We are planning a wedding on a limited budget and are scared of getting ripped off. Tales of ‘wedding tax’ and unscrupulous vendors really scare us! We are happy to pay what things are worth of course, but researching different suppliers and their prices online only makes us feel more overwhelmed.

Let me immediately put your mind at rest: the idea of the unscrupulous wedding tax is a myth. It’s a scary tale that winds everyone up, from those planning their wedding and having the fear dialled up to 11 that they might be being fleeced, to wedding suppliers who have to endure their reputations being dragged through the mud as makers of a quick buck at your expense. “If you don’t say it’s a wedding, but rather a party, you can save £££s!” comes the well-worn advice. I mean, yes… But what you’ll end up with is a party and not a wedding! Two totally different things. A few bunches of supermarket flowers won’t decorate a venue. Nor arrange themselves. Nor last the day and beyond. A white dress from the high street won’t have the same drama, structure or occasion, never mind be fitted bespoke to your body. What you’re paying for with a wedding supplier is their expertise, experience, and time taken to build the relationship with you to understand your wishes for your wedding and to then create that for you ‘just so’. Also, don’t forget that just because a supplier is out of your budget range doesn’t mean that they’re being a rip-off. There is literally someone for every budget. And they all have the same aim of making your day the best they can for you.

I keep hearing that you should ‘trust your gut’ when choosing wedding suppliers, but that feels vague and unhelpful. What are some tangible red flags to watch for when meeting with vendors?

I would flip this on its head and look for the green flags. Begin with suppliers’ social media presence. You’ll get a head start on not only their work and style from their posts, and whether that aligns with your own vision for your wedding day, but also what they’re like personality-wise from their posts. Next stop is their about page on their website. These usually go more in-depth about who they are, their values, and what made them go into business. After this initial recce, you can’t beat going for a meeting, so get yourself to a wedding fair you know they’re exhibiting at, arrange a meeting in a café or even a video call! You’ll definitely know if you gel with each other, face-to-face. And I’d add that trusting your gut actually goes a long way – after all, instinct has been with us since forever and it’s there for a reason! Just back it up with all those other practical things to set your mind at ease.

I’m so worried I’m making decisions I’m going to hate in a year’s time when it actually comes round to the day. How do I make decisions that I know I won’t regret?

It can be absolutely overwhelming trying to navigate the sheer number of options you have when it comes to planning your day. It’s become trendy to actively avoid calling it ‘the big day’ as if it’s the most important day of your life, but it is a big day!! And, as such, yes there’s a pressure to make the ‘right’ decisions. I feel that some of this might stem from striving to be timeless. No such thing! Try to remember that if you were planning the wedding ten years ago, or ten years in the future, your decisions, as far as style goes, would be utterly different! Take the pressure off chasing the impossible. As long as you stay true to yourselves and style in the here and now, there’s very little possibility that you’ll regret anything. The other pitfall that I think drives this fear is when we try to please everyone else, wandering far from our own wants to appease others, and that’s when decisions that feel misaligned with who we are get made. So, ignore any opinions like you should hide your tattoos, invite family you’ve never met before, or only wear white. This list is not exhaustive. Believe me!! Go your own way, listen to yourself, and design a day that truly lights you up. And if you do regret some details, remember you married your love, so really everything is OK!

About the Author

Erin Balfour (she/her) is the editor of Dream Lovers Weddings. A print magazine that helps modern, creative lovers plan a wedding day that’s true to them and their style. Issue 1 out this year.