I live and I breathe Rock n Roll Bride. It is my life. It is my biggest passion. It is my obsession. I know from reading the hundreds of submissions and emails I receive from you all that you live and breathe it too. You āgetā it. You believe in it and you love the ideas behind it. But you know what, I have a confession. I sometimes feel like a fraud.
If youāre anything like me, youāll read a lot of blogs religiously. Youāll pour over the beautiful people and their stunning weddings on Style Me Pretty, their effortlessly cool homes on Design Sponge and their awesomely unique design and style ideas on Etsy. We love to read these sites for āinspirationā but secretly, donāt they make us feel a little bit like a failure? Do you ever read blogs and think āIām not beautiful enoughā? Do you ever wish you had more to spend on your wedding? Do you ever wish you lived in one of those achingly cool, funky and stylish apartments?
Yeah, me too.
If you’re reading this, chances are you’re planning (or have planned) a Rock n Roll wedding but sometimes, just sometimes, do you ever get that teeny tiny little twinge of the green eyed monster when you see that sizeĀ zero blonde with her perfectly gorgeous husband and their perfectly stylish Martha Stewart wedding? I bet she didnāt sit up until 2am making stationary or hunting for months to find a dress that didnāt make her look like a blancmange. I bet she didnāt look at hundreds of photographersā blogs desperately searching forĀ one that could capture her wedding whilst coming in nicely under budget. I bet she knew exactly where to look and who to book, and of course I bet she got her first choices on everything.
You know this already but Iām going to reiterate it if it kills me what you see on the internet isnāt real. What you see in magazines isnāt real. What you see of other peopleās lives isnāt real, it’s what they want you to seeĀ ā and none of what you see makes them any better than you or their wedding any better than yours.Having a blog-perfect wedding isnāt what makes theĀ day the most special, perfect or magical. The most popular ārockstar āphotographer and the Vera Wang dress donāt make the wedding special. YOU make your wedding special.
You and your fiancĆ© who argue sometimes
You and your fiancĆ© who donāt fit the glossy magazine ideal of whatās beautiful
You who obsesses over diy-ing the whole damn thing because you know only you can make it the way you want it
I know you know this already, but I also know that deep down you sometimes look at other brides and other weddings and feel like you’re having a substandard wedding.
On the flipside (and this was something I was seriously guilty of when we planned our wedding) you look at weddings on sites like Rock n Roll Bride and think āOh their wedding is so much cooler than mine. Iām not that alternative. Iām not that unique or creative. My wedding isnāt Rock n Roll enough.ā This is something Iāve written about before but again Iām going to reiterate it quickly here ā having the most alternative or Rock n Roll wedding doesnāt make you better/happier/cooler than anybody else. A Rock n Roll Bride isnāt just someone with loads of tattoos wearing the most awesome dress. Being Rock n Roll is about being YOU. Be proud of who you are and planning the wedding thatās perfect for YOU. Forget what the magazines tell you. Magazines aren’t real life.
So why did I start to write this today? Well firstly I read an amazing article on Princess Lasertronās blog. Someone who, Iāll be honest, Iāve always seen as having it all sorted ā gorgeous husband, fabulous office, happy baby and crazy amounts of talent, style and popularity to boot. The article, Things I Donāt Want People to Know, really made me realise that however you view someone, that an online portrayal really isnāt the whole story. I loved reading her list and it really did make me think āWow, I bet the whole world thinks like this. I bet all those bloggers I aspire to are just as confused and scared as me.ā
That sizeĀ zero blonde or that enviously alternative bride havenāt got it all sussed. Online, and in their weddings, people share the part of themselves that they want to, the part they want the world to see. The rest, like all of us, they keep hidden away.
So how about me? Have I got it all figured out? Iāve got a popular blog read by thousands of people all over the world. I shop a lot. Iāve got gorgeous kittens and a doting husband right? Well yes ā but of course this is the part I want you to see. I exaggerate the good and hide the not so good. Iām not saying I donāt really live and breathe what I express on my blog, but there are certainly the things I keep to myself. Well until now. This is the real meā¦
I always think Iām fat.
I constantly compare myself to others.
Our house is always messy, needs a clean and has diy jobs that need doing. I get embarrassed if anyone, even my Mum, comes over.
I donāt have that many real life (as in non-wedding) friendsā¦and I donāt see them enough.
I donāt have a creative talent of my own. Iām not artistic and I desperately want to be.
Most days I don’t get dressed until gone 3pm.
Everyday I wake up and feel like a fraud and like I have no idea what Iām doing.
I nag my husband to do make changes to my blog and we argue about it.
Iām a perfectionist and Iām bossy to boot.
Even though the blog is going well I still work a part time job at the weekend because Iām scared it might all collapse one day.
I work 7 days a week and we havenāt had a holiday since our Honeymoon at the beginning of 2008.
Does this sound like someone with a perfect life, whoās got it all sussed? Certainly not.
So, will your wedding be perfect? Probably not.
Will your wedding be perfect for you? Hell yes.
Go and create that perfect-for-you wedding and life and screw what you think the rest of the world is up to.