The ‘perfect’ wedding is easy. All you have to do is just follow these simple steps: Choose a pretty venue, find a theme, and make it match. Send a Pinterest board of perfect to your perfectly-polished planner. And on the day, do the poses: smile, kiss, Hollywood dip.

Oh, and remember to cram in as many white outfits as possible. After all, this isn’t a day for personality. God no. This is a day for perfect.

But it’s all a little too tick-the-box, don’t you think? A little cookie-cut, a little…hollow.

Your wedding doesn’t have to be matching, or trending, or filled with Temu tat. It can be interesting, eclectic, and wonderfully different. Filled with character, and sentiment, and things that make you smile. Not paint-by-numbers perfection; but raw, ramshackle beauty.

So, today we’ll be taking a stroll through the lovably imperfect. From Marketplace finds, to mismatched styling, to family heirlooms, and pre-loved outfits.

Here’s a practical guide to planning a wedding with soul (without selling yours in the process).

There’s no place like home

The first thing to do is take stock of the things you already have. Search your loft for half-forgotten, once-loved things. Things warm with memory; family heirlooms from people you miss.

You could pin your bouquet with your granny’s brooch, have your childhood cuddly manning the pick-n-mix. Frame old family photos, or use that print-with-a-funny-story you got on your first holiday.

Be selective with it obviously (you don’t want it to look like your house threw up). But details with history beat “got it on Amazon” any day.

Now widen your net. Search your friends’ houses, your parents’ houses. Fuck it, search your neighbours’. You could even set up a wedding WhatsApp group for your friends and family. Whenever you’re about to buy something, ask around first to see if anyone has one already. Get creative with it, and you’ll be surprised how much of your wedding you can style for free.

And remember: you’re not being cheap! You’re being thrifty, eco-friendly, and grownup-level sensible. Besides, there’s no glamour in spending money you don’t have, on shit you don’t need, and then throwing it all away afterwards.

Mismatched misfits

We’re drawn to beauty, but we fall in love with flaws. Chips and cracks have stories; they hint at history, and add character. If every table is the same, they’ll blend together; if each is different, they’ll stand apart. So, when you’re looking for your styling details, don’t be afraid to celebrate imperfection.

Hit charity shops, boot fairs, and look out for anything that catches your eye. Iit could be anything- literally fucking anything. Vases, plates, pots, and glasses. Frames you could repurpose, tablecloths, knick knacks and gnomes…

The rules? There are none, and I guess that’s kinda the point.

Make a hobby of it, and go in with a canyon-open mind. Anything can be beautiful in the right company. If you instantly love it, add to cart.

Wear more than just clothes

I wish I’d used my dad’s wedding suit in my own outfit somehow. Fancy and fashionable? Probably not. But it would’ve meant a lot more to me than my Moss Bros three-piece.

When you’re choosing your outfits, look for things that are more than just clothes. Can your mum’s wedding dress be tailored? Can your dad’s suit? Can they be cut up, repurposed, or subtly incorporated into your look? Don’t be afraid to ask. They might say no, but I have a feeling they’d love to see you wearing a little piece of them.

No luck? Say it with me: Vinted! Find an outfit you love, and then keep an eye out for a pre-loved version. Et voila! You’re wearing your dream outfit, and you’ve saved yourself a fortune.

Most importantly, shake off that weird pressure to spend a shitload of money. Your wedding outfits don’t have to be white, traditional, new, or expensive. You don’t have to have a different ‘look’ for every part of the wedding experience. Choose something that makes you feel amazing, and wear that. You want to look good, but more than anything, you should feel like you.

Photos that make you goofy-smile

Our favourite photos are never the ones we posed for.  I mean sure, they’ll look great on your wall. But will you love them in twenty years’ time? Will you be goofy-smiling in the hallway and saying, “remember that time we posed?”.

Nah, the photos we love most are the moments we were *in*. Creases, and tears, and muddy shoes. Blurry from movement, and alive with laughter.

When you’re choosing your photographer, choose carefully. Chat to them over Zoom, and ask them in depth about their approach. How much time will they spend directing you? How much space will they give you? What’s the most important thing to them? And why?

If you want perfectly-polished photos, look for the word ‘editorial’ (your photos will be magazine-worthy, and they’ll probably pose the shit outta you to get them). If you want more natural, messy, in-the-moment shots, look for the word ‘documentary’ (they’ll give you space, mostly leave you to it, and tell your story as it unfolds).

Oh, and beware of any “documentary” photographer with uber-polished work. They’re not all they seem…

Marketplace is your friend

“One man’s trash is another man’s treasure”. From pretty little details, to loveable trinkets, to big, beautiful, once-extortionate things, Marketplace is an absolute goldmine for all things wedding. Because what are newlyweds going to do a giant welcome sign, an easel, 100 vases, 20 slate drawing boards afterwards? I mean seriously, what the fuck do you do with it all?! Keep it in the loft forever? Make multiple trips to the dump? They’d rather sell it to you for the cost of a takeaway, and just have you take it away.

So, here’s what you do. Firstly, keep your search radius wide, and keep checking multiple times a day. Bargains and freebies go quickly, and an hour in the car is better than buying new. Oh, and if you find something, check their profile to see what else they’re selling. Where one bargain is, others are sure to follow.

If you’re stuck for inspiration, go on Pinterest for ideas, and then search on Marketplace for the things you see. OR! If you’re feeling creative, you can use the listings *as* your inspiration. Find cool stuff, free stuff, fun little details, and then find ways to weave them into your styling.

Have fun with it! It’s cheap, it’s eco-friendly, and it’s a proper buzz when you find something good.

Find your own kind of beauty

As I’m writing this, I’m sitting in my office. My colourful, comfy, mismatched office. My fingers tap-dance across my laptop; a note from my wife, taped to the side. Beneath it, a cool little desk I found on Marketplace, bought for a tenner and fetched from some faraway farm. On the wall in front of me, a collection of memories: a photo of me and my friend, half-cut and hugging. A multicoloured cat I bought with my daughter at the fair. A decades-old note from my grandad, reminding me to be happy. Reminding me of him.

And none of it’s pretty, you know? It’s not magazine-stylish, it doesn’t all ‘match’. But it’s mine. My memories, my stuff, the things that make me smile. My point is, true beauty isn’t some how-to aesthetic. It’s something we feel, something we behold, something we give.

So, don’t chase that hollow hope of perfect. Fill your wedding with love, and memory, and moments with meaning. Create your own kind of beauty, and surround yourselves with the things that make you smile.