills you with dread. If you’re worried about how your grandparents will react to you walking down the aisle to your favourite Megadeath song, or wearing a big white dress and covering your tattoos is quite frankly OUT OF THE QUESTION, then good news! You’re in the right place.
Today I want to put your mind at ease and let you in on the 10 most important things I’ve learnt about wedding planning throughout my 10 years in the wedding industry.
You will NEVER please everybody
I have lost count of the number of brides and grooms who’ve told me they started their wedding planning without wanting to upset anybody, but when the day rolled around they were really pleased they just picked the things that made them happy.
Look, there will always be someone who doesn’t like some of your choices, but – newsflash! – it’s not their wedding, its YOURS. So start your wedding planning off without the headache of trying to keep other people happy and do things that make you squeal with joy. At the end of the day who cares if someone doesn’t like the food you served, the tunes you played or the dress you wore? It’s your wedding and if they don’t like it they can jolly well stay at home!
Choose things that reflect you
When I look back at my own wedding, I do sometimes wish that we’d been braver with some of our choices. I only started this blog mid-way through planning our wedding and the industry was much, much less open to the idea of weddings that were a bit different. Back in 2008 it was pretty radical that my bridesmaids wore black (yes, really!)
I really wish I had walked down the aisle to that rock song we originally wanted, I wish we had taken the risk and booked that quirkier venue that had never hosted a wedding before, and I do wonder what my flowers would have been like if I hadn’t just agreed to everything that the venue’s recommended florist suggested.
At the end of the day, it didn’t matter of course. I still look back with the fondest of memories, but if I could do it all over again, we would 100% be choosing things that were much more reflective of us.
But don’t be an arsehole about it
This is an important one! Yes you are ‘the bride’ but no you are not always right. No you are not the most important person in the world. No, everyone does not have to do what you say and bow down before you.
A wedding is about two people committing their lives to each other, but its also about two families coming together. It’s also about those you love celebrating with you so do not think its acceptable to just do whatever you want without considering other people. Do not stamp your feet if you don’t always get your own way. Compromise is important. The little boy that got everything he ever wanted didn’t live happily ever after (sorry Willy Wonka), the little boy that got everything he ever wanted turned into a massive brat.