Taylor Swift just got engaged, and the internet is already losing its collective mind. Will she wear a fairytale ballgown or a something more modern and fashion forward? Will it be a castle in Europe or a backyard in Tennessee? Whatever she does, the headlines say, will set the tone and trends for weddings for years to come.

Here’s the thing: it doesn’t have to set the tone for yours.

Every time a celebrity gets engaged, there’s a wave of speculation about how their choices will trickle down to everyone else. People talk about how trends will shift, how styles will copycat, how suddenly every wedding will be shaped by one person’s highly public, highly resourced celebration. But unless you are Taylor Swift (and if you are, hi, we need to talk), your wedding isn’t a PR campaign. It doesn’t need to be a cultural moment, and it doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s.

Celebrities get married with stylists, sponsorships, and a global audience. Most of us get married with real budgets, real families, and real lives happening in the background. And that’s not a bad thing. In fact, it’s liberating. Because it means you get to choose without the weight of the world watching. You don’t have to worry about “influencing the industry.” You only need to make it meaningful to you and your partner.

And if you do want to borrow an idea from Taylor’s wedding, that’s fine too (but don’t forget, we also just published Dave Navarro and Vanessa DuBasso’s wedding – and holy shit, it was cool).

Inspiration isn’t the problem. The problem is the expectation, the pressure to feel like your choices are only valid if they line up with whatever’s hot in pop culture.

It’s the noise, the hype, the PR machine around the whole thing. If you could see how many press releases I’ve already had from brands trying to shoehorn what might Taylor choose into every product they sell, you’d lose your mind.

The truth is, your wedding doesn’t need to be trend-setting to be powerful. It doesn’t need to be photographed for Vogue, featured in Rock n Roll Bride, or spark a thousand Pinterest boards to be memorable. The most radical thing you can do is ignore the noise, cut out the comparisons, and build a day that feels like yours.

Taylor Swift’s wedding will be fascinating to watch. The outfits, the guest list, the drama – of course we’ll all look. But don’t forget: her love story is hers. Yours is yours. And the only person who gets to define your wedding aesthetic is you.