Getting engaged between Christmas and New Year hits in its own ridiculous, sparkly way. Fairy lights, leftover stuffing and suddenly you’re staring at a ring thinking “OMG this is it!”. Welcome to the newly engaged bubble. It’s sweet. It’s surreal. It’s the only time you get to sit in the glow before the wedding machine tries to drag you in by the ankles.

There’s so much to think about, and people loveeee to ask lots of (kinda annoying) questions right away like, “what’s your theme going to be?”, “have you set a date?”, “what should I wear?!” before you’ve even had to chance to revisit those wedding Pinterest boards you made in high school.

So hold up, because these are the things that you actually need to think about right now:

There is no rush

You don’t need instant answers and you don’t need to have a theme decided right away. Give yourselves time. Keep the announcement offline until you’ve had the chance to celebrate privately. A little quiet at the beginning makes everything else a bit easier.

Talk about what you actually want

Picture the vibe rather than the specific details. Because – spoiler alert – there are a million little wedding ideas you will come across between now and the big day. And you’ll probably change your mind about what you want approximately 10,583 times (which is totally normal). So instead of focusing on exactly what sort of flowers you prefer, ask yourselves:

💍 Do you imagine a big group or something tiny?
💍 Do you want a full rager of a party or something quiet and low key?
💍 Do you want to travel or stay close to home?
💍 Do you care about traditions and if so, which ones?
💍 What overall theme or aesthetic are you drawn to?

These decisions will shape the direction long before colour palettes enter the chat.

Set a realistic budget before you get emotionally attached to anything

Most wedding stress comes from money. You can avoid a huge chunk of that by having an honest conversation now.

Figure out:

💍 How much you can save throughout the planning
💍 Whether you want help from family and what that means
💍 Your top priorities
💍 Your flexible and non-negotiable areas

The average UK wedding cost sits around £20,000 to £24,000 according to recent surveys. Some couples spend far less and some spend far more but it is useful to know the ballpark before you make decisions. You can find out the average costs of different wedding elements in this article.

And if spreading the cost helps, ask your suppliers if they can allow you to pay in instalments or set up structured payment plans.

Create a rough planning timeline to avoid overwhelm

You don’t need a perfectly colour coded spreadsheet masterpiece. Just a simple timeline helps everything feel doable.

Here’s an easy structure:

First month
Talk about your priorities
Create a rough guest list
Work out your budget
Start venue research
Subscribe to Rock n Roll Bride magazine (duh!)

Months 2 to 4
Set your date and lock down your venue(s)
Book your photographer or videographer
Find a wedding planner (if you’re having one)
Draft your guest list

Months 5 to 8
Choose outfits
Book your caterer, hair and make-up, celebrant/ registrar
Choose entertainment
Find a florist and cakemaker
Any large rentals such as chairs, tables, marquee need to be sourced now too

Months 9 to 12
Send your invites
Plan the décor
Work on logistics
Create your schedule of the day

Final 3 months
Confirm everything
Final fittings and hair/ make-up trials
Buy the small touches
Pay final balances
Chase RSVPs (the worst part IMHO!)
Do the table plan
Write your vows

If you are having a shorter engagement you’ll just need to do everything a little closer together, but its totally possible whatever your timeline.

When to book suppliers

Some suppliers get booked fast. Others have more flexibility. As a general rule the suppliers who can only do one wedding per day are the ones you need to prioritise.

Book early
Venues
Photographers
Videographers
Planners
Celebrants
Bride’s dress

Book mid-way
Caterers
Florists
Bands and DJs
Hair and make-up
Menswear

Book later
Cake
Stationery
Props and rentals
Transport
Décor details
Favours
Wedding party outfits

If someone tells you everything is booked for the next five years, relax. Even if your top choice is gone, you will be able to find someone else wonderful!

Do not buy the little things too early

This is the part almost every couple trips over. You get excited. You buy shoes on sale. You grab a tiara because it’s really cute. You buy matching robes, an outfit for your dog and décor and think it will fit whatever you eventually plan.

Then your style evolves. You see yet another incredible idea on TikTok. Your colour palette changes. Your venue goes out of business. And suddenly the box of early purchases becomes landfill or a Vinted doom pile.

Get the foundation right before buying accessories. That means book your venue, choose the main parts of your outfit (dress, suit, whatever), have a solid idea for your theme and vibe before buying any of those fun little extras.

Stay on top of the essential admin

We get it, admin is boring, but it will be absolute chaos later if its ignored. Be sure to check legal requirements on how to give notice of marriage etc sooner rather than later. This is especially important if you’re getting married abroad or having a humanist or celebrant ceremony in England or Wales (where they are still not yet legal).

Set up a wedding-only email address

Not only will this keep quotes, contracts and confirmations in one place, it will stop your personal inbox becoming a dumping ground for wedding spam. And yes, there will be spam, especially if you enter competitions or sign up to anything at wedding shows. Future you also will be grateful when you can totally abandon the account the day after the wedding!

Subscribe to Rock n Roll Bride Magazine and grab our book!

One step you absolutely must not skip! You’re about to enter a world full of opinions, overwhelm and algorithm-fuelled nonsense. Our print magazine cuts through the noise.

Subscribe so you get fresh ideas, real budgeting help, styling guidance and features from actual experts which will keep you grounded.

And our editor even wrote a book! We’re biased ofc but it is genuinely the most useful, bullshit-free guide for anyone planning an alternative, personality-driven wedding. Keep it by your bed. Keep it in your bag. Keep it as your compass when Pinterest tries to kidnap you. You can find it anywhere you buy books (Amazon, Waterstones, Barnes and Noble etc) but buying it directly from us helps support what we do. She’ll even sign it for you.

Enjoy it!

You won’t get this period again. So try not to let things get on top of you and take away from this time. Keep it fun. Keep connected to each other. Let your planning unfold at a pace that feels enjoyable.