One of the best things you can do to ensure your wedding is as sustainable as possible is to work with local small suppliers who model genuine sustainability in their own businesses.
More couples than EVER are showing how much they care about the planet by putting sustainability at the heart of their wedding planning. This is GREAT NEWS because if we all don’t take a long look at how we’ve been living and make some changes, we’ll allllll be effected.
It’s no wonder that a 2021 study from The University of Bath found that 75% of their respondents said they felt the ‘future was frightening’. It is scary to hear what the scientists are saying and think about how climate change will impact our lives if humanity can’t change the course it’s on.
It is daunting, but taking action is the number one way to counter any eco-anxiety you might be feeling and there are HUNDREDS of ways to make your wedding so super sustainable that you’ll have some serious bragging rights. This issue of the magazine is a great place to start collecting lots of ideas!
One of the key things you can do is support businesses that care about their workers and how they produce the products and services they sell. The key to finding suppliers with the right ethical credentials is to do your research and ask a LOT of questions. Where are my flowers grown? Where is my dress material sourced from? How are the workers treated? Where’s my food grown? How is food waste dealt with?
It can feel overwhelming and sadly there’s a LOT of sustainability ‘greenwashing’ going on out in the world (meaning lots of right words being said with not enough action to back it up). However, here are four fabulous suppliers who have sustainability at the forefront of their businesses. Hopefully their stories will inspire you to find the right people local to you:
All relationships, even the happiest ones, experience conflict. Psychotherapist and relationship coachGloria Zhang says the goal should not be to eliminate it entirely (because that’s totally unrealistic!) but instead to work through any disagreements, niggles and stressful times together.
Do you know one of those blissfully happy couples who seem to have it all figured out? You probably roll your eyes at them. That perfect, fawning pair who have been together longer than the Internet has existed. They hold hands everywhere. Their Instagram feed is full of romantic getaways to countries you’ve never heard of. Sometimes you secretly wish they would adopt you.
“How nice,” you might think, “They probably never fight!”
Right? Wrong!
Surprisingly, therapists have discovered that people in happy marriages often never solve a lot of their issues!By default, that means the goal isn’t to eliminate all conflict entirely.
So, how do those ‘perfect’ couples (although you know no one’s relationship is actually perfect right?) deal with their problems? The answer is actually more philosophical than anything.
Happy couples accept that problems are just a fact of life. They focus on handling conflict in a productive way.
The good news is that you can also learn how to fight fair. By conquering your fear of conflict, you’ll have a happier marriage and actually grow stronger after an argument. In my opinion, that sounds way better than the slow, painful death of years of resentment.
But first… we need to talk about how NOT to fight.
After you pick your wedding date and location, one of the first things you’re going to want to do is put together a wedding website. Traditional paper invites are awesome (we’re huge fans of print at Rock n Roll Bride!) but having something online will make it SUPER easy for your guests to get all the vital info they might need before your big day.
In the whirlwind that is wedding planning, it is so easy to forget some really important things, but fret not, today we are here to help! Here are some vital, but often forgotten, pieces of information which we think you should definitely include.
Your ceremony arrival and start time
It’s a good idea to include a start time for your ceremony but also a recommended arrival time too. If your ceremony starts at 1pm, advise people to start arriving from 12:30 for example, to avoid any confusion or stragglers showing up at 1 on the dot!
If your reception is being held somewhere else, how to get between locations and how long the journey is
Everyone has Google Maps on their phones of course, but an idea how long and how easy the journey is between venues will certainly be appreciated by a lot of people. Also advise if there is public transport or they have to drive/ carpool.
Gift info… even if you’re not having a gift list!
It’s frightfully British to feel like a gift registry or asking for cash is very grabby. That’s not the case at all and actually, it makes your guests’ lives way easier if they know what to buy you. Most people will want to give you a gift so a suggestion that, if they’d like to, you’d love XYZ actually helps people out a lot!
