Linsey and Allison met on Tinder, and were crazy about each other from the moment they met! When it came to planning their September wedding, they were inspired by the barn and outdoor space at Garden Gate at Haley Farm in Maine, New England. “Our vision was captivating design and lush florals,” the couple told us, “to go alongside the beauty of the property. Our love for jewel tones was also an inspiration! We loved having so much outdoor space in the lawns and the back deck. We wanted an outdoor seating area the moment we saw the back deck.”
COVID restrictions at the time meant their guest list had to be small, of just 25 people. Bounty O’ Blooms provided lush florals for the day, and Nothing Bakes Like A Parrott a gorgeous pink ombre cake. One Stop Events provided rentals, but the rest of the day was planned themselves. “It is hard to plan a wedding during a pandemic! Although we had to plan a wedding with a small guest list it still feels like it turned out perfectly with our family and closest friends.”
It’s 2020 and so planning an LGBTQ wedding shouldn’t be any different to planning a straight one. While there have been HUGE, incredible strides made all over the world in the last few years, parts of the wedding industry are still (STILL!) outdated and hetro-normative as fuck. Hayley of Found her Flow has recently set up a FREE online course for wedding suppliers to help educate and improve the lack of inclusivity and diversity she’s personally experienced. Today she’s sharing some practical tips and advice on how you can best navigate your wedding planning when you are an LGBTQ couple, too. Hayley, we love you! Over to you…
Yay! You’re engaged! No doubt you’ve already started pinning inspo to your Pinterest board, started discussing who would make a great ‘I Do’ crew and thinking about venues. You may have both already faced some ‘opinions’ from family and friends on what they feel you should do for your wedding day. As an LGBTQ couple planning your wedding, you may notice as you go along that things are a little different for you both. Now, of course, it definitely shouldn’t be like this, but in a day and age when we still need Pride and LGBTQ awareness, things may be challenging sometimes. The great news is that you can definitely overcome any challenges with some prior contingency planning!
My wife and I got married last year and even though I’ve worked in the wedding industry for 13 years, I was still a little taken back, to put it mildly, at some of the challenges we faced… And I’m not even talking about the reaction to the relaxed ‘dress code’ we had either! We found ourselves regularly educating our family, guests and wedding suppliers on what we wanted and how to be fully inclusive. This took us back as you can imagine – who would have thought that in 2019, the wedding industry could still be so LGBTQ exclusive?
One of our bridesmaids bought us a pile of wedding magazines when we got engaged (not Rock n Roll Bride I must add!) As we sat down to go through them, I noticed a similar theme; none of them had any LGBTQ content whatsoever. How could I relate and plan my wedding using these magazines that were outdated in their view of modern day weddings? Blogs were a saving grace for us and showed us ‘real world’ weddings that were full of originality, inclusivity and diversity, rather than the well staged photo shoots featuring the same ‘Mr and Mrs’ narrative.
Collectively known as ‘The Lucys’ – Lucy K and Lucy J met in London at a Hercules and Love Affair gig through mutual friends. When it came to planning their September wedding, they touched on their shared interests; queer club nights, cabaret, vintage tea parties and pizza, to name but a few!
With a £15,000 budget, they had so much fun planning their wedding. “We always knew we weren’t going to have a traditional wedding,” explained Lucy K, “expressing our personalities and coming up with touches that were as individual as us was our favourite part. We just put things together that we liked, really, and didn’t worry about what ‘went’ together. We planned the whole thing in just nine months, which was probably quite stressful for a DIY day – a year might’ve been better!”
Ahh Lily and Claribell’s wedding brings us so much joy!! They were married at My Moon Restaurant in Brooklyn and although they had just $5000 to spend their day was beautiful and so right for them! The theme was a combination of keeping things simple and intimate but with rustic and romantic touches. They wanted to celebrate their day with their closest loved ones and avoid anything to formal or fancy.
“Our inspiration was for it to be romantic and simple”, they explained. “We loved that our venue provide everything for us and we didn’t have to go crazy hiring multiple people to put our vision together, My Moon had everything we wanted from decor to ceremony space.”
Raul and Ruben married in an intimate ceremony at Casa Benigalip, Alicante in July 2019. Joined by their closest friends and family, they wanted a day that was rustic, intimate and that reflected their love of food, drink and a good time – and judging by these gorgeous images, they achieved that and then some!
With a €20,000 budget, they employed Le Cocotet wedding planners to help co-ordinate from start to finish. “We didn’t hesitate to hire a wedding planner,” explained Raul, “we wanted someone to take the lead and help us make all the important decisions so there was no nasty surprises!” They used a variety of American wedding magazines and blogs to help inspire the details for their day – pulling inspiration from the local surroundings with opulent florals and rustic tableware, and Las Vegas dessert weddings with macrame and woven basket detailing.
Becs and Megs’ simple wedding started with a ceremony at Manchester register office followed by a restaurant reception at No 1 Canal Street. Armed with a budget of £3500 they only included things they cared about, wore outfits from Karen Millen and kept the extra decorations minimal. The flowers were limited to their bouquets and the flowers in their hair.
“Our wedding theme was Manchester city centre, rainbow and glitter gay!” they said. “We just love each other and wanted to get married! That was all the inspiration we needed.”
They actually started by planning a secret wedding ten weeks before the date. They were going to just ask just two friends to be witnesses which is why they ended up getting married on a Tuesday at 11am! “The ideas then began to grow as we decided we couldn’t be married without our dearest present to celebrate”, they continued. “We were so humbled that people came from Switzerland, Scotland, Ireland, Devon, London, the lakes, the Midlands and Manchester to support us. Everyone had to take a day off work and make childcare arrangements, but none of this seemed to matter to them, we invited them and they were so happy to be invited. We loved marching them across Manchester form the registry office to Canal Street, carrying seven rainbow umbrellas just in case!”
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