Having an Alternative Wedding is now a Trend (Apparently)

Breaking News! Meghan Markle is to do a speech at her own wedding! WHAT A WORLD THIS IS 🙄

Yesterday I received an ‘urgent’ phone call from a journalist at The Sun newspaper asking if I could help her put together a piece on the “alternative wedding trend” that “a lot of brides seem to be doing these days.” This was in response to the breaking news that Meghan Markle has decided to do a speech at her wedding to Prince Harry this summer. I internally chuckled as she went though a few different aspects of a wedding that they wondered if people were now doing differently (bride not walking down the aisle with her father, a white dress not being the only option, no fancy three-tiered wedding cake, no sit down meal etc) and eye-rolled extra hard into my cup of English Breakfast when she asked if I cared to comment.

I’m not trying to be a bitch, but seriously, WHAT? Since when did a woman wanting to stand up at her own goddamn wedding make worldwide headline news? I know this is a royal wedding and all, and any departure from tradition is going to make a big splash but jeeeeeeeeeez, is this 2018 or 1958!?

I didn’t speak at our wedding, but I was only 24 and not very confident standing up in front of a whole room full of people. Yet if I was getting married now OF COURSE I’d want to say a few words. It’s not even about making some kind of feminist stand, its just about being an equal and also wanting to thank all those people who helped us get to this point. I’m not one to want to ever just sit back like a little woman and let my husband speak for me. Ironically I’m now actually way more confident speaking in front of people, much moreso than Gareth. In fact if we were to get married now it wouldn’t surprise me at all if I did the main speech and he sat back and relaxed instead!

Until they announced their engagement I hadn’t really followed Meghan and Harry’s relationship, or known anything about her at all. But the more I hear about them as people the more I actually really like them. I feel like they’re wonderfully progressive role models for a lot of people (kids and adults alike). The fact that they’re royals is kind of beside the point, but it does give them an extra large public platform to stand on and talk about the issues they believe in.

Although in my opinion this “news” isn’t really news at all, I do hope it will encourage more brides, or women in general, to speak at weddings. I did a speech with another bridesmaid at Sophie’s wedding in the summer and come to think of it now, I guess that’s pretty darn alternative too. I’d love to see a new normal set out when it comes to the speeches though. Why shouldn’t the women speak too? The mums, the bride, the maids of honour?  Why is it all down to the groom to (usually disingenuously – sorry) say how great the bridesmaids look and how lovely the flowers are? Wouldn’t it have so much more sentiment if it came from the bride who actually gave a flip about how her BFFs looked and spent days agonising over which flowers to choose? (I know this is a mass generalisation but for the most part we all know it’s the girls who care more about these things than the boys do).

So whether you chose to do a speech at your wedding or not, whether you want to walk down the aisle with your dad or your mum or your goddamn self, whether you wear white or green or the entire freakin’ rainbow, I hope you do so because it feels like YOU and the perfect way to celebrate who you are as a couple. Isn’t that what having an “alternative” wedding is all about anyway?

Supporting Cast

15 comments

  1. Kristen Lavin

    YAAAAAAAAAS! I walked myself down the aisle, and told my mother it was because she raised me to walk on my own. I played my own music as I did, on my grandmother’s ukulele. My 91 year old conservative grandfather smiled and told me “only you could do that and have it be perfectly natural.” Every bride’s day should be totally them and totally natural. Thanks for all you do to keep it real. <3

  2. Agree. Things like “standing up and giving a speech” at your wedding shouldn’t be considered alternative. It should be considered normal. We are in 2018. Equality should be normal. Alternative weddings should be rainbow dresses and a pizza buffet.

  3. Post author

    “Alternative weddings should be rainbow dresses and a pizza buffet” I AM SO DOWN WITH THIS. BRING ON THE PIZZA.

  4. Kelly Burton

    I’m not even engaged to be married but I BLOODY LOVE THIS! Screw what society says do what you want not what you “should” do! Yaaasss all for this and just love how’s to the point and honest you are! Yaaass just yasss!

  5. I’m glad I’m not the only one who doesn’t give two hoots about the royal wedding or consider it particularly newsworthy. Who gives one? Sure, I hope they have a lovely day and all, but remember the wedding does not the marriage maketh 🖤

  6. Rita M.

    Hahaha having that reporter call you about the “new hot trend” is hilarious. Though I am glad to see that more people (via a highly publicized wedding) can be introduced to the idea that your wedding is what you freaking want it to be! Woo to alternative weddings!

  7. Hitting the nail on the head as always Kat! When I first saw the news headline I first thought ‘you go Meghan’ closely followed by ‘how the fuck is this a headline in 2018!?’ And why aren’t more people questioning that. As well as all out of date and sexist traditions. Me and my husband did a speech today even though if terrified me to speak in front of people there was no way I was going to sit there in silence while all the men speak for me

  8. Jojo Bee

    1099900% agree. We’ve had issues with our wedding as we both want to change our surnames to be the same, totally new nam (not a meshed or double barrelled one!), and his parents are totally freaking out about it. Apparently if they had a daughter things would be different *mega eye roll*. Anyway we are doing it anyway, along with my bright hair, my brother as flower dude, a cabaret instead of a wedding band and more. A wedding is you. Let it be you!

  9. Natalie

    Couldn’t agree more, I’m k own for being a chatterbox and we were even going to make the joke of… Well of course I’m going to make a speech, it’s me!! Xx🤩

  10. I always try to encourage my brides to do a speech if they ask me about whether it’s “normal”. I also add that their mum or bridesmaids can also speak if they want to! I’ve known quite a few women to speak at weddings, so its definitely improving… but still not as much as men

  11. Brid Ryan

    I loved giving my speech at our wedding, for so many reasons. Firstly, I paid for half of it so I wanted my moment in the spotlight. Also, being feminist, equality with my husband is very important to me, and to him. And thirdly, I felt it was more sincere if I thanked the people important to me and my husband thanked the people important to him. Including him, who else was going to stand up and say how great he looked on the day too?
    Both my parents walked me down the aisle and we had a cheese board instead of a cake…so if Meghan Markle needs any other tips she can contact me. Or subscribe to Rock And Roll Bride magazine!

  12. DUMBBB! Lol. I totally agree (although I’m all for Earl Grey), every wedding is unique, couples are all alternative and non-traditional in some manner AND the bride or the other groom SHOULD absolutely speak at their wedding (if they are comfortable). Stories like the one that reporter was trying to create are the reason why there is such a dichotomy of gender or sexual preferences or race (white or not lol). Good for you and your eye rolls!

  13. Yay! Love this. Out of all my weddings it was the girls speeches that really stood out. Super funny, smart, emotional – they had it all and SO good seeing more women take the centre stage. I think it should totally down to be who wants to talk. If you’re the chatty one, get up there and talk, male or female.

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