Dress code… even if it’s come as you are
Figuring out what to wear to a wedding can be stressful for guests, so to make it easier on them, be specific but not demanding. Avoid telling people exactly what to wear but if you’re having a theme, or you have any guidelines, let them know!
For example, if you’re having a festival wedding and most of the day is being held outside, make them aware that they need to wear field-appropriate footwear and bring a jacket for the evening.
A weather check
While, of course, we can’t guarantee the weather, letting people know to pack things like sunscreen, insect repellent or an umbrella just in case will certainly be appreciated.
Accessibility
This one is easy to forget, especially if you don’t have to think of it for yourself, but it’s a super helpful thing to include for your guests. Add any details you have about ramps and wheelchair accessibility, accessible bathrooms and hearing loop information at your venue(s) can be added. Also, if you have any neurodivergent guests, include details about the measures you are putting in place for them too. Weddings can be a big stressor for Autistic people, for example, so this extra attention and thoughtfulness will be approached.
When it comes to choosing a colour palette for your wedding, we say more is more! Wanting to banish neutrals and snooze-worthy samey colour schemes from your day but not sure how? Well, read on colour lover because we got you…
If you type ‘wedding colour palette’ into Pinterest, your head will explode and you will die. Cause of death: Brain Overload of Blurgness (or BOOB). It’s all burgundy and navy and (*clutches pearls*) neutrals. Side note: ‘neutrals’ is not a colour and should thus be banished from colour palettes until the end of time, or even later. Be gone neutrals, we do not miss you, because you barely exist.
Beyond the blurgness, there’s a whole lotta copy and paste going on. Couples picking up a palette without question and rehashing it. Boring! It’s simply multiplying the blurgery. Plus, there’s nary a merry fuchsia, poppin’ lime green, incandescent fluro yellow or an eye gouging 70s orange to be seen. A modern-day Pin-tragedy (*lies on sofa for 11 hours to recover from serious case of BOOB*).
But do not fret, here’s how to create a kickass bright and bold colour palette that will cause zero BOOB deaths, is not a rehash of a rehash of a copy, and suits your rock ‘n’ roll wedding perfectly (*chef’s kiss*).
Get your wedding styling ball rollin’
Like starting an essay by writing an outline, mapping out your colour palette is the key to nailing your wedding styling, with max fun and min stress.
Start at the start. Go about your wedding planning pretending to not even know a single thing about colour schemes, combos or palettes. As you start to read wedding magazines (oh hello there, dear reader!), dabble in Pinterest and follow ace wedding blogs and vendors on Instagram and TikTok, make note of what attracts you. I betcha there’s a bit of a pattern in terms of colours and styles that have you positively jazzed.
Wedding vibe = your colours
When you think about the wedding you want, what vibes and feels does it give you? Raging party = neon hues. Wintery and romantic = deep, moody colours that feel warm and cosy. Relaxed garden wedding = pastels and all the greens. Desert elopement = a mix of dusty and stark colours.
There! You’ve snuck up on a colour scheme without it even realising! Use it to help you narrow your searches and decisions. For example, when thinking about a florist, which ones do kick arse work in colours (and styles) already aligned with yours?! Get in touch with them and don’t worry about anyone else. You don’t need to talk to every florist in your 500km radius, and thus you’ve made your life heappppppps easier (nor will you waste the time of eleventy billion florists, and they thank you for that in advance).
Rochelle, who has a number of chronic illnesses and is an ambassador for M.E Support UK, married Dan in 2014. Today she talks to us about what she learnt during her wedding planning, and shares some valuable tips for those of you in currently doing the same.
I’ve been married for eight years this year and if I could do it all over again I would; unfortunately, not because it was so enjoyable, quite the opposite in fact. There was so much going on in our lives at the time, that I ended up bombarded and smothered by things that in the end, just didn’t matter.
I was diagnosed with a multitude of chronic illnesses in 2013. I have M.E, Fibromyalgia, Endometriosis, Hyper-mobility, Costochondritis and Asthma. I had Asthma before meeting my fiancé but the rest all came hurtling at us in one giant, F-off curve ball at full speed just six months after we got engaged.
