How to Remember Deceased Loved Ones At Your Wedding

April 14, 2015

Lisa_Jim_Halloween_PaulRaeburn_007

Intimate Halloween wedding by candlelight

By the time a lot of people get married, it is quite likely that they will have lost someone near and dear to them. I’ve had quite a few people email me about this over the past few weeks, so today I wanted to share some simple ways you can include a loved one who has passed away in your wedding day.

While many people might wince at the idea of including a memorial as part of a wedding day (for fear of it being too depressing or overshadowing the celebration), there are many ways that you can honour and include them in a subtle yet special way.

Have a photo of them in a locket, tied on your bouquet

Halloween-Wedding-in-a-Cemetery-8

Halloween and horror wedding

Set up a memory table with photographs of them

Doctor-Who-wedding-64

Doctor Who wedding

Wear something that they wore on their wedding day, or something they gave you

sunflowers-flamingo-themed-retro-wedding-17

Sunflower and flamingo wedding

Take some fabric from something they owned and sew it into the inside of your dress or one of your accessories (maybe in the shape of a heart)

colourful-diy-mexican-wedding2

Colourful Mexican wedding

Walk down the aisle to their favourite song

luanaandaruana_gustavomarialvaphotography-36

Alternative shabby chic wedding

Have an empty seat for them at the ceremony

ajayejayrockingcivilwedding_quirkycreatives-44

Black and pink Converse wedding

You could leave a photo of them in a nice frame on it, their favourite flower, or simply a ‘reserved’ sign.

Have a moment of reflection for them at the beginning of the ceremony

Shannon-Joss01780_1

Bohemian meets nautical wedding

You can ask your officiant to say a few words about those who aren’t able to be present. Don’t be nervous about this, they’ve probably done it before and can help you with the wording.

Include their signature dish or favourite treat on the menu

Non-wedding-SA-wedding-Summertown-Pictures-58

Relaxed foodie festival wedding

Offer a special favour in their memory

Goth-NZ-Wedding_Nisha-Ravji-Photography-391

Gothic NZ wedding

Include a sign to explain it, aka “Take a shot for Mike!”

Instead of favours, donate the money you would have spent on them to a charity that helped them, or they supported

Suzanne-Neville-Favours-576x384

Wedding favours that save lives

Many charities, like Cancer Research, will send you charity pins to give to your guests too. Have a card on the table that states you’ve made a donation to the organisation, in memory of that person.

Toast them at the reception

אמה ועופר חתונה ברשפון

Bohemian festival of love wedding

Release (biodegrateable) lanterns or balloons at the end of the night for them

60s-inspired-abandoned-hill-fort-punk-wedding-babb-photo-24

Colourful punk wedding

“We had helium balloons spelling out RIOT as a tribute to a very dear friend. Our friend Colin, singer of Oi band ‘Runnin’ Riot’ passed away just a few weeks before the wedding. We wanted to create a special tribute for him. I know a lot of people there on the day were missing him a lot. Then the day after the wedding, four of us took them outside and released them out to the North Atlantic wind. It was a special moment – like he just floated away to heaven.”

Has anyone else got any other ideas? Please share them!

16 comments

  1. These are brilliant ideas! Me and my husband have been trying to come up with ideas for date night and I think some of these may definitely come in to play!

  2. Couldn’t agree more. Getting married is just the start of the rest of your life together. Never take one another for granted. Marriage is a two sided relationship. Always respect one another and remember why you fell in love in the first place. As years go by you face challenges together and may disagree or have different perspectives. Work things out together. Give and take. Remember to tell one another how much you love one another. Dating is fun and a great way of making sure you take time out for one another. We love the winter months snuggling up by the fire under a blanket together watching our favourite tv programmes, but we remember to change routine now and then to avoid getting stale. X

  3. Ron

    Go Andrea!!! Have an awesome time!!! Applaud you for the knowledge that even though many years go by, we don’t have to settle.

  4. Huju

    This list doesn’t work for married couples with a bunch of kids. The babysitter comes. We have a date night. What to do? I’m tired of going to restaurant for fate night. Going to movies is stupid. We are tired after work. Yes, sometimes we go food shopping. Seems stupid to pay babysitter only to go food shopping. Sometimes we go sit at Starbucks. But there is nothing else to do. Sure, occasionally we could go to theater. Or visit friends. But if we have a date night every week, what do we do? It turns out the best thing to do is see a marriage counselor. $10-$15 copay for an hour time of talking about stuff with a counselor who moderated and stuff. I recommend that. Only good things can come out of it

  5. michelle

    to all my fellas out there anywhere now too here is something you all can look at instead of what,s in your pants let alone anything and yes we can go on dates outside ca na da and anywhere else too and your buying on me too I supposedly too I hope hint???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!and can this site send me this list too,but I do have my own ideas for this sort of thing too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. Michelle Henry

    I’ll give some of your suggestions a try.ill let you know if it works

  7. Denise

    For people with children and can’t get away, have a “camping trip” in the house. Put the kids to bed & set up a tent in any room. It doesn’t have to be a big tent or room. If you don’t have a tent, use sheets.(we actually did this outside once) Use air mattresses or several layers of blankets & pillows. (the softer, the better)Play outdoors sounds from youtube. Light the tent with flashlights & have a light picnic, with wine or any beverage & play strip poker. If you don’t have cards, get out the kids crayons & make your own.

Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *