We are so excited to be having a gothic themed wedding. I am wearing black and we love skulls and Halloween! How do I find wedding suppliers who actually get the gothic vibe and won’t try to make me wear white, put my bridesmaids in blush pink or have centrepieces made of peonies?

First off, this sounds amazing and I am pleased to tell you there are loads of suppliers out there who love working on weddings like yours! You’re making a great start by reading Rock n Roll Bride! Have a look through all the real wedding stories and adverts and see which suppliers are featured. Looking at real past weddings they’ve worked on is a great way to get an idea of the kind of work they do. 

You can also search social media using search terms like #gothicweddingsuppliers, #alternativeweddingsuppliers, #darkwedding, #halloweenwedding and so on. The algorithm will start doing its thing and you will have a feed full of it.

Join alternative wedding Facebook groups for word-of-mouth recommendations and check out alternative wedding directories that will have a list of suppliers and what they specialise in. Alternative wedding fayres are also a fun way to find your tribe and once you connect with one awesome supplier, they’ll be able to recommend more people who totally get it!

Or, if you really want to take the stress out of it, hire an alternative wedding planner (like me!) who can find all these spooky-soul suppliers for you, so you don’t have to.

What should we look for when choosing a photographer and thinking about our photos for a darker, moodier wedding? We are having a late ceremony in November (4pm) so it will be dark for most of the wedding…

When searching for your photographer use search terms like moody, dramatic lighting, gothic, and alternative. Then check out their portfolios. Have they taken photos in the style you are looking for? Their work should already showcase dark tones, deep shadows, night shots and rich contrast. You want someone who embraces contrast, shadow, and mood.

Ask them if they are comfortable shooting in low-light or night conditions. They should know how to use ambient lighting, candles, string lights, chandeliers, to create the atmosphere. They should be excited by your vibe, not confused by it.

Always have an engagement shoot with your chosen photographer, this way you can see firsthand how they work before the day.

What if my guests don’t “get” our alternative theme. We really want people to dress on theme but I’m worried about being annoying or that people won’t bother. How can we make it easy for them to join in the fun?

I would offer a low-pressure guide in your invitations.

Be clear on what the theme is and why it means a lot to you both. Give ideas and inspiration, with low-cost options ‘even a headpiece counts’ and maybe have accessories at the door. Could even have a low-key incentive, like a prize for best dressed on theme.

People want to have fun at weddings, but many just need permission and examples. I think you’ll be surprised by how many people get into it.

How do we create a gothic vibe without going full haunted house? We want our wedding to feel elegant, not cheesy!

You can absolutely create a dark, romantic and elegantly gothic atmosphere without slipping into haunted house territory. Focus on a rich, moody colour palette across your décor, florals and stationery – think deep jewel tones with antique gold or brass accents.

Channel gothic Victorian cathedral vibes with vintage mirrors, velvet tablecloths, antique cutlery lanterns, candles and statement florals in urns. Skeletons and ravens can still work, if they’re styled more sparingly.

Working with a stylist who understands your vision can also help bring the gothic elegance to life while keeping it cohesive and elevated.

About the Author

Jodie (she/her) runs Ella Bella Weddings and Events She plans wildly fun, rule-breaking weddings for the weirdos, the neurospiceys, the gays and the theys. From gothic vibes to full-blown fantasy themes, she’s all about celebrant-led magic, outdoor adventures and planning a wedding that is unapologetically you. Follow her on Instagram @ellabellaweddingsandevents