If joy could be bottled, Amanda and Julia’s wedding would be the label. They called their theme “over the top femme joy,” and that’s exactly what it was – a full-blown celebration of love, friendship, queerness, and community.

Their vision was simple in spirit but full of meaning. “Our theme was a celebration of us and the people we love, our friends who helped us get through a lot to be at this joyful moment,” they said. “Our inspiration was really to celebrate our love story not just between us, but with our friends, family, and community.”

Collaboration was key to pulling this wedding off. The couple hand-made most of the décor, including a felt banner inspired by a local punk venue where they’d seen some of their favourite bands. Their friend Annie, a ceramicist, threw clay trays as favours, which the three of them painted together with hearts, beach scenes and little nods to New Jersey. Their florist was a lifelong friend of Amanda’s and joined them at the flower market the day before to handpick ranunculus, roses and blue thistles for the bouquets. “We were both absolutely stunned when we saw the arrangements in the venue,” they said. “The colours were perfect and D’Arcy’s love for us truly shined through every petal.”

They bought their wedding dresses together, got ready together, walked each other down the aisle, and swapped speeches for a live set from their friends’ band. “One of our favourite parts about being femme for femme is the joy of getting ready to go out together, sharing makeup, blasting music, and cheering each other on ahead of the big moment,” they continued. “Having this getting ready moment with each other helped keep us grounded and ready for anything.”

After the party, the joy followed them out into the world. Walking back to their hotel along the Asbury Park boardwalk, they passed a group of people in Guy Fieri costumes. “They started chanting ‘Brides!’ and our group chanted back ‘Guys!’” they laughed. The moment was ridiculous and perfect – two brides, a handful of friends, and total strangers all celebrating love under the boardwalk lights.

Their favourite part of the day wasn’t just the beauty of the day, but the fact everyone they love was together. “Having so many people we love in one place, including people we never thought would get to meet each other was the best,” they said. “The biggest gift was to be able to celebrate with the people we love.”

Amanda and Julia’s advice for other couples feels more like a manifesto: “Listen to your heart! Do what you want! Be comfy! Love each other first, then plan the wedding. Don’t get distracted by expectations or shiny things, messages from capitalism telling you you need to spend extravagantly or media telling you to change your body before this big day. Show up as you are with your whole heart and let yourselves be loved.”

“Every moment of queer joy in community in this world is a gift. Being able to support our friends and their unique local businesses was a beautiful thing. One of the key values in our lives is showing up for the people we love with as much hype as possible. Loving each other, and all of our friends, our chosen family, to the fullest. Let that love flow.”