Post It Notes: 9th December 2011: Positive Influence

Image Credit: Zsazsa Bellagio

In many working environments there is a undulating undercurrent of moans and groans from disgruntled employees. For example, when I worked at the shopping channel we bitched about the length of our shifts, the amount of product we were expected to flog sell, the quality of said product, the air conditioning (or lack thereof), the mess in the green room… you get the picture! In fact I got so used to the daily moans and groans that I’d think nothing of it. I’d never stop to think how it affected my overall mood or attitude to the job. It just felt normal.

I’ve spent a lot of my life being depressed. I spent a lot of my life being sad. I spent a lot of my life wishing I was someone else and complaining about my terrible luck. It was easy to make excuses as to why I felt so bad, but you know what, there were many things I was doing that didn’t help. I was drawn to the negative, the dark, the desolate. I read books about it, I joined internet forums about it, I made friends with similarly minded people. In essence I did nothing to make myself feel better.

I don’t want to be that person anymore. I want to surround myself with positive people, and be the kind of person that is a positive influence on others.

Sounds obvious right? I do have a point, I promise…

It may sound trite and idealistic but I can’t express enough how much happier I am because I’ve eliminated negative influences from my life (and my business). I also can’t express how massive a difference it’s made to how I feel about myself.

via Little Chief Honeybee (original source unknown)

My blog is not a democracy. My Twitter is not a democracy. My Facebook page is not a democracy. If someone feels the need to bitch or moan in my happy place, well sorry but they’re getting blocked. Sounds harsh, but baby, I want Rock n Roll Bride to be a positive place, I want to be in a positive place. Quite simply, I don’t owe anything to negative people and neither do you.

I’ve been asked many times how I deal with internet negativity and haters and my answer is simple (if not very revolutionary)…I just don’t let them in. It’s taken me a while to realise the massive effect these kinds of people can have on me, but these days I don’t follow negative people on Twitter, I don’t allow unnecessarily mean comments on my blog and I don’t let the hateful emails get to me, which of course is often easier said than done.

I also now make a huge effort (and sometimes it is a HUGE effort) to not let any sneaky negative thoughts leak out onto my social media or blog posts. This is actually a pretty recent development for me, I’m the first to admit that I have had the odd social media rant-fest in the past, but just in the last few months alone I feel a hell of a lot better for stopping it!

You know, I can’t possibly make everyone like me, nor what I do, and that’s fine. There’s no point me wasting the time that I could be using to improve my business on negativity.

It is fundamental to me that I surround myself with positive people – friends, clients and role models. As I said before, I spent a huge portion of my life being depressed and it sucks. I also spent five years in a job that in retrospect I was heavily influenced by negative attitudes. That sucked too.

I did enjoy my life as a TV producer, but as a wedding blogger I’m so much happier. And not just because I enjoy the actual work more, no, becuase I’m surrounded by positivity.

If you do something/work with someone that makes you feel blue then STOP. Illuminate. Ignore. It will make a maaahuuusvie difference to your attitude and your life.

Pinky swear.

56 comments

  1. Well said. Exactly why I am not on any forums anymore. Twitter is far nicer in the way that people cannot bitch and moan opening (for the most part anyway). Because forums are closed to the public they can get way to negative for my liking. Good for you for stopping the social media rants ;) God knows it can be hard not to blurt things out – but in a week’s time you would have forgotten all about it anyways.

  2. Just catching up on blogs etc now there is some time and loved reading this one. Well done, this is a hard one to learn and also very hard to be so open and admit that there are people/jobs that you just can’t stand!! But life is too short and so much better when everything is dealt with and changes made. But a great place to be when all is rosy!

  3. Kirsty

    This has just be added to my favourites :)

    My dad has always said to me ever since I was little “Attitude is everything and attitude is personal choice” and “Treat others how you would like to be treated” I always remember this and my dad is my positive shiny star

    Kirsty x

  4. I was just referred to this post by a friend after fretting about an outright rude and uncalled for comment was posted to my blog and what I should do about it. I worried so much about ‘censorship’ and being democratic, but you are so right – it is my space and don’t want that kind of negativity polluting it. Thank you for the courage to hit ‘delete’ and to block that nastiness from my life!

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