Struggling with motivation? On a one-way journey to procrastination station? That’s okay! Chances are, life is screaming past you at a million miles an hour. Getting engaged is a gorgeous, sparkling moment, but now it may seem like you’re adding another thing to your already jam-packed to-do list. And if you feel guilty for admitting that, you’re not alone.
Engagements can be stressful and as the list of wed-min tasks grows by the day, you may find you’re less and less inclined to do anything about them as you slowly drown in layers of tulle and sequins and Pinterest boards. You’d rather just hide. Cue more guilt paired with a rising panic that “all the good vendors will be booked!” So, here’s some encouragement, which I think also applies to life in general.
“BUT I CAN’T!” I hear you yell, “I might make a mistake, or find a better dress later down the line or pick the wrong flower crown!” Okay, I get that, but here are my reasons to just make the tiniest step in the right direction:
BECAUSE IT’S THE HARDEST PART
Be confident. This is all new! It’s not easy taking a step out of your comfort zone. It’s called that for a reason, but once you’ve taken that first step, you’ll see the next step more clearly and it’s an easier walk from there. Remember, there is no single way to do anything, especially when it comes to weddings! Don’t feel pressured to have the most on-trend day, or try to ‘beat’ your friend’s wedding. Start with a blank page and plan it your way. But you don’t have to achieve the world in a day, hings take time. The hardest part is that step that shows your commitment to an idea and your confidence in seeing that idea become a reality. Making a teeny tiny start will give you a wonderful sense of achievement that should spur you on.
What’s stopping you? Have a good look at the reasons that are stopping you from starting. Is it a fear of letting someone down? Making bad choices? Too much to fit in your head? Let me reassure you, most people will feel these things. At first, your engagement feels like this warm, cosy bubble with just the two of you inside it, and then suddenly you have to invite EVERYONE in (we seriously considered eloping at this point!). It’s okay to identify the things that are stopping you, but you need to believe in yourself – that you can overcome anything. It may seem overwhelming, but by breaking things down into manageable chunks and tackling one thing at a Time, life will seem simpler.
HAVE FAITH. IT WILL BE FABULOUS
Trust yourself and your ideas. You got this far! You know yourself and your partner better than anyone. If you’ve had a good idea and have that tingle of excitement about it, you need to trust that you can do it. Years down the line, you may well think that you’d do your wedding differently – I know I would – but you’ve got to think about the here and now. What makes you happy? Be confident in your choices and try not to worry about making ‘THE RIGHT’ decisions. Fill your day with your favourite things. But try not to get overwhelmed by the small details. Your wedding will be phenomenal because ultimately, it’s the day you’ll marry your best friend. The best is yet to come – keep that in the front of your mind!
But how do I just start?! What do I do?!
There are no set rules, which I suppose is half the problem! But here are a few things I like to do to ‘just start’.
MAKE A LIST
Get everything on paper and pick ONE thing to start with. Make it manageable. Finding an excellent notebook helps me!
SET REALISTIC TARGETS
Getting target dates helps keep momentum. Have a little celebration each time you hit a target (a good excuse for a G&T).
MAKE THAT FIRST CALL
I hate using the phone, but it gets things done so much faster and I always feel a sense of achievement after making a phone call.
Share your worries with your partner, you’re in this planning business together! It’s so important that you both know where each other is at – be honest, they might be feeling just
LOOK AFTER YOU
Most importantly, don’t forget to be kind to yourself – making your brain a happier, friendlier place is the first stepping stone to success.
Schedule some time out. Getting on with stuff is that much easier when you know there’s a break coming. Plan some fun things to do where you DON’T talk weddings with anyone!
Mindfulness. Focus on the now. Clear your head… get out into nature, watch a movie without your phone, take the longer walk home, stop and just feel your heart beat and the breath in your lungs.
And then own it! You’ve got this. Small steps, just start.
About the Author
LJ Stocks is a blogger and writer. She also likes cake and filling her blog, Always Cake in my House, with deliciously easy recipes. She lives in Buckinghamshire, working as a copywriter and wrangling the four boys in her life—a husband, two small sons and a dog, and can usually be found in the muddy countryside. Or a shoe shop. Find her on Instagram: @ljstocks @alwayscakeinmyhouse
This article originally appeared in Rock n Roll Bride magazine, issue 25, a back issue of which can be ordered here. The current issue, issue 28, is now available on the high street or to purchase via our website.