Cassie and Curtis matched on Tinder and bonded over a shared love of alternative music. Early on, they made a promise: if they ever got married, they’d do it their way. Years later, they kept that promise with a darkly romantic celebration at the Madonna Inn in California, complete with red velvet walls, golden cherubs, and a red wedding dress inspired by Cassie’s parents’ first dance song, Lady in Red.

“I never felt like myself in white,” Cassie said. “Red always gave me confidence. It’s hugely sentimental too. My mum wore red all the time – her nails, her lipstick, her clothes. And my parents’ first dance was to Lady in Red. The DJ even shone a red light on them so it looked like her dress had changed colour.”

The couple took cues from The Phantom of the Opera to shape the atmosphere, a theme that felt at home in the venue’s theatrical setting. Cassie and Curtis added their own touches with pink and red florals, golden candlesticks, and DIY centrepieces made with family the night before. “We didn’t intentionally try to be different,” Cassie continued. “We just wanted the wedding to be us. The fact that people told us later we’d inspired them was the coolest part.”

However their ceremony didn’t go quite as planned. The rings were lost minutes before Cassie’s entrance, slipping off the ring pillow somewhere near the venue entrance. “I wasn’t aware of it until I was at the top of the staircase,” she said. “My ring was found, but my husband’s wasn’t.” The ceremony couldn’t wait, so her cousin’s son’s ring stepped in as a stand-in. Cassie walked down the stairs to an orchestral version of All I Ask of You and exchanged vows with Curtis under candlelight, her best friend of twenty years officiating. The missing wedding band luckily turned up after the ceremony, and they took a private moment to exchange it properly while their photographer, Lacey, captured the quiet joy of the moment.

The reception, though shortened by the ring search, still felt full. The couple entered to a piano version of Smother Me by The Used and shared their first dance. Guests signed a red vinyl record as a guest book and toasted with custom drinks named after the bride and groom. Later, Cassie danced with her parents to Lady in Red, surrounded by other couples who joined them on the dance floor.

“Decision fatigue is real,” Cassie said, laughing. “You’re the boss and that can get exhausting. We were very specific about what we wanted, which made it hard to let go of control.” She credits their family, friends, and vendors for helping them stay grounded. “There’s so much that goes into planning a wedding by yourselves. Write everything down. Give yourself time. And don’t panic if you don’t know what you want right away.”

If they could change anything, Cassie says a wedding coordinator would’ve been the ultimate splurge. “There were too many things to keep track of. Our family and friends stepped up and helped, but I now understand why coordinators charge what they do. That’s a huge job.”

Their advice for anyone planning a non-traditional wedding? Start early and space out the DIY projects. “It takes a lot longer than you think to make everything. We planned months ahead so we weren’t stuck doing everything at the last minute.”

And as for breaking rules, Cassie had some wise words to share too: “There’s this unspoken idea that you have to be a ‘good host’ at your own wedding. It’s ridiculous. The less you focus on entertaining everyone, the more you get to actually enjoy your day. You don’t need to line up for endless photos or greet every guest one by one. People will understand. It’s your wedding day. You’re the one putting in the time, money, and love. Make it what you want – not what everyone else expects.”