Last week I received the following email from Green Room reader Kristi,
“I would love to see a post about husband & wife teams (or working with your spouse/partner etc) but in a super honest way. I feel like all the husband & wife teams out there only talk about the good and not the real challenges.
I myself have always hated the phrase ‘husband & wife team’ because it makes it sound like we were matching jogging suits and finish each other’s sentences. When that is totally not us. We are more likely to argue about the shot one of us missed or the one of us choosing too many of our own photos etc. Please can you help?!
P.S Viva la Rock n Roll Bride!
Well Kristi that’s what I’m here for – and we all know I’m going to be as super honest as possible! As one half of an accidental husband & wife team (the initial plan for Rock n Roll Bride was never for us to work together) there have been a lot of steep learning curves that we’ve had to navigate along the way. We’ve had to make changes to how we live and work, mostly without any forward planning (I’m sure ‘proper’ business people are shuddering right now) but I do think we have somehow made it work. Like with anything business-related I think it’s very easy to look at other husband & wife combos and think they’ve got it made, when of course, deep down, we all know they’re only sharing the good stuff and keeping the real nitty gritty and blazing rows under wraps. It’s certainly not all high fives and long lunches in our house, but there are a few conscious decisions and changes that we’ve made along the way, all of which have made a huge difference to our work/life balance.
Be honest with each other, don’t be afraid to hurt the other person’s feelings but be respectful
This is a toughy because on one side you love this person more than life itself, but on the other they drive you crazy! And well all know this isn’t limited to the business side of a relationship either… Gareth & I aren’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination and we of course still have disagreements about the blog. However like in any relatiopnship (intimate or working) one of the fundamentals of making it work is communication, and when you are both lovers and business partners this is even more paramount.
Luckily we’ve always spent a lot of time together (before Rock n Roll Bride I worked night shifts at the shopping channel and Gareth ran his own IT business from home) so it’s never really been strange for us to be in each other’s pockets all hours of the day. However just being together is a very different matter to having to work together, and having to make decisions as one. Of course when it comes to disagreements each of us always thinks we’re the one in the right so how do we get to that happy place of being adult enough to listen to each others view point as well as getting our own ideas across?
I stole this quote from my new favourite book (seriously, have you bought it yet? It’s bloody brilliant!)