Tag Archives: wedding planning advice

Avoiding Pre-Wedding Fights (Don’t Worry, It Happens)

Perfect wedding venue? Check.
Gorgeous wedding dress? Check.
Constant bickering with your betrothed? Double check.

What? Fighting? That’s not on your pre-wedding checklist! Yet, unfortunately, having a few
squabbles with your partner usually comes with the territory of planning your wedding, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. To prevent your fights from becoming fully-fledged feuds that make you think ‘let’s just call the whole thing off and elope’ there are some tactics that come into play.
If your stress levels have reached an all-time high, keep calm, collected and read on. Here’s how to keep the peace and ensure your wedding is fantastically fight-free.

Set aside time for wedding talk

I’ve seen it a thousand times: someone who uses every excuse under the sun to bring up the
wedding – and it drives their partner absolutely crazy. It’s natural to be fully invested in creating your ideal wedding, but a line has to be drawn somewhere. It shouldn’t consume your entire life to the point that you’re so sick of your wedding months before it’s even happened.

The feeling that your partner is not invested in your wedding can also lead to a serious
disagreement. To avoid this, set aside time for the two of you to discuss it. Set a reminder on your phone, get cozy on the couch and communicate everything wedding-related that’s on your mind. No in-laws or best friends allowed! This sacred time is for the two of you to feel totally comfortable to express your expectations, dreams and concerns for your big day.

Don’t sweat the small stuff

It’s no secret that planning a wedding is a big project. From the venue to the bridesmaid dresses to the date of the wedding, there are big decisions that need to be made. Then there are also the smaller decisions like the colour of the napkins or the tiny flowers you want as part of your hairstyle.

The sheer number of decisions you have to make is enough to make anyone go crazy – especially if these decisions are to be shared with your partner. To keep the peace (and your sanity) don’t place a huge focus on the tiny details. I can tell you now, none of your guests are going to notice if the colour of your tablecloths is ivory or eggshell.

Think win-win

One of you wants a traditional low-key, low-cost wedding with close family and friends. The other wants an extravagant Game of Thrones wedding with everyone from your gym instructor to your second cousin twice removed in attendance. Although you’re going to try your best to avoid fighting with your fiancé, disagreeing on something is bound to happen. When it does, it’s how the two of you react to the argument that sets the tone for your wedding day (and the rest of your lives together).

When you and your partner have a squabble, it’s important to think win-win; how can you both benefit from the optimal solution? Don’t try to achieve a personal victory of getting your own way – remember, you’re in this together. If you’re at a stalemate then this is where the art of compromisation and knowing when to pick your battles comes in!

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Shades of Beauty: Make Up Tips for Black & Brown Skin

This shoot and article were put together for issue 17 of the magazine with the help of makeup artist Joyce Connor. It was originally published in Nov/Dec 2017 yet it was never shared in full online. We think that you should be able to easily find hair and make up tips to make you feel the most beautiful on your wedding day, regardless of your skin tone. The exact same make up will look wildly different on varying skin tones and we’re here to show you how to get the best result, whatever shade of beauty you are. Over to you, Joyce:

The amazing thing about having a darker complexion is that you wear bright colours on both the eyes and lips at the same time. This dispels the usual rule of either having a strong eye or lip. When I first planned the looks for these two gorgeous ladies I wanted do to one simple one and the other a lot stronger without the usual (and obvious!) jewel colours on the eyes. I wanted to create looks that would match any skin tone from olive through to the darkest black. These looks can be diluted onto paler skin tones too. Anyone can wear any make up look, it’s just about adapting it for you and choosing the right depth of colour for your skin.

Darker skin tones naturally have more melanin which tends to make skin slightly on the oily side. Choosing the right skincare products will help to control excess oil. Having a good skincare routine is essential to making your make up last all day. Excessive use of oil stripping products will make your skin produce more so avoid using alcohol based products and anything that makes the skin dehydrated. Pigmentation can be a problem for some darker skins. Using a sunscreen daily will protect the skin from UV rays and reduce excessive melanin production.

Both Tamara and Chantelle, our real bride models, are wearing the exact same products apart from their foundation and bases which I colour matched for their skin tones. I cleansed, used a hydrating spritz, eye cream, serum and moisturiser followed by a primer. Dewy make up is currently on trend and to achieve that look use a glowy serum under the make up and only powder the t-zone areas on your face.

