Ashley and Brendan’s Irish American Gothic wedding was influenced by a haunted castle, romantic fairytales, fantasy films, and 1980s goth nightclubs. They chose Kinnitty Castle in Co. Offaly specifically because of its haunted history. “We wanted guests to feel like they had wandered into another world”, Ashley explained.

Day one was the welcome party, which they called Enchanted Eve. Guests were encouraged to wear big gowns, capes, masks, full knights’ armour, or anything that felt romantic, medieval, dramatic, or slightly unhinged. Everyone went all out. “I wore a huge Selkie dress and got to frolic through the castle with my best friends, which was honestly half the reason for the wedding”, she said.

On the wedding day, they went darker and more dramatic with the theme: black velvet, burgundy satin, antique gold, candlelight, deep red florals, dark fruit, and gold candelabras with cascading dried amaranth. “We wanted gothic romance, but still elegant. More like a haunted love story in an old Irish castle.”

Most of the guests assumed that Ashley, who wears black almost every day, would also choose a black wedding gown. But she went in the opposite direction and wore a white gown made by an independent designer from Ukraine. “The biggest fashion twist was that everyone expected me to wear a black wedding dress because I am clearly a gothic bride at heart”, she said. “But that felt too obvious. I did not want to be predictable, so I wore a white couture gown. Then I changed into a black dress for the reception, which gave everyone the gothic bride reveal they had been expecting all along.”

They stripped back a lot of the usual wedding structure. There were no bridesmaids or groomsmen, Ashley’s best friend officiated, and they got ready together. The ceremony included a ring warming, passing the rings through the hands of every guest before they reached the couple.

Music came from the Leinster String Quartet. Ashley walked to I’m Kissing You from the Romeo + Juliet soundtrack. “Hearing it played live on strings inside an Irish castle while I slowly walked towards my husband was one of the most romantic moments of my life.” At the reception, which started in the castle dungeon, the quartet played a mix of 80s goth, Beyoncé, and music from Game of Thrones.

Dinner was named ‘The Lovers Feast’. Each course was paired with a tarot card: The Empress, Temperance, The Lovers, and The High Priestess. Each place setting had a velvet bag with the guest’s name in gold gothic lettering and a love spell kit inside.

One real highlight was the dance floor, which ended up being a recreation of a scene from Sinners. “There is a scene where the Irish vampire sings Rocky Road to Dublin and the other new vampires, most of whom are Southern Black folks like me and my friends, join him in a circle of Irish dancing. Our DJ pulled it off perfectly. He had everyone form a circle, the song dropped, and for a few minutes the dance floor turned into something between a haunting and a homecoming. The whole thing felt romantic, theatrical, a little ridiculous, and completely us.”

Ashley does admit planning a wedding most people don’t expect came with some challenges. “When you plan a non-traditional wedding, you have to explain your choices a lot. Why Ireland? Why a castle? Why no bridal party? Why a tarot menu? Why not just do things the normal way? At some point, you have to stop defending your ideas and just trust them. The more specific the wedding became, the more it felt like us.”

There is little they’d change about their wedding, but they had a few comments about the wider industry. “I wish the wedding industry made more room for couples who do not see themselves in the traditional bridal fantasy. I also wish there were more visible examples of Black brides in alternative, gothic, fantasy, and destination wedding spaces.”

Thankfully, all the suppliers who worked with them totally understood the brief. “They understood that we were not trying to make a normal wedding with a few dark details. Every vendor played a role in making the wedding feel like its own strange, romantic little world.”