I got so absorbed in what I thought were huge issues at the time – for example, the weight I gained from not being as mobile anymore. It made me feel embarrassed and I was not feeling confident enough to go and try dresses on, so I settled and I really regret diminishing myself and our day.
I did most of the planning by myself, sitting up in bed, or with my now husband, who, added twist to our story, is neurodivergent. He was very involved in the planning but this was a requirement for him as he was never going to be able to be one of the “Tell me where and when and I’ll be there” partners. His anxiety levels didn’t allow it, he needed clear, concise information for all aspects which meant a lot more organisation required on my part.
Chronic illness takes so much away from those affected by it every day so I want to share some advice I learned in hindsight from my own experience to make sure you have the memorable celebration of your love that you deserve.
Make it Your Day
Seems obvious right? Your celebration should one hundred percent be about you and the person you love. However, once other people start to get involved it’s easy to start questioning your vision and decisions. As a chronically ill person, you need to think about your own health and make that a priority at every step. It’s not selfish, it’s survival.
Don’t listen to what others deem a ‘proper’ wedding (In fact if someone suggests your wedding isn’t a proper wedding then I would definitely strike them from the invite list!) and instead, make it the day you and your partner want and need it to be. Others will try and muzzle in and give their opinions all the time but at the end of the day, it’s your experience and you will regret not doing it your way.
Ask for Help
I let my complex of being a ‘burden’ stop me from doing a lot of things in my wedding experience. It ended up that I did most of the planning and organising by myself and on the day of our wedding my husband was ferrying people back and forth to the venue and almost missed our ceremony! It is not something I recommend at all for stress levels or your moral, I have no fun or meaningful memories of planning my day. Be a Team
It’s ironic that the day of love and commitment you are planning for you and your partner can actually be one of the most argument-inducing subjects and times in your relationship. For anyone who is chronically ill, stress can be a huge trigger for flare. As my husband is neurodivergent, he isn’t always the best at communicating, especially when there is pressure or in a time sensitive situation.
We used an approach, that we actually still to use to this day, for any stressors or conflicts during planning. We planned a time in the day where we could begin discussions calmly and without distractions.
When it comes to the expectations put upon a bride, the patriarchy has done us all a great dirty wrong by creating yet another unattainable standard for women to try to meet. I know— shocking, right? This one tends to go by the cliché of the ‘perfect bride’.
The perfect bride will look the most beautiful she has ever looked on her wedding day. She will be an effortless host to her friends and family: gliding about like a silken swan; laughing in all the right places; glowing when appropriate; accommodating for each individual attending, as if they themselves are her personal guest of honour. And… she will manage all of this on potentially one of the most emotionally-challenging, mentally-demanding, physically-exhausting days of her life, without making it seem like any work at all. The perfect bride, simply put, will not be human. Or, in other words, she does not exist.
Ask yourself… is the thing your friends, family and significant other most love about you the fact that you are perfect? No. It isn’t. And even if you were perfect (which you aren’t, none of us are), let’s be honest… it would probably be the thing your friends and family loved you in spite of, not because of. Who wants a perfect friend? Who can relate to or connect with or be vulnerable around perfection? So why strive for it on your wedding day?
I’m saying this because, though it was magical, memorable, joyous, elating, happy, fantastic, wonderful, special, hilarious, emotional, spectacular and incredible… my whole wedding day was not perfect from start to finish. And I believe I’d be doing the readers of this magazine— and the ethos of what it is to be a Rock n Roll Bride— a disservice to pretend otherwise.
Strike one in pursuit of perfection (and I’m pulling no punches here, reader): I had such bad diarrhoea for the whole morning on my wedding day that we started referring to the downstairs loo as “the scene of the crime”. I’m not sure if it was the gluten the night before or if I just had a nervous tummy, but it was like the scene from Bridesmaids and it was not okay. Strike two: During the journey to the venue, I had my first ever anxiety attack and had to get out of the car.
