Haether and Elizabeth hadn’t seen or spoken to each other in ten years when they bumped into each other at a goth club. They’d first dated in 2013 but only for a few months. In the decade that followed, both married other people and divorced, and Haether transitioned. Then, in October 2023, Elizabeth went out with a housemate whose friend was visiting from out of town. That friend was Haether. They recognised each other immediately.

“We caught up, reconciled each of our hurts, and we’ve been inseparable ever since”, Elizabeth told us. “Upon telling this story to a friend, he said ‘There’s not a single part of this story that I don’t love’. Since we’re both avid readers, the local, queer, independent bookstore seemed like the perfect spot for our wedding. Our wedding favours were blind dates with books, which the owner selected for our guests. We also had a taco bar, cupcakes, and pierogis. It was simple, fun, and so authentically us.”

As this was the second time around for them both, they knew what they wanted and didn’t want. They kept the budget and guest list small, spending $5,000 in total. The biggest expense was the food!

The shop’s size helped keep things intimate. The ceremony, reception, catering and book browsing all had to fit into the same space, so the couple worked with Christina, the shop’s owner, to plan everything together.

There was no ceremony music. Their friends supplied a running commentary instead. When Elizabeth opened the little pamphlet of vows one guest sighed and asked, ‘How long is this gonna be, Liz?’ “The guests we invited were expert hecklers so we had some fun with that! We also took our time to write and perfect our vows to each other. We wanted to share with everyone the strongest parts of our relationship: forgiveness, learning, and laughter. And we did that perfectly.”

The couple bought a newspaper-style Canva template on Etsy to make their program, then ordered miniature packs of crayons to go with it, taking inspiration from restaurant children’s menus. For favours, Christina selected and wrapped 20 books, leaving a hint about each one’s contents for guests to choose their own ‘blind date’. Some guests bought extra books while they were there, too.

Their advice to other couples comes from having each planned a wedding before, then finding their way back to each other and doing it again on their own terms. “Listen to yourself and listen to your fiancé”, Haether said. “You may want the 100+ person wedding with the cathedral, and the big band, bottomless champagne, seared duck, and a ten layer cake. But, a wedding is just a memory for which you plan ahead. Make it the best memory you can together, and no castle or cathedral in the world will ever overshadow.”

“And with all due respect to everyone out there who loves tradition and fully embraces the big wedding idea, the one rule we would change is: YOU DO NOT NEED TO SURRENDER YOUR DREAM FOR SOMEONE ELSE’S EXPECTATIONS”, she concluded. “It is your wedding. Not your parent’s, not your friend’s, not even your wedding planner’s. It’s yours. Your wants, your plans, your guests. Don’t let anyone tell you ‘it has to be this way’ or ‘well, it’s a tradition and it’ll be expected’. Have the wedding you want, with the people you want, in the venue you want, the way you want. And all anyone else needs to do is show up.”