It is a truth universally acknowledged that an engaged woman in possession of a good wedding plan must be a bridezilla! Well, here at Rock n Roll Bride magazine, we don’t believe in such a thing. We don’t think you’re the villain at all. We think it’s all those bossy, nosy, old-fashioned relatives who keep sticking their oar in and trying to tell you what to do! So, let me don my bonnet and ready my carriage… because I’m about to set off with you… into the land of obstinate, headstrong girls…

250 years ago, an entirely unique, singularly brilliant, and incredibly rebellious woman was born. Jane Austen changed literature forever, creating the blueprint for every rom com we know and love today, and leaving a mark on this earth unlike any other writer, before or since. Though I’m certain she would have been completely scandalised by all of it, without Jane, we wouldn’t have Colin Firth coming out of that sexy lake, we wouldn’t have Bridget Jones’s enormous pants, we wouldn’t even have Bridgerton! Imagine that, a world without the universally acknowledged gorgeousness of Jonathon Bailey?! Unthinkable!

Austen never got married. Thankfully for us, it seems she didn’t want to risk the precious hours she could spend writing by becoming a wife! But she wrote about love and marriage in all six of her novels, and all six of her heroines get married in the end. Austen’s heroines, just like any modern-day rock ‘n’ roll bride, are brave enough to make their own choices and never give up. Often, they find themselves having to stand up to difficult relatives in order to stay true to what they believe in.

In Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth Bennet is visited by an outrageous snob called Lady Catherine de Bourgh, who happens to be Mr Darcy’s aunt. Now, I’m going to take a wild stab here and suggest that there is a probably a sizeable crossover between the readers of this magazine and Jane Austen. Austen’s novels are often a place of joyous escapism and comfort for many who might consider themselves outsiders, or have a penchant for doing things a little differently… a lot like Rock n Roll Bride!

Even if you’re not a reader of her books, you probably have a preference between the 1995 or 2005 adaptations of Pride and Prejudice (I’m a card-carrying 1995 gal myself, but I’m partial to some “excellent boiled potatoes” every now and then). So, I’m sure you already know that Lady Catherine has come to put a stop to any possible connection between Elizabeth and Mr Darcy. And when Lizzy refuses to comply, the Lady calls her an “obstinate, headstrong girl”.

Of course, Lady Catherine meant this to be a great insult, as though being a young woman who can stand up for herself is some sort of unfathomable horror. But the quote has become a proud emblem for countless Austen fans, engraved upon many a pin-badge and embroidered upon many a tote.

So, in the 250th anniversary of this rock n roll writer, while you are planning your rock ‘n’ roll wedding, why not embrace your inner Elizabeth Bennet? If anyone has had the audacity to call you a bridezilla, why not rebrand the insult? Why not embrace being an obstinate, headstrong bride!

Want to elope? Do it. W ant to wear black? Do it. Want to dance to the Pokémon Theme Song for your first dance, even though your spiteful sister has made you feel like an idiot for suggesting it? Absolutely do that one. What a great idea! Don’t want a religious ceremony, even though your parents have always pictured that for you? Don’t have one. Don’t want children or babies at the wedding? Go for it. Don’t want to invite a relative who has caused you emotional harm in the past just because you feel you “should” invite them? Simple… don’t invite them. Want to go to the town hall with your family and then head to the pub to meet your friends afterwards? Sounds beautiful. Want to have 500 of your nearest and dearest come to a fancy banquet ballroom in the tallest room of the tallest tower? Great! You do you. This is your wedding. Do. What. You. Want.

Obviously, don’t be rude. Don’t be mean. Don’t act like you’re the only person on the planet who matters and go out of your way to hurt anyone’s feelings. Elizabeth Bennet may have been an obstinate, headstrong girl but she was never rude! When Lady Catherine tried to frighten her into promising never to marry Darcy, Lizzy simply said she would “make no promise of the kind”. She didn’t call the old Lady a witch and throw her down the stairs.

Set your boundaries and respectfully say your piece.

“No thanks, Nan. That’s not what we want for our wedding day.”
“I hear you, Uncle Jack, but those views don’t align with our own.”
 “I know you pictured me wearing a white dress, Mum, but I hope you can see how much more confident and comfortable I am in black, and I hope you will be able to find joy in that instead.”
“I understand that our wish to not have children at our wedding means you won’t be able to make it. I accept and respect that. Thank you for respecting and accepting our wishes too. We can celebrate another time!”

Or, simplest of all, “no”. Sometimes, when all other routes of communication have been rebuffed, remember: “No” is a full sentence. And for those who have left you with no other option, frankly it’s the only response they deserve!

“There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others,” says Elizabeth Bennet. “My courage always rises with every attempt to intimidate me”. Don’t let anyone try to frighten you into doing what they want on your wedding day. Don’t let anybody make you feel like standing up for yourself makes you a bridezilla. Don’t let anyone else control the narrative of your love story. Elizabeth Bennet didn’t (except Jane Austen of course, the writer of that particularly love story!). So, be more Bennet! Be an obstinate, headstrong rock ‘n’ roll bride!