Positivity During A Pandemic: How To Make The Most Of This Time If You Have A Wedding To Plan

Victoria Besedina

April 13, 2020

{DEEP BREATH}

You guyssssss, 2020 is a real fucking trip. My heart goes out to everybody effected by what’s going on right now (so that’s the entire world then?) not least of all those of you that have a wedding that was supposed to happen over the next few months. There have been so many articles and social media posts written recently about how to postpone your weddings (I particularly liked this one from Happiful magazine) but this is not another one of those. Instead, today I wanted to today talk to you about how (once you’ve dealt with the drama, pain and logistics of actually postponing your day) you can now move forward and use this time in the very best way possible.

The fact of the matter is that problems/ bumps in the road/ challenges are a fact of life, and whatever way Covid-19 is affecting you right now (with your business or job, with health concerns, with worries about vulnerable members of your family, or with dealing with your wedding) it is our attitude toward them that matters the most.

I fully appreciate that what I’m about to say may ruffle a few feathers, in fact it may darn right piss you off but I TRULY, with my whole entire being, believe that that how you approach what is happening will either pay dividends to your mental health and how you move on from this moment… Or it won’t. It’s up to you, boo.

We have been given the gift of time. That’s a fact. Yes, the other side of the coin is that there is also a lot of emotional pain, money worries and trauma to deal with, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that most of us (BIG love to all the NHS staff and key workers keeping the country going right now) now have a lot of extra time on our hands.

I choose to focus on the good. Focusing on the positives around this situation doesn’t in anyway negate the negatives. However, I simply choose to put my focus on the (however small) slithers of hope and joy that I’m witnessing. You may call me idealistic, you may call me naive, you may even call me privileged but this is how I choose to view the world, not only throughout this pandemic, but my entire life! This is also your choice to make.

Think about it this way (and thanks to Sophia Hilton for this analogy – I stole it from an Instagram Live she did last week) If you booked a holiday to the Maldives, would you sit on your sun lounger complaining that you’d spent all this money to be there? Would you wake up every day and say “OMG we’re going to have to eat baked beans for a month to pay for this!” No, you would ENJOY THE FUCK out of that holiday. Yes, it cost you a lot of money to get there, but while you’re there you may as well use and enjoy the time you have in paradise.

In the same way, Coronavirus has potentially cost you a lot. You may have lost your job, you may have had to postpone your wedding, you may have even lost a loved one and that’s all absolutely rubbish BUT what are you going to do next? Are you going to sit around and complain about it, or are you going to make the very best you can out of this bad situation?

In short, use this time to make your wedding EVEN more amazing than it would have been before. Use this time to get all those DIY projects done that you would have definitely run out of time to do otherwise. Use this time to figure out what you can do to give back to your suppliers that have been so utterly amazing to you. Use this time to research even more amazing wedding ideas. Hell, you could even use this time to start your own wedding business!

You now have the opportunity to think about what you really want your wedding to be. Maybe you got swept up in the idea of planning a big, expensive wedding but now you actually think you really want to change your plans and elope, or pair down your ideas and budget instead?

I choose the believe that better days are coming. I choose to trust that even when bad things happen to us (and believe me, I’ve had times in my life that have been utterly traumatic to deal with) they make us stronger and more grateful for what we have. I choose to realise that however awful things are right now, they are all part of the magic of life and they are going to be the catalyst for a much more inspiring redemption story!

I hope you are all keeping safe and healthy. I hope you are all telling your family and friends how much you love and appreciate them. I hope you are showing immense gratitude for our NHS, our supermarket workers, delivery drivers and your wedding suppliers that are going above and beyond to help you navigate this uncertain and stressful time. But most of all I hope you are being kind to yourself and others.

You got this babe. Fist bump.

Suppliers

63 comments

  1. Heavy and hopeful

    I read your article because I am marrying a very handsome musician soon, who is the love of my life. We have opened our home to his brother who is also a musician and thus we have had to put our wedding off 4 times due to extreme poverty. I am having such a hard time finding a used dress that is in my price range, as I am a 16 to and 18 and pretty sure I can’t get any more weight off due to thyroid issues. I have cried many a tear over this wedding business and have finally come to terms with my weight and my issues and our pocketbook. Thank you for this article. It made me very happy to see the beauty that is not a size 6. Now to find a used dress before Dec… Hopefully I don’t loose my mind again.

  2. Post author

    Jessie – the cream ones are Irregular Choice. Not sure about the green ones though xoxo

  3. Jamie

    Thanks for yhis. I have spent many years battling anorexia so I know how it feels. Recovered now but constantky still battling it in my own mind ever day and it so hard. Panicking my wedding photos won’t look good because I have never been happy with how I look. I hope many brides to be look at themselves in a new light after reading this. Xxx

  4. What a lovely article. I believe that every woman is naturally beautiful and that by going with our own natural style we find our own unique beauty. I remember a lady who was convinced her legs were like treetrunks, whereas to me they were graceful, curved legs that perfectly suited who she was. When we don’t like something about ourselves it is usually because we haven’t learnt to accept an aspect of ourselves, and sometimes that turns out to be something brilliant. That said, I have definitely not learnt to accept my belly, brought on by living too close to Ottolenghi’s! And I do think it’s worth eating healthily in the run up to one’s wedding day, not so as to feel stressed, but so as to feel fabulous and enjoy it all the more.

  5. Leah

    You don’t know how bad I needed this. I lost 90 pounds before and have gained over half back since getting engaged. I have felt so fat and ugly and even having thoughts of not having a wedding. All because of how others will see me! So tiring.

  6. Kate

    I get married in 2 weeks and i have never felt more stressed in my life, not because of the wedding but because im terrifed i am going to looks horrible and fat, like some kind of over-stuffed chiffon based Blamonge! it scares the living crap outta me and then i ave just read this and i could cry… i wish i could un-do the stress i have put myself under this past year

  7. Lael

    I’m really struggling. My wedding is in a month and I just simply don’t feel beautiful. I just want to be married I wish I could skip the bullshit all together. It’s ridiculous. But I’m doing this reception party for him because I love him. It’s just giving me anxiety because I’m not ever going to be the perfect skinny minny bride. It’s just not me. Oh well. Whew.

  8. Emma

    I bloody love this!
    I’m getting married in November and i am constantly stressing about my weight! And pretty much every one has said to me ‘oh well you don’t want to look at the photos and see how big you are?!’
    I mean come on!
    Thank you for this article – it goes with what my guy is always saying ‘we’re happy so who gives a crap about anyone else’.
    You rock! Awesome photos too! My wedding shoes are the irregular choice ones you have in the pics! 🙂

  9. Mia

    Loved this article! I’m getting married over Easter weekend and the whole weight thing has been on my mind…especially if I stress eat… but luckily your article relieves me from silly worries. Thanx! Xx

  10. Joy

    Thanks for this! This past weekend I had my reception and had a ton of fun. I had on a very tight dress to show off my curves but upon looking at some candid side profile pics from the big day, i had a protruding belly. For the last few hours I have felt like crying because I tried so hard to lose weight for months and then felt serious wedding dress regret for being so daring….but trying to get body positive is so hard. It’s like all my dieting and counting calories was for nothing but I’m trying to tell myself it’s not true. And you’re right the pressure to lose weight was annoying as hell on top of the wedding planning. EFF our modern beauty standards!!

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