I want to get married but the whole wedding industry feels so consumerist. Can a wedding ever really be ethical, or am I kidding myself?

Of course it can. But you’re right, the wedding industry today feels far more consumerist than it did when I first started working in eco weddings 20 years ago. At its heart, a wedding is a ritual and celebration of two people choosing to commit. Everything else is optional.

That means you’re not kidding yourself but the key is to be intentional. If you’re making choices because they truly matter to you, not because Instagram, Pinterest or tradition told you to, then you’re already steering away from consumerism. An ethical wedding isn’t about stripping everything back to the bare bones, it’s about aligning your spending with your values. That could mean prioritising people and experiences over “stuff”, cutting out trends that don’t resonate, and supporting suppliers who are creating beautiful things with respect for people and planet.

We care about sustainability and anti-capitalist values, but also want a proper celebration with our family. How do you balance that without feeling like a sellout? I’m also worried about things like food waste, single-use décor, and fast fashion. What swaps actually make the biggest impact?

Sustainability isn’t about perfection; it’s about making better choices where you can. You can have a joyful, abundant wedding and still hold onto your values. Start by minimising waste and excess, and resist spending money on things that don’t matter to you but feel like “expectations”. That simple step avoids a lot of unconscious consumerism.

Food waste: talk to your venue or caterer, and choose people who already think sustainably. You could opt for family-style service so guests only take what they want. I’ve also seen some couples set up food-waste stations so leftovers are separated and composted.

Décor: instead of buying throwaway items, look into hire companies (there are specific sustainable ones too), second-hand finds, or buying pieces you’ll use again in your home.

Fashion: there are exquisite sustainable options at every budget – from sustainable bridal designers (even options under £1,000), to hire options, to second-hand and vintage. When looking for ethical rings there are artisan designers working with Fairmined gold, recycled metals, or ethical gemstones. Reworking family jewellery is another beautiful, meaningful and sustainable choice.

The biggest-impact swaps? Guest list, venue, food, outfits, rings, and décor. These are usually the largest budget items and the ones that carry the most environmental weight. Tweak even a couple of those and you’re making a big difference.

We are having a low budget and DIY wedding – not just for budget reasons but because we want something that truly feels like us. However, I can’t help but be tempted to make more and more things we don’t really need. I guess I still want our wedding to be cute! Does DIY wedding actually challenge the system, or just recreate it on a smaller, cheaper scale?

Back when I got married in 2011, DIY really did mean handmade – a few crafted details we enjoyed making, often to save money. What I’m seeing now is “DIY” being used as a cover for mass-purchasing cheap décor from Temu or Amazon – and that’s not challenging the system at all, it’s just feeding it.

A more radical approach is DIT – “do it together” – bringing in friends and family to help. My granny hemmed Ikea tea towels into napkins for my wedding, and friends of my parents set up the tables and candles. That sense of community is the heart of DIY done well, and resisting capitalism.

If you want your DIY to actually challenge the system, pause before buying or making and ask:

🍃 Does this align with what matters most to us?
🍃 Does this reduce waste, reuse something, or support local skills/resources?
🍃 Will this still feel meaningful to us after the wedding, or will it become clutter?

That mindset will keep your DIY rooted in authenticity, not consumerism dressed up as craft.

I want to spend my money in ways that feel good, but I also don’t want to turn my wedding into a political statement. How do you find that middle ground?

One of the simplest ways is to choose sustainable and ethical suppliers. They’re already doing the work – from florists growing seasonal flowers without plastic foam, to venues with sustainability strategies, to caterers sourcing locally and avoiding waste. You could plan your whole wedding this way and most of your guests would have no idea it was “different” – they’d just see a beautiful celebration.

It doesn’t need to feel like a political performance and you don’t have to announce every choice. But when you do share, it comes across as inspiring and generous – “we chose this because it felt right for us” – not preachy. The more couples who normalise sustainable choices, the more the industry will shift, and that’s how real change will happen.

About the Author

Charlie Burton is the founder of The Natural Wedding Company, where she’s been guiding couples for nearly two decades to create weddings rooted in sustainability and what matters most to them, not fleeting trends. As the founder of one of the UK’s first eco wedding directories, she’s become a trusted voice in the industry – her work a quiet rebellion against the pressure to “do it all,” offering couples the confidence to choose meaning over excess.