Surviving Your Wedding When You Don’t Feel Beautiful

you are beautiful

I’m not going to lie to you, I’ve cried too many tears over my weight. I had an eating disorder for ten years and although I was technically recovered by the time I came to walk down the aisle, it was still at the forefront of my mind when planning the wedding.

My thoughts of self-loathing reared their ugliest head when it came to choosing my dress of course. I was worried that I’d never find one that I felt good in. I was worried that I’d be uncomfortable all day. I was worried that I’d look back at my wedding photos and cry because I looked so enormous.

There seems to be two main schools of thought when it comes to body image, weight and weddings. There are those, like me now, that believe you should focus on being healthy and not stress yourself out by trying to lose weight before the wedding. Then there are others that go on a diet or sign up to some kind of sadistic bridal bootcamp torture as soon as that sparkler is slipped onto their finger.

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The latter makes me so very sad. I just wish these people knew how much happier they’d be without putting that extra pressure on themselves, and that on the day, how much they weigh will be the very last thing on their minds. But, believe me I get it, accepting your body the way it is can be difficult for even the most confident people.

I haven’t weighed myself since I was in my early 20s (it was a huge trigger for my disordered eating) but I think I was a little bit heavier on our wedding day. When I look back at our photographs I can see this, sure, but it doesn’t devastate me like I thought it would. I don’t look back and see the weight, I look back and see our happy beaming faces and the inexplicable joy that radiates from every single image.

I don’t think anything can prepare you for how you’ll feel on your wedding day. I didn’t think about my weight or my body once. I didn’t walk down the aisle worrying about how I looked, I practically ran down the aisle, desperate to see and marry Gareth.

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For probably the first time in my life I felt completely gorgeous. I adored and felt comfortable in my dress and everybody told me how beautiful I looked.  But more importantly, I felt loved. By Gareth, by my friends, and by my whole family who were there to celebrate with us. Nothing else mattered.

I know body image and weight can be a huge stress and burden for so many of you. I feel you, I’ve been there… in fact many days I am still there. But your size or how your body looks does not determine your lovability. Your wedding day will be amazing because you are amazing, and because you are marrying an amazing person who loves every last amazing inch of you.

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Supporting Cast

55 comments

  1. Post author

    Jessie – the cream ones are Irregular Choice. Not sure about the green ones though xoxo

  2. Jamie

    Thanks for yhis. I have spent many years battling anorexia so I know how it feels. Recovered now but constantky still battling it in my own mind ever day and it so hard. Panicking my wedding photos won’t look good because I have never been happy with how I look. I hope many brides to be look at themselves in a new light after reading this. Xxx

  3. What a lovely article. I believe that every woman is naturally beautiful and that by going with our own natural style we find our own unique beauty. I remember a lady who was convinced her legs were like treetrunks, whereas to me they were graceful, curved legs that perfectly suited who she was. When we don’t like something about ourselves it is usually because we haven’t learnt to accept an aspect of ourselves, and sometimes that turns out to be something brilliant. That said, I have definitely not learnt to accept my belly, brought on by living too close to Ottolenghi’s! And I do think it’s worth eating healthily in the run up to one’s wedding day, not so as to feel stressed, but so as to feel fabulous and enjoy it all the more.

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