Post It Notes: 16th December 2011: Let’s Hear it for the Boys!

This week’s wedding Post It Note was submitted by Carina of the fabulous Love Me Do Photography. I loved reading the ideas she presented in her article, some of which I’d never even thought of. We’d love to hear your thoughts and ideas for getting those boys involved in the comments section too so get those thinking caps on!

…and as a side note, if you’d like to submit an idea for a Post It Note article, feel free to drop me an email, I’m always looking for new ideas for this series.

Let’s face it, weddings are very ‘bride heavy’. We gush about the bride’s dress, hair, shoes, and everything else feminine that goes into a wedding. But really, the wedding (and marriage) is about two people coming together; most often being a bride and a groom ( I’ve haven’t noticed this problem in same sex weddings so kudos to you!)

I’m not looking into getting in a debate over men vs. women here. We can have a whole talk about equality, but that’s not what I’m getting at. I just think that it would be pretty cool if we make a little room for the guys to express themselves through the styling of the wedding. I’m talking about your wedding and how much more awesome it can be if the groom is celebrated as much as the bride. In a sea of frilly decor, I can barely see the groom and I silently say to myself, “Where has your manhood gone?”

Maybe most guys aren’t into picking out the flowers, and they don’t need things like their hair and make up done, so that’s understandable. But most of the grooms I’ve interacted with have a great sense of style and are quirky and fun. Also most grooms I’ve met are so in love with their brides, that they’ll agree to anything as far as the wedding planning goes, and that’s where I want people to stop and take a breath.

Times are changing and the metaphor of the bride as a present for the groom is being outgrown. Nowadays, instead of the bride’s parents throwing a wedding for her to be sent off to the groom, couples are planning and paying for their wedding themselves. Let’s make sure there’s room for some male and female style here!

If you’re the bride and you’re trying to figure out the planning, I’m sure you run things by your fiance for his opinion, but maybe have him be responsible for a few factors. Maybe you pick the flowers and he picks the DJ. Or better yet, pick everything out together and make sure you’re allowing him to weigh in any opinions, tastes or responses. Don’t just allow yourself to get what you want if he might want something a little different.

If he just doesn’t have time, or doesn’t have any desire to do any of the planning, how about planning something special that he could really nerd out on? Allowing your groom to get into the planning will not only get him more excited about the day, but also it helps fuel equality in your relationship and will be good experience in the two of you working together.

Now really, you can do anything with the styling. I mean, it’s your (both of you) wedding day, and do what you want, have fun with it! But making sure it’s about both of you and your relationship together will make it even more special.

Here are some great ideas I’ve seen which highlight the groom on the wedding day:

Signature Drinks

signaturedrink

The bride’s favorite and the groom’s favorite!

Homebrew

Beer brewed by the groom himself makes a great favors and talking point for your guests.

A cigar making station

cigar2

Did you know you can hire people to come to the reception and make cigars right in front of you?!

Taking to the Stage

Is your man is a musician? Let’s see him up there!

Place Cards

Here’s where you can get pretty creative and manly pretty easily. Moustaches on stick guest escort cards? Yes please!

Centerpieces

Another great place you can get creative and add a little bit about the groom to the mix. I love terrariums – they’re really fun to make and look great!

Cake Topper

Have him pick the cake topper, or, if he’s handy like the groom in this wedding, he can make one himself!

Boutonnieres

This seems like a no-brainer, but maybe a flower wont show off his tastes as well as a super hero action figure or some DIY buttons?

Accessories

Girls have bouquets and matching hairpieces and shoes, how about getting the guys embroidered handkerchiefs, pocket watches or pipes?

Groom’s cake

What’s his favorite kind of cake? Make it fun and about him! The great thing about the groom’s cake is it can be made into the shape of anything! This Reese’s cake was one of my favorites to photograph.

What are some other examples or ideas you’ve seen or had that can highlight the groom on the wedding day? I’d love to hear them. Come on, let’s hear it for the boys!

All Photography: Love Me Do Photography

14 comments

  1. This is fantastic, the boys do get left out when it comes to a wedding just reading this made me think of all the touches & different ideas to add to the (if he ever proposes) wedding for the boyf :) great post it!! xx

  2. My groom is absolutely obsessed with mushrooms… So we are running a toadstool mushroom theme throughout, it’s already so much fun finding them all :)

  3. M’love is a medical illustrator and graphic designer. . .he didn’t really care about the decor, and trusted my vision of the esthetic. He is, however, far better at design and has a much larger music library. He picked our photographer, an old friend, and designed the invitations for a local letter press company. The music for the welcome reception and the epic dance party were his doing as well. We choreographed our first dance extravaganza together as well. It was a really fun stress relieving moment in the week before the wedding. We couldn’t stop giggling. . .when time got tight at the end, he soothed my nerves and helped make more pennant flags using a stapler. No one noticed :) My hero!

    We each used our strengths during the planning process, and the day was perfectly imperfectly ours. Hurray for my boy!

  4. Carol Cassidy

    I have been trusted with the whole planning of our wedding so as a surprise I have ordered a cigar bar for my hubby-to-be for him and the boys to enjoy on the day

  5. Sarah Roberts

    This is so helpful! It is hard to get my fiancee’ into it completely, plus seeing the breakdown of various components to a wedding is really helpful to ME. Again, good stuff Kat! :)

  6. I wrote a blog post about the issue of guys and how much say they get. I have a lot of design conscious friends who put a lot of effort in to their wedding day. I think there is some way to go to opening it up so guys feel more relaxed about being interested. A lot of guys I see pretend they are not interested but they are and they asked her to marry him in the first place!

    How Much Say Do The Men Get About The Wedding?
    http://www.my-lovestory.co.uk/blog/?id=5604248546724499125

  7. Laura

    Brilliant post, I think the boys are interested but us girls tend to take over…. (it’s hard not to!)

    However, my fiance is getting his suit made especially (a gift from my mum in law to be) and it’s going to be a surprise for me- his words ‘well if you get to keep your dress as a suprise from me- you aint seeing my suit!’. I am a little worried as his taste is a little eccentric and he’s getting it made in Brighton… but… he’s so so so excited and I can’t wait to see what he’s chosen.

    He’s also a music head and is choosing our first dance as a suprise. (He has mentioned something about ‘Hell’s my wife’s old town’ by Bob Dylan…….) So not sure if I made the right decision with letting him ‘have’ this one.

    Just make sure they have a few bits and bobs to get excited about too, like you say- it’s their day too.

    Off to google the cigar table… :)

  8. Ro.

    We had 9 wks to put up everything ready for our wedding, and it was me who was really surprised that my fiancee wanted to take his part in the preparations, so I asked him about (nearly) everything, and of course, not all the details interested him, but he chose the leading colour of the wedding, and it was his responsibilty to choose the dj or get our rings (even designing our rings), and it is true this was important to end up our wedding day as _our_ day

  9. This is a great post, and something I was worried about too…my fiance Ash is the least crafy, organised person I know, and although I have the crafty, cheffy side, I also don’t have the organisational skills. Therefore, we are going all out eclectic with the hope it’ll come together. As we own a skateshop and the majority of our close friends are skateboarders (would love to see my dad on one on the big day haha) his main aim is to source a mini ramp and old set ups and shoes for guests to use. Then its my job to make it all pretty! Big up the men, without them there wouldn’t be a wedding, they definitely need the recognition they deserve!

  10. Vicky Brown

    I’m really conscious of having something for the boyf. The only thing he has taken interest in so far is the bar! Does anyone know anything about cigar bars? I can only find stuff in America and nowt for the UK. cheers.

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