Working in the wedding industry means than when I meet new people, after the usual queries about “what makes a wedding alternative?” and “what’s the weirdest wedding you’ve seen?” are answered, our conversations often turn into a discussion about marriage.
I feel like I’ve had these conversations with a very broad spectrum of people, all with very differing thoughts on what makes a healthy marriage. I’ve met people who have sexually open relationships and others that didn’t go to bed together before they said I do. I’ve chatted with those who cohabited within days of meeting and others that are married but still chose to live separately.
Over the years, these conversations have quickly made me realise that while I might be all for the most unconventional of weddings, I really do have quite a traditional view of marriage. Sure, our roles might be slightly unusual as I’m the main breadwinner whereas Gareth takes on more of the household chores, but in terms of what it actually means to us to be husband and wife, we’re pretty damn vanilla.
To me, marriage means partnership, in whatever form that might take. It means putting someone else’s needs next to your own (not above or below) and knowing that the other person will always do the same.
To me, marriage is realising that even though they’ve seen you at your very worst, they will never love you any less.
Marriage is not judgemental or mean. Marriage is not boring or unfashionable.
While marriage might be hard work sometimes, the laughter in between any testing moments is always much louder than the screams of frustration. Marriage is not without conflict, but its how you resolve your disagreements that is key.
I’d really love to hear from you on this one. What does marriage mean to you? Do you have traditional roles and views on it or are you all together more unconventional?