We keep hearing terms like registrar, religious, humanist and celebrant-led ceremonies. It’s all very confusing! What’s the difference between each option and who actually has the legal authority to marry us?

There are several different ways to get married in the UK, and these vary depending on which country you live in.

Couples who are religious may want a wedding led by a vicar, priest, rabbi, or other religious leader. In England and Wales, broadly, this can be legally recognised if it takes place in a building licensed for marriages. If you’re having a religious wedding, do check that your ceremony will fulfil the legal requirements.

Non-religious couples can choose between having a civil marriage led by a registrar, or a ceremony led by a humanist or independent celebrant, and doing the legal formalities separately.

A registrar marriage ceremony is a civil ceremony conducted by a government appointed registrar. These legal ceremonies must adhere to specific requirements and are held at a registry office or a licensed venue.

If you want a wedding ceremony that’s meaningful and personal to you, and reflects values of equality, compassion, and humanity, a humanist wedding could be the right choice for you.

Currently, legal humanist marriage is recognised in Northern Ireland, the Channel Islands, and Scotland. In England and Wales, couples must still have a civil ceremony as well.

What makes a humanist wedding different to a registrar marriage?

Civil weddings are formal ceremonies conducted by a registrar. They are an efficient way to become legally married, but are often very generic, with limited opportunity for personalisation. You may not be able to include personal vows, readings, or symbolic gestures, and it is unlikely you will meet your registrar before the day of your wedding.

A humanist wedding is very different; your ceremony is created with your participation, and is unique to you. Your humanist celebrant will take time to get to know you as a couple, learning about your story and what matters most to you. Together, you will craft a ceremony that reflects your relationship, with no generic script. Humanist ceremonies can also take place at any location and at any time, so you can have your wedding on a beach, in your back garden, anywhere that suits you.

Why are humanist and independent celebrant-led ceremonies still not legally recognised in England and Wales, when they are in other countries?

Marriage law is a not controlled by one single UK-wide system, meaning there are separate laws in England and Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland. In Scotland, humanist weddings were read into marriage law in 2005, and since then over 50,000 legally recognised humanist weddings have taken place. Similarly, in Northern Ireland, humanist couples won equal marriage recognition in 2018, and they are now 15% of all marriages.

England and Wales’ marriage law currently only enables civil or religious weddings to take place. However, the Government has announced that it plans to grant legal recognition to humanist marriages in England and Wales as part of its wider marriage review plans. Humanists UK is campaigning for the Government to grant legal recognition without delay.

If we want a humanist ceremony in England or Wales, what are our realistic options right now?

Couples choose to do this in one of the following ways:

1. Either before or after your humanist ceremony, you have your legal marriage at a register office. You need only the statutory ceremony (sometimes called a 2 + 2) which costs approximately £56 (certificates extra). This is the most frequent choice for couples.

2. If your chosen venue is licensed for civil marriages, you can conduct the legal part there with a registrar, and then continue with your humanist ceremony. This is a more expensive option, though, as you will be paying a fee for the registrars to attend.

OK you’ve convinced us this is what we want! What steps do we now have to take to get it all booked in and sorted?

To find your Humanist Ceremonies celebrant, visit our Find a Celebrant page (humanists.uk/ceremonies/find-a-celebrant/weddings) and search for someone local to you or close to your chosen venue. Take time to read through their profiles and reach out to a few celebrants to arrange a chat. This gives you the chance to get to know them, ask questions, and see who feels like the right fit before booking your special date.

About the Author

Deborah Hooper is Director of Ceremonies at Humanists UK. She is also an accredited Humanist Ceremonies celebrant, for weddings, naming ceremonies, and funerals.