Ari and Bry designed their wedding with their people at the centre and everything else arranged around that. They chose the Allegheny Elks Lodge #339, a working-class Pittsburgh hall, as their location then added all their own décor to make it on-theme. “The theme was classic Pittsburgh hall wedding collides with Vegas kitsch and a hint of the Deer Hunter!” Ari told us. The result was a day that felt retro, in 80s Vegas chapel type way, meets a community party where everyone pitched in.

Ari started by designing her own dress, working Pale Blue Thread to bring it to life. Later she switched into a second look for the reception. Their décor was all Ari’s vision too, and made and set up with the help of their friends and family. Almost every element came from within their friend group – hair, make-up, cake, flowers, décor, stationery.

The ceremony itself was also led by two friends. “Our ceremony was a complete surprise, as we gave our friends/officiants, Chris and Benedict, free rein to make it about whatever they wanted. They absolutely delivered. This was easily our favourite part of the day. We’re forever grateful to our friends for taking time out of their busy lives to craft a ceremony that was as hilarious and secular as it was sincere.”

Food was buffet style and family stepped in there where needed. “We planned to do everything on our own, and we thought we could accomplish that with buffet-grazing style food service, but we used the term ‘service’ lightly. There was none, so of course, the aunties took charge and assisted with food replenishments… but we wish they wouldn’t have had to do that. Also, I have to shout out to the my friend, Devin, who volunteered to ensure the Pittsburgh cookie table was stocked and giving 18th-century Rococo opulence at all times!”

They kept costs down where they could, spending around $13k in total. The venue made a big difference. Not being a traditional wedding venue meant it was really affordable. “Neither of us ever really dreamed about marriage or our dream weddings in the traditional sense, but we deeply love each other and the community we’ve built, so we felt strongly about celebrating that with everyone we love in place that means something to us. The Elks is an incredible organisation, but on top of that, their rental rates are beyond reasonable. Between that and thrifting, Mac Bids, DIY-ing, and not worrying about spa days, hair, make-up, etc. helped us pinch pennies where it mattered.”

The only thing they maybe would have changed would be to have a coordinator on the day to handle a lot of the heavy lifting and make sure everything ran smoothly. The physical effort of a completely DIY wedding was real. “The unloading, setup, and teardown process made us want to walk off into the sunset and never return,” Ari laughed. “We wouldn’t have done it any other way, but my god! HUGE shout out to our fam and friends who absolutely murdered this aspect with poise and grace. We could never have done any of it without them. We tear up just thinking about it.”

But their approach to planning stayed consistent from start to finish, which meant they ended up having a day that was just as perfect for them as it was non-traditional. “It’s just about love. Nothing else”, they concluded. “We’re all about reclaiming working class wedding celebrations and squashing the stigmas ascribed to them. It truly takes a village and that is what makes wedding celebrations special in our eyes.”