Sar and Jack’s September wedding pulled together autumn vibes with spooky 80s and 90s pop culture references. They wanted it to feel elegant rather than a Halloween themed costume party.

The ceremony space was built to feel immersive and full of florals, greenery, pumpkins, candles and and well-worn novels surrounding a lit fireplace. Their florist transformed the barn into something that more closely resembled a forest clearing. Guests arrived as starting Concerning Hobbits played. Sar then walked down the aisle with her dad and their dog, Rocket, to Test Drive from How to Train Your Dragon.

They chose a celebrant rather than a registrar for flexibility and personalisation. “As we both have ADHD it was likely we would’ve ran late as we both have time blindness!” Sar said. “By choosing a celebrant, it meant we could be more flexible and there was no pressure. India wrote a wedding ceremony specifically about us. We had nods to our favourite films such as Lord of the Rings and writers such as Jane Austen and the Brontës.” Dried petal confetti was thrown as they walked back up the aisle to a string quartet version of AC/DC’s Highway to Hell.

Welcome drinks included Winter Pimm’s and a locally brewed ale. Halloween décor details appeared throughout without taking over. They had neon table numbers and a ‘Til Death’ sign, finished with “is for quitters”, on top of their cake were two ghosts from York Ghost Merchants. Small gourds and pumpkins were dotted around the venue and the photo booth props included Slimer from Ghostbusters and shrunken head Bob from Beetlejuice.

Sar found dress shopping one of the hardest parts of the planning. She bought her original dress early to get it out of the way, knowing she needed long sleeves and and to feel comfortable. However, a year later, she hated it and a week before the wedding she left a fitting in tears and accepted she could not afford to start again. She turned to Vinted looking for a backup evening dress and instead found the one she actually wanted, unworn apart from a few hours at someone else’s registry wedding! Even better, the measurements matched hers exactly!

If Sar could change one rule about weddings, it would be the legal status of celebrants in England and Wales. “The fact that celebrants can’t legally marry people is ridiculous!” she said. “We had to do a whole registry wedding before our big day which cost more money and more time. It was OK but I just think celebrants should be able to do it.”

And the one thing she wishes more people understood about planning a wedding? “That its not about them!” she laughed. “We had family members comment things like ‘oh you don’t do things by halves do you?’ in a patronising tone. I just rolled my eyes and thought, this really isn’t that unusual in this day and age. It’s not for family members to organise anymore, it’s for the couples to choose what they want, for them to remember for the rest of their lives. When we met with an ex-registrar when registering our wedding, she genuinely asked why we chose a celebrant over a registrar and we told her because we have ADHD. We need flexibility and we need to not be stressed by someone else’s time constraints and rules!”