It’s so hard to write an article about a wedding dress that doesn’t yet exist. But here goes nothing!

When I think of my wedding and walking down the aisle, the last word that springs to mind is tradition. I’ve always been the black sheep of my family and proudly so. So, when it comes to wedding dresses, where do I even begin?

Will I be frowned upon for straying away from white? Do people have expectations? Or even worse, am I supposed to cover my tattoos? These were the questions that instantly flooded my mind when I first started looking for a wedding dress. Straying from the path, although may be brave, can be a very difficult process. I found myself at times feeling almost self-conscious when telling people the plans for my wedding dress. Fearing the judgement that may come with my decision to do what’s best for me.

Much like most of my life, I started unconventionally. Many of us know exactly what we want to wear and have been dreaming of it for years, but I found the ideas for my bridesmaids flowed much easier for me.

With a wedding set deep in the beautiful autumn foliage landscape of New Hampshire, I knew I wanted my bridesmaids to represent the autumn leaves. I cycled through what feels like endless colour swatches, you wouldn’t believe how many different variations of ‘rust’ there are.

Whilst looking upon my chosen bridesmaid colours and the amount of warmth they oozed, I realised that there was no way I wasn’t wearing green to my own wedding.

My fiancé, Ryan, always jokes that each goth girl has their own accent colour to compliment their overwhelmingly black wardrobe. And mine is most definitely green. After all, the signature green streak in my hair is one of the reasons Ryan and I had our chance first meeting. But where do I find a green wedding dress? Do they even make them?

Well after hours upon hours of searching online, I finally found the exact colour of green I wanted. In a skirt. Not ideal. But I didn’t let that deter me, in less than 10 minutes I had an appointment scheduled to see if a dress was possible. And unbeknownst to my mother, she would also be going on this journey with me.

The green was perfect; the fabric was soft as butter. But it really all came down to two things, can this be made into a dress? And how much?

It weighed heavy on my mind that I may only wear this dress once in my life, so should I be spending 10% of our budget on this? One thought kept coming back to me. This will be the dress I marry the love of my life in; this dress needs to embody me.

Truthfully, I’d marry Ryan wearing a black trash bag, a white trash bag even! But I’ve learnt a lot whilst trying to find the ‘perfect’ dress. Trust yourself. Ask for opinions if you aren’t sure but never lose sight of what’s important. The dress needs to be YOUR perfect dress, not anyone else’s. I want to look back on my wedding day with no regrets, and if that means shocking everyone when they get that first glimpse of me walking down the aisle. Then so be it!

I spent so much of my younger years worried about what people thought of my unconventional choices. And at times during this process, I think back to my younger self, and what would make her proud. Traditions are built in the past, but we’re in the future. So let your wedding reflect who you are, and be true to yourself.