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Navigating your Way through Planning an LGBTQ Wedding

It's 2020 and so planning an LGBTQ wedding shouldn't be any different to planning a straight one. While there have been HUGE, incredible strides made all over the world in the last few years, parts of the wedding industry are still (STILL!) outdated and hetro-normative as fuck. Hayley of Wedding Business School has recently set up a FREE online course for wedding suppliers to help educate and improve the lack of inclusivity and diversity she's personally experienced. Today she's sharing some practical tips and advice on how you can best navigate your wedding planning when you are an LGBTQ couple, too. Hayley, we love you! Over to you...
It’s 2020 and so planning an LGBTQ wedding shouldn’t be any different to planning a straight one. While there have been HUGE, incredible strides made all over the world in the last few years, parts of the wedding industry are still (STILL!) outdated and hetro-normative as fuck. Hayley of Wedding Business School has recently set up a FREE online course for wedding suppliers to help educate and improve the lack of inclusivity and diversity she’s personally experienced. Today she’s sharing some practical tips and advice on how you can best navigate your wedding planning when you are an LGBTQ couple, too. Hayley, we love you! Over to you…

Yay! You’re engaged! No doubt you’ve already started pinning inspo to your Pinterest board, started discussing who would make a great ‘I Do’ crew and thinking about venues. You may have both already faced some ‘opinions’ from family and friends on what they feel you should do for your wedding day. As an LGBTQ couple planning your wedding, you may notice as you go along that things are a little different for you both. Now, of course, it definitely shouldn’t be like this, but in a day and age when we still need Pride and LGBTQ awareness, things may be challenging sometimes. The great news is that you can definitely overcome any challenges with some prior contingency planning!

My wife and I got married last year and even though I’ve worked in the wedding industry for 13 years, I was still a little taken back, to put it mildly, at some of the challenges we faced… And I’m not even talking about the reaction to the relaxed ‘dress code’ we had either! We found ourselves regularly educating our family, guests and wedding suppliers on what we wanted and how to be fully inclusive. This took us back as you can imagine – who would have thought that in 2019, the wedding industry could still be so LGBTQ exclusive?

One of our bridesmaids bought us a pile of wedding magazines when we got engaged (not Rock n Roll Bride I must add!) As we sat down to go through them, I noticed a similar theme; none of them had any LGBTQ content whatsoever. How could I relate and plan my wedding using these magazines that were outdated in their view of modern day weddings? Blogs were a saving grace for us and showed us ‘real world’ weddings that were full of originality, inclusivity and diversity, rather than the well staged photo shoots featuring the same ‘Mr and Mrs’ narrative.

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Set Healthy Boundaries With your Family (Whatever Family Looks Like to You)

Before we get started, I want to caveat this piece by saying I’m going to be using some of the traditional family names such as mum, dad, grandparent and sibling, but please feel free to input whatever caregiver is relevant in your world. These rules for good boundaries apply to anyone if your life including the families we make ourselves. Essentially, whatever ‘family’ looks like in your world, these rules will help you feel happy and sane before, during and after your ‘I Do’s’.

Oh families… Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em! There can be few more challenging times to manage family relationships than when you find yourself planning a wedding.

There’s not only the trickiness of the guest list and the sudden wishes of your dad to invite his important work clients see his little girl get married (this actually happened to someone I know) but there might also a bit of parental money put into the pot, and that can mean a fine balancing act of their wishes being granted and your wishes, full stop.

It’s tough getting a group of (let’s be honest, often awkward) people to wear what you would like them to, eat what you would like them to and listen to whatever music you would like them to! So, here’s some advice on how to put in healthy boundaries:

Learn to feel when a boundary has been crossed

We’re very conditioned, especially with any parental figures, to go along with things. If you’ve been told as a child not to question a parent’s authority (i.e. ‘because I say so’) then, even as an adult it can be very hard to stand up for your needs. If you’re not sure when it’s time to set a boundary, take note of when something trips your emotions into play. You might feel uneasy, angry, sad or anxious. Physical sensations might be your belly dropping, heart increasing and dry throat. Give yourself permission (and space) to feel your feelings and these sensations because they’re trying to tell you something. Important side note: Anything too much for you to deal with on your own, then please seek out professional support.

Be clear about your needs

Before having any sort of conversation with your family, work out what your needs are and write them down. Would you prefer your sibling not be in the bridal party because you’d rather just have friends? (They’ll get over it). Do you need your dad to not walk you down the aisle because you don’t believe in that tradition? (He’ll get over it) Would you prefer your mum to not see your outfit before the big day? (A biggie, but she’ll also get over it).

All of these needs, and whatever list you come up with, are worthy of respect. Boundaries are there to make us feel safe and comfortable. Without them, we feel unsafe and uncomfortable. Having the courage to communicate our needs and set a boundary is more loving than pretending something is okay when it isn’t. Not communicating how you feel can lead to resentment and even pulling away from the relationship entirely. Don’t let that happen. Regardless of whether it’s a family member or not – no one has the right to make you feel uncomfortable (in any situation, not just planning a wedding, ya feel me babe?)

Be brave

That being said, THIS STUFF IS HARD! When your mum has her heart set on a swing band and two tables of ‘her girls’ coming to see you get hitched, it’s very hard to stand up for the vision of the day you want (which you want filled with your friends!) You’re not alone in finding this stuff really scary and potentially confrontational. We get scared that the person will be hurt or angry (they probably will, more on that in a mo’) and we get scared they won’t like us or worse, that the relationship will end.

Intrusiveness and judgement are both characteristics of family communication. It takes balls to put a line in the sand and say no more. Show yourself some kindness, take some deep breaths then look at your list of needs. Say it with me: MY NEEDS ARE VALID.

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How to be a Confidence Queen

There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to be the centre of attention in life, however on your wedding day it can be kinda tricky not to be.

Everyone is there because they love you and your partner so It’s inevitable that they’re going to want to spend a little bit of time with you, take your photo (because you look incredible) and shower you with compliments. The amount of attention can leave even the most confident person feeling overwhelmed, but don’t give up on your dream day just yet.

There are a million reasons why getting over your ‘confidence wobbles’ is worth it for a wedding, for example: Seeing the look of love in your partner’s eyes when you see them at the end of the aisle, getting ready with your best friends, sharing a special moment with your mum or mad (if you have one that you’d fond of), seeing your friends throw shapes at the party of your dreams that all your friends have to come to (even if it’s a death metal or rainbow sparkle theme they would on any other day not agree to).

There’s no getting around it, for one day only you’re going to have to learn to love the limelight. To help get you through, I’ve got some killer tips to help even the most introverted babes.

Utilise your bridesmaids

This is your buffering crew! Give your pals strict instructions to save you from certain situations. Arm them with a list of people you would rather avoid getting stuck talking to (sorry not sorry, Auntie Doreen) or perhaps simply tell them that if they see you lost in a sea of people, they are to throw you a life raft immediately. If you don’t have a secret hand gesture, now is the time to make one.

Instruct your photographer

It’s likely that even if you don’t like being at the centre of it all, you’re going to want to capture something of this magical day. In my experience, investing in a photographer is one of the best things to spend your budget on. A professional photographer can not only make you look like a movie star but they’re also used to dealing with drunken wedding crowds, and they can follow any instructions you give about shots you do or don’t want. Don’t want to spend hours doing a thousand traditional family portraits? Don’t do them then. You can even ask a good photographer not to take any formal photos and just capture the whole day without even knowing that they’re there. You don’t even have to look down the lens of a camera in order to receive a magical set of memories back if you don’t want to!

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How to Mark Your Original Wedding Date if You’ve Postponed Due to Covid-19

Oh babe, what a time to be planning your wedding. I won’t preface this by going over what a difficult time this is again and again because you know that, and if you clicked the link to read this article it’s because you are SOLUTION FOCUSED and honey, I’m here for it!

While you may have gone into wedding planning thinking it was all going to be about dresses and flowers and champagne breakfasts (believe me, it’s not, even if you don’t have a worldwide pandemic to contend with!) I think it’s safe to say that we’ve all realised what the true meaning of weddings, and marriage, is all about over the past few weeks. Love. Commitment. Standing up in front of your loved ones (or doing it in private yet still signing a bit of paper to declare it) and saying “THIS IS THE ONE I CHOOSE; THIS IS MY PERSON.”

Maybe your original wedding date is coming up soon, and maybe you’re really sad about it. Well, it doesn’t need to be just another day in lockdown, here’s some ideas for you to still mark the date and make it as special as quarantine will allow.

And by the way, I know it’s not the same, but my husband and I celebrated both our birthdays (AND our wedding anniversary!) in quarantine this year and they were honestly some of our favourite birthdays ever. We got to do the days entirely on our own terms, we didn’t have to please or host anybody else and we got to spend them with our favourite person – each other. The pressure was off and we were able to realise that it is possible to still make a day special even when it doesn’t pan out how you may expect. The little efforts we were able to go to (hanging homemade happy birthday bunting, making our favourite drinks, going for a long walk in the sunshine) had so much more impact.

Have a virtual ceremony

While in the UK (somebody please correct me if I’m wrong) a virtual wedding – where you have an officiant ‘marry’ you over Zoom or Skype – won’t be legal, it’s still a wonderful way to mark your original wedding date. At the end of the day, although your marriage won’t be recognised by the state until you’re able to go and do the paper signing bit, you can still CHOOSE to celebrate whichever date you damn well please as your anniversary – OR this way you get two!

Spend your quarantine writing your vows, invite your friends and family to join you online and commit your lives to one another! What better time to celebrate your love than right now? You can always make it legal later.

Humanist wedding celebrant Zena Birch performed one of the first virtual weddings in the UK on March 28th and the story was beautiful.

Make the mundane moments as special as you can

If your original wedding date falls while we’re still in quarantine then don’t let that stop you having the best day ever. I mean, gosh, isn’t that what this whole marriage thing is all about ANYWAY?

Cook your favourite meal (or order in – shout out to all those delivery drivers!), have a living room dance party, have a movie night, take some time to go down memory lane. You could recreate your first date at home, or take the time to go through old photos, letters, or mementos of your relationship. While it’s not going to be what you originally thought you’d do on this date, you can use it to remind yourselves why you fell in love in the first place